Every trauma inflicted on me has culminated into a moral cataract. I am tainted by my experiences.
There is something inherently authoritarian about the manner in which I have been regulating my emotions, thoughts, and desires. In my recently assumed habit of resolving intrapersonal quandaries via irrational and violent suppression, I see a nascent fascist.
In a paradigm where my emotions are relegated to a lower order, I have no issue mentally self-flagellating myself for engaging in patterns of behavior ingrained in most humans. I am constantly compelled to cut, starve, and punish myself for the slightest error.
I'm cruel to myself, but I will never accept anything less than being the final arbiter of my fate. I alone reserve the prerogative to punish and reward myself.
Despite repudiating my Islamic heritage, I perceive an affinity between myself and religious terrorists. I am willing to sacrifice myself to achieve order in the greater scheme of things. I don't want to, though I shall. Is ideology the only demarcation between myself and my ancestors?
Once again, despite our religious differences, Khomenei embodies a certain quality to which I aspire. Unfazed by the petty human drama of the material world, his gaze eternally fixated on a goal beyond the horizon of history. The very man who admitted he felt nothing after inciting a revolution and returning to his homeland after 14 wearisome years - iconic.
My experience of the immediate material world has been scarred by suffering. I don't want anything at all. Every desire is merely the need of an external surrogate to fill a lacuna in the self. Lack of desire is a sign of completeness.
There is something inherently authoritarian about the manner in which I have been regulating my emotions, thoughts, and desires. In my recently assumed habit of resolving intrapersonal quandaries via irrational and violent suppression, I see a nascent fascist.
In a paradigm where my emotions are relegated to a lower order, I have no issue mentally self-flagellating myself for engaging in patterns of behavior ingrained in most humans. I am constantly compelled to cut, starve, and punish myself for the slightest error.
I'm cruel to myself, but I will never accept anything less than being the final arbiter of my fate. I alone reserve the prerogative to punish and reward myself.
Despite repudiating my Islamic heritage, I perceive an affinity between myself and religious terrorists. I am willing to sacrifice myself to achieve order in the greater scheme of things. I don't want to, though I shall. Is ideology the only demarcation between myself and my ancestors?
Once again, despite our religious differences, Khomenei embodies a certain quality to which I aspire. Unfazed by the petty human drama of the material world, his gaze eternally fixated on a goal beyond the horizon of history. The very man who admitted he felt nothing after inciting a revolution and returning to his homeland after 14 wearisome years - iconic.
My experience of the immediate material world has been scarred by suffering. I don't want anything at all. Every desire is merely the need of an external surrogate to fill a lacuna in the self. Lack of desire is a sign of completeness.
