Here is the situation I am 20 now (not 21 lol) and second year of college, but I basically stopped attending, I didn't even attend last semester's exams .
What stopped me was, Idk I didn't look good so no friends, didn't feel like spending my time studying again after school, I wanted a little kick that just won't happen to me
I actually enjoyed school since it gave me a sense of porpuse, I liked improving at it since it was all around "facts" but social life isn't always about truth, people don't value truth but how you package it, it gets to a point where if you package wickedness well, people start treating you better
Honestly what is making the experience worse is talking to people, once they think you don't posses the right traits, they start ignoring you, not bad mouthing you, not kicking you out, they just ignore you like you don't exist.
Honestly I think I went insane a couple years ago and just waiting for the moment to be thrown in a psyche ward or something
I am gonna say my biggest problem right now: it is being either ignored or contempted when I try to exist or "show up"
Being ignored is worse because it means you haven't even stepped foot in something people deem meaningful to even start arguing with you
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I spent my years analysing life in my cold dark room, and got to the conclusion it is only meaningful for people who can perform as in "act" their parts well
At this point I am trying to be a "fan" of something, I started righting encouragement comments on random posts like "keep going
" and stuff, just existing like this feels better than not.
So what do you guys think? I know I am living a faggot life where I can't even show myself in the streets that is why I am asking for help, I also don't post much because I think I write like a dumb bitch and I would get annoyed if people start writing like this
What stopped me was, Idk I didn't look good so no friends, didn't feel like spending my time studying again after school, I wanted a little kick that just won't happen to me
I actually enjoyed school since it gave me a sense of porpuse, I liked improving at it since it was all around "facts" but social life isn't always about truth, people don't value truth but how you package it, it gets to a point where if you package wickedness well, people start treating you better
Honestly what is making the experience worse is talking to people, once they think you don't posses the right traits, they start ignoring you, not bad mouthing you, not kicking you out, they just ignore you like you don't exist.
Honestly I think I went insane a couple years ago and just waiting for the moment to be thrown in a psyche ward or something
I am gonna say my biggest problem right now: it is being either ignored or contempted when I try to exist or "show up"
Being ignored is worse because it means you haven't even stepped foot in something people deem meaningful to even start arguing with you
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I spent my years analysing life in my cold dark room, and got to the conclusion it is only meaningful for people who can perform as in "act" their parts well
At this point I am trying to be a "fan" of something, I started righting encouragement comments on random posts like "keep going
" and stuff, just existing like this feels better than not. So what do you guys think? I know I am living a faggot life where I can't even show myself in the streets that is why I am asking for help, I also don't post much because I think I write like a dumb bitch and I would get annoyed if people start writing like this
