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I am going back to uni in January

Indari

Indari

ovencel
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Nov 7, 2017
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I dropped out before I could complete this (https://i.imgur.com/arqe7HV.png) but there's no way in hell I'm doing it if it's still there when I get back. It is fucking ridiculous how I turn 18 and people are suddenly asking me "what my plan is." Especially getting that from my mother. She should know best of all how ill-prepared I am for anything since she did the shitty job of raising me, but the same retardation that made her a shitty parent in the first place prevents her from seeing this. She says the most banal shit with lines straight out of the shitty tv shows she watches all day no matter how the situation differs from the norm. Like telling me to "get a job," as if that's something I can just do, or asking me "what my plan is" as if someone like me could possibly have plans for the future. Like she would fucking know if I had some great ambitions right? I might as well not be her son, since if I was she would know that her questions are fucking ridiculous. I guess I can't blame her for being an aspie, but fuck that I can. She should never have had kids. I was bred like a rat and not given a second thought after I was shat out of her uterus. I wasn't raised by her besides her providing the essentials for survival. And some people tell me I should be grateful for that. Just lol.

I hope I can at least survive this semester but like with everything I am thoroughly pessimistic. Even being pessimistic it may turn out worse than I expected, because no matter how rock bottom low my expectation are, I still have some hope hidden underneath that I can't suppress. Last semester I couldn't even keep up with my classes, and while that may have been due to my adviser fucking me over and telling me to take two of the hardest classes at the same time, my motivation has been shattered and my willingness to give up and fail bolstered. I don't know if I can make it even with easier classes. I will have to take the easiest ones I can and just ease into it. I don't know why I have such trouble with everything. Other people don't seem to worry and get over things easily that are a major crisis for me. I've observed this my entire life. People are bemused by my problems.
 
Are you STEMcel? If so, it's perhaps worth the effort. If anything else, drop out and go NEET.
 
If you really want to do well in college, what you have to do is leave all your baggage at the door when you enter class on the first day. What this means is that whoever you are outside the classroom and at home, that shit stays at home; in class you are a student first and foremost. Think of it as clocking in for a job. I don't use my laptop or my cellphone in class because I know that I will just compulsively not pay attention and distract myself. I write everything the teacher says down like a stenographer. I raise my hands once per class to keep participating and make a good impression, which often pays off when you need something from the professor (help, extension on assignment, etc.). When you get home you have to do your work first, and then browse forums or play vidya or whatever you waste time on. As soon as I accepted these things, my life became much easier. I dicked around in community college for years, doing mad drugs and partying and thinking I could just skate by in class and homework, but that always led to school becoming the last priority and thus nothing getting done. You need to make it your first priority and suck it up. Whenever I'd lay in bed not doing anything, I'd say to myself, "boohoo, look at this crybaby, perfectly capable of doing what is required of him but too lazy and depressed to do anything," and that kind of self-pity disgusted me and forced me to get up and do something.

Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.
 
blickpall said:
If you really want to do well in college, what you have to do is leave all your baggage at the door when you enter class on the first day. What this means is that whoever you are outside the classroom and at home, that shit stays at home; in class you are a student first and foremost. Think of it as clocking in for a job. I don't use my laptop or my cellphone in class because I know that I will just compulsively not pay attention and distract myself. I write everything the teacher says down like a stenographer. I raise my hands once per class to keep participating and make a good impression, which often pays off when you need something from the professor (help, extension on assignment, etc.). When you get home you have to do your work first, and then browse forums or play vidya or whatever you waste time on. As soon as I accepted these things, my life became much easier. I dicked around in community college for years, doing mad drugs and partying and thinking I could just skate by in class and homework, but that always led to school becoming the last priority and thus nothing getting done. You need to make it your first priority and suck it up. Whenever I'd lay in bed not doing anything, I'd say to myself, "boohoo, look at this crybaby, perfectly capable of doing what is required of him but too lazy and depressed to do anything," and that kind of self-pity disgusted me and forced me to get up and do something.

Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.

stop pretending to be a fucking stoic philosopher father figure in this forum ngl
 
incelkingkong said:
stop pretending to be a fucking stoic philosopher father figure in this forum ngl

Thank you for your valuable contribution to the subject at hand.
 
blickpall said:
If you really want to do well in college, what you have to do is leave all your baggage at the door when you enter class on the first day. What this means is that whoever you are outside the classroom and at home, that shit stays at home; in class you are a student first and foremost. Think of it as clocking in for a job. I don't use my laptop or my cellphone in class because I know that I will just compulsively not pay attention and distract myself. I write everything the teacher says down like a stenographer. I raise my hands once per class to keep participating and make a good impression, which often pays off when you need something from the professor (help, extension on assignment, etc.). When you get home you have to do your work first, and then browse forums or play vidya or whatever you waste time on. As soon as I accepted these things, my life became much easier. I dicked around in community college for years, doing mad drugs and partying and thinking I could just skate by in class and homework, but that always led to school becoming the last priority and thus nothing getting done. You need to make it your first priority and suck it up. Whenever I'd lay in bed not doing anything, I'd say to myself, "boohoo, look at this crybaby, perfectly capable of doing what is required of him but too lazy and depressed to do anything," and that kind of self-pity disgusted me and forced me to get up and do something.

Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.

I wish I could say I dropped out because I was partying too much, kek. I felt like I literally didn't have enough time to do my work because I'd spend hours in the library to get one little math homework done and the rest of the day I would be too mentally fatigued/stressed to accomplish anything else and sit there agonizing over the rest of my work until I gave up and did something else. It could just be because my classes were too hard but I am not too hopeful about next semester either. I declared English (creative writing) because it's the only thing I was remotely interested in but I'm not sure I'm capable of writing nonstop essays and analysis or whatever. It's a coin toss since my judgement is terrible anyways.
 
Indari said:
I wish I could say I dropped out because I was partying too much, kek. I felt like I literally didn't have enough time to do my work because I'd spend hours in the library to get one little math homework done and the rest of the day I would be too mentally fatigued/stressed to accomplish anything else and sit there agonizing over the rest of my work until I gave up and did something else. It could just be because my classes were too hard but I am not too hopeful about next semester either. I declared English (creative writing) because it's the only thing I was remotely interested in but I'm not sure I'm capable of writing nonstop essays and analysis or whatever. It's a coin toss since my judgement is terrible anyways.

I don't see why you felt you needed to declare. You should spend your earlier semesters trying to figure out what motivates you and what you like doing, which in turn will make doing those things easier and more interesting. Regardless, if you ever need any English help, I'm here to help (I've worked as an editor for many years).

I get that mental exhaustion feeling too. Perhaps you could take your assignments that you are really struggling with to the tutoring center? People will take some of the load off your shoulders, especially if you struggle to complete a single homework so much. Don't give up though; "doing something else" is a reward you should earn, not a right you have. At least it helped me to look at it that way.
 
blickpall said:
If you really want to do well in college, what you have to do is leave all your baggage at the door when you enter class on the first day. What this means is that whoever you are outside the classroom and at home, that shit stays at home; in class you are a student first and foremost. Think of it as clocking in for a job. I don't use my laptop or my cellphone in class because I know that I will just compulsively not pay attention and distract myself. I write everything the teacher says down like a stenographer. I raise my hands once per class to keep participating and make a good impression, which often pays off when you need something from the professor (help, extension on assignment, etc.). When you get home you have to do your work first, and then browse forums or play vidya or whatever you waste time on. As soon as I accepted these things, my life became much easier. I dicked around in community college for years, doing mad drugs and partying and thinking I could just skate by in class and homework, but that always led to school becoming the last priority and thus nothing getting done. You need to make it your first priority and suck it up. Whenever I'd lay in bed not doing anything, I'd say to myself, "boohoo, look at this crybaby, perfectly capable of doing what is required of him but too lazy and depressed to do anything," and that kind of self-pity disgusted me and forced me to get up and do something.

Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.

Is community college worth it?
 
Morf12 said:
Is community college worth it?

NE USA btw, just for context. Personally I think it is incredible and I'm upset that I didn't capitalize on it sooner. I spent my first year at a relatively prestigious four year school which effectively bankrupted me and was egregiously workload-heavy because they over-accept and then kick out an absurd number of freshmen annually as a form of cash grabbing and filtering I guess. Anyway, once they took all the money I managed to save up for school on my own, despite their scholarships, I had to drop out.

I decided I'd continue to go to school, chose a local community college in the area where my family lives. I show up the day before classes start to submit some paperwork. 2 hours later I'm enrolled. 1 hour later I have 12 credits for the semester. No bullshit, no hassle, no acceptance process or anything. $800-1200 per semester, max; high eligibility for $5000/semester scholarship (I didn't even bother applying TBH because I thought I made too much money to qualify).

I pretty much dick around for a year and then drop out without really doing much of anything. Sign up for classes periodically just to blow them off. Sometimes actually try and have a good semester. This leaves me at around 3 years ago. I decide that it's time to stop dicking around because I'm getting old so I start trying in school again. Pretty effortless overall, and whatever effort is required can be solved by asking for extensions, asking other students for help, fuck, even asking the professor for help. Mad lenient all around, hard to not do well. Retake some of the classes I failed/dropped in the past - instantly replace my "F" or "W" with an "A." GPA skyrockets. Start meeting with a transfer counselor every month. Dude pretty much guides me from A to Z how to get into the school of my choice and what scholarships would be best for me, puts in the good word with some people at the school I am applying to, writes me a sick recommendation letter, the works.

Get into a local state school that has a great program in my field and is tied to a graduate program in the field that is the best in the nation, having spent about 1/5th - 1/10th of what the students already there have spent on the first 2 years of education. Get the majority of my credits transferred (something you can verify ahead of time when you take classes at a community college), and some state law about transfer credits guarantees that I don't have to do any of the "core" curriculum ever again (think English 101, Math 101, whatever the fuck). Graduate state school with ease because I don't have to take any classes outside of my field of study ever again. Get a shoe-in into their graduate program.

Honestly community college was probably one of the best decisions of my life. Was a perfect stepping stone from being a depressed useless druggie to being somewhat academically inclined to being invested into academia. From what I hear, I attended a "good one" and there are shitty ones out there, so do your research ahead of time about things like transfer rates and if your state has any transfer equivalency laws or programs.
 
blickpall said:
I don't see why you felt you needed to declare. You should spend your earlier semesters trying to figure out what motivates you and what you like doing, which in turn will make doing those things easier and more interesting. Regardless, if you ever need any English help, I'm here to help (I've worked as an editor for many years).

I get that mental exhaustion feeling too. Perhaps you could take your assignments that you are really struggling with to the tutoring center? People will take some of the load off your shoulders, especially if you struggle to complete a single homework so much. Don't give up though; "doing something else" is a reward you should earn, not a right you have. At least it helped me to look at it that way.

We had to declare by the end of our first semester, and undeclared students still take classes within a certain general area. I was under the impression I would be able to stay undeclared for the first 2 years. The tutoring services helped, but they weren't always available and I struggled with asking for help as well. Really I just shouldn't have taken chemistry and precal in the same semester (or at all since I don't need them for English). How did you become an editor btw? Did you need a degree? I have no clue what I'm going to do with my degree assuming I even get it
 
blickpall said:
Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.

What could possibly be hard in the latter stages of (You)r education? Unless you're studying mathematics or logic, there's nothing that should keep you in "survival mode."
 
Indari said:
We had to declare by the end of our first semester, and undeclared students still take classes within a certain general area. I was under the impression I would be able to stay undeclared for the first 2 years. The tutoring services helped, but they weren't always available and I struggled with asking for help as well. Really I just shouldn't have taken chemistry and precal in the same semester (or at all since I don't need them for English). How did you become an editor btw? Did you need a degree? I have no clue what I'm going to do with my degree assuming I even get it

That is really strange, that you had to declare so early. That's unfortunate. Hopefully it works out for you! Worst case scenario, you can always switch majors. It's more important to find what you enjoy doing than finishing in 4 years IMO. And yea, English degrees can be difficult to make use of (based on what my friends who went that track tell me). It's important that you diversify your background a bit and connect with a lot of people during college in order to have the best chance of landing a job after graduation, from what I hear. Get internships and stuff like that. Stuff to beef up your resume with diverse experience.

I got my first gig when I was 17 and it was some low-level editing of college application essays for some Korean English teacher. Slowly as her career developed so did my skills and so did my pay; then she suggested me as an employee for a particular school, and they hired me. From that point onward I pretty much rode on recommendations and my resume. No degree in English. Funny enough, the way we met was because she liked the way I posted on forums.


Anonymous said:
What could possibly be hard in the latter stages of (You)r education? Unless you're studying mathematics or logic, there's nothing that should keep you in "survival mode."

The sheer volume of work is what is killing me, on top of my job and internship. In order to earn my stipend I need to do a certain amount of teaching, a certain amount of research, on top of my regular seminars, some of which are on the scientific side and some of which are on the mental/philosophical side (like logic).
 
blickpall said:
That is really strange, that you had to declare so early. That's unfortunate. Hopefully it works out for you! Worst case scenario, you can always switch majors. It's more important to find what you enjoy doing than finishing in 4 years IMO. And yea, English degrees can be difficult to make use of (based on what my friends who went that track tell me). It's important that you diversify your background a bit and connect with a lot of people during college in order to have the best chance of landing a job after graduation, from what I hear. Get internships and stuff like that. Stuff to beef up your resume with diverse experience.

I got my first gig when I was 17 and it was some low-level editing of college application essays for some Korean English teacher. Slowly as her career developed so did my skills and so did my pay; then she suggested me as an employee for a particular school, and they hired me. From that point onward I pretty much rode on recommendations and my resume. No degree in English. Funny enough, the way we met was because she liked the way I posted on forums.



The sheer volume of work is what is killing me, on top of my job and internship. In order to earn my stipend I need to do a certain amount of teaching, a certain amount of research, on top of my regular seminars, some of which are on the scientific side and some of which are on the mental/philosophical side (like logic).

My bad, I assumed the worst. Philosophy is no joke, it is beyond the hardest of the sciences. The math class I'm taking covers formal logic and conceptual analysis, and I'm too suffering. Don't know how you philosophers have the patience! Much respects!
 
Anonymous said:
My bad, I assumed the worst. Philosophy is no joke, it is beyond the hardest of the sciences. The math class I'm taking covers formal logic and conceptual analysis, and I'm too suffering. Don't know how you philosophers have the patience! Much respects!

Just to clarify, I'm not in philosophy but I am in a highly related field (actually two at the moment, since I'm researching in a field I got my minor in at the moment) that borrows heavily from it. We do have purely philosophical seminars as part of the curriculum, though. I find philosophy to often be that kind of "when it clicks, it seems easy," type of study, but getting to that point is sometimes exceptionally arduous, often exacerbated by the language used by the "philosopher" in question. Logic is definitely a large component of what I study. Don't feel comfortable revealing any further specifics, sorry.

Anyhow, thanks and best of luck to you! I hope it all "clicks" for you and me eventually!
 
blickpall said:
NE USA btw, just for context. Personally I think it is incredible and I'm upset that I didn't capitalize on it sooner. I spent my first year at a relatively prestigious four year school which effectively bankrupted me and was egregiously workload-heavy because they over-accept and then kick out an absurd number of freshmen annually as a form of cash grabbing and filtering I guess. Anyway, once they took all the money I managed to save up for school on my own, despite their scholarships, I had to drop out.

I decided I'd continue to go to school, chose a local community college in the area where my family lives. I show up the day before classes start to submit some paperwork. 2 hours later I'm enrolled. 1 hour later I have 12 credits for the semester. No bullshit, no hassle, no acceptance process or anything. $800-1200 per semester, max; high eligibility for $5000/semester scholarship (I didn't even bother applying TBH because I thought I made too much money to qualify).

I pretty much dick around for a year and then drop out without really doing much of anything. Sign up for classes periodically just to blow them off. Sometimes actually try and have a good semester. This leaves me at around 3 years ago. I decide that it's time to stop dicking around because I'm getting old so I start trying in school again. Pretty effortless overall, and whatever effort is required can be solved by asking for extensions, asking other students for help, fuck, even asking the professor for help. Mad lenient all around, hard to not do well. Retake some of the classes I failed/dropped in the past - instantly replace my "F" or "W" with an "A." GPA skyrockets. Start meeting with a transfer counselor every month. Dude pretty much guides me from A to Z how to get into the school of my choice and what scholarships would be best for me, puts in the good word with some people at the school I am applying to, writes me a sick recommendation letter, the works.

Get into a local state school that has a great program in my field and is tied to a graduate program in the field that is the best in the nation, having spent about 1/5th - 1/10th of what the students already there have spent on the first 2 years of education. Get the majority of my credits transferred (something you can verify ahead of time when you take classes at a community college), and some state law about transfer credits guarantees that I don't have to do any of the "core" curriculum ever again (think English 101, Math 101, whatever the fuck). Graduate state school with ease because I don't have to take any classes outside of my field of study ever again. Get a shoe-in into their graduate program.

Honestly community college was probably one of the best decisions of my life. Was a perfect stepping stone from being a depressed useless druggie to being somewhat academically inclined to being invested into academia. From what I hear, I attended a "good one" and there are shitty ones out there, so do your research ahead of time about things like transfer rates and if your state has any transfer equivalency laws or programs.

Thanks for the detailed response. You sound a bit like me with the "depressed useless druggie". I guess what's stopping me from going back is the social anxiety that as build up after 5 years of LDARing and the thought of going to community college at mid 20's sucks. At the very least my community college is tool considered to be one of the best around in my entire region. That and still having to grind through the Math 101s which at this point I'll suck hard at. I always had an idea of what I'd like to do after college, it's not really a dream but a simple middle class job that will earn me decent money. Did you do all this by yourself as a social outvast or did you at least have some support from a social group?
 
incelkingkong said:
stop pretending to be a fucking stoic philosopher father figure in this forum ngl

I agree tbh
 
Morf12 said:
Thanks for the detailed response. You sound a bit like me with the "depressed useless druggie". I guess what's stopping me from going back is the social anxiety that as build up after 5 years of LDARing and the thought of going to community college at mid 20's sucks. At the very least my community college is tool considered to be one of the best around in my entire region. That and still having to grind through the Math 101s which at this point I'll suck hard at. I always had an idea of what I'd like to do after college, it's not really a dream but a simple middle class job that will earn me decent money. Did you do all this by yourself as a social outvast or did you at least have some support from a social group?

I completely relate with the anxiety and LDAR. I'm lucky in that I look up to 10 years younger than I actually am because of babyface and juvenile haircut that I use to cover up my flaws, so most people didn't suspect that I was older than them by many years. Most in-class situations weren't really anxiety-inducing because given the demographic of people there, there are plenty of students that like to focus class attention on themselves; you have the "this is 13th grade yo" crowd who treat school like a joke and dick around in class, you have the "I have to get an A++ to get into Nursing School" Stacey who raises her hand for every question, and the professors in general are more light-hearted because the standards they have to uphold is lower, from my experience. Stuff like that. So if you want to go to class and just sit in the back and absorb enough information to pass classes, you can do so pretty easily unless you have a class like Public Speaking or a language class, in which case you can just approach the professor on the first day and let them know how uncomfortable you are with this type of stuff, and they will grade you on your own scale pretty much. Any professor you don't like, you can often just switch to a different section with little hassle even a few weeks into the semester. At least, that's been my experience. If you have an interest in pursuing an education and a particular job, and have a good CC in your area, I strongly recommend it.

As for grinding Math 101s, that shit was terrible for me. I had taken Calculus in high school and got AP credits for it, so I couldn't take any math lower than that... almost 10 years after my last math lesson. That was brutal, but honestly it is much easier to remember things that you've learned before than it is to learn it from scratch, so it shouldn't be too bad. As I mentioned before, professors are very lenient and are used to working WITH the students to make sure they get an A. In general, professors WANT to give you an A, because it reflects well on them, which in turn means there is a higher chance for them getting tenure or moving to a better university. In many subjects like English you can take all or almost all of your requirements online, which is very much in line with what I imagine to be the average incel lifestyle. Although they often have more work and deadlines, they also give you the luxury of never leaving your house and using various internet resources while completing your work. It makes socialization (many classes had a mandatory forum component) much more about the merit of your thoughts rather than your appearance, which is a relief for me and I imagine other incels.

I've always had a small circle of nerdy friends, 1-2 at a time (2 in middle school, 2 in high school, 2 in pre-college/college). This definitely helped me feel better about myself, but in the end I feel like they also detracted from my productivity (at least the latter group did) because we just did drugs and drank all day while playing video games. I think that I started performing much better after I moved out of the house I shared with them and some other people and made it out on my own. I would have to give a lot of credit to an online community I am a long-time member of; I was an organizer for a lot of things there, and a relatively prominent poster in a specific sub-section of their forums, which really gave me a decent amount of validation for who I am intellectually in the confines of that community/field at least. Pursuing various online programs and extra-curriculars (certifications and such) that I could add to my resume, getting praise from professors for work well done, etc. gave me enough motivation and support to forge onward IMO.


fukmylyf said:
I agree tbh

Thank you for your feedback and contribution to the topic at hand.
 
blickpall said:
If you really want to do well in college, what you have to do is leave all your baggage at the door when you enter class on the first day. What this means is that whoever you are outside the classroom and at home, that shit stays at home; in class you are a student first and foremost. Think of it as clocking in for a job. I don't use my laptop or my cellphone in class because I know that I will just compulsively not pay attention and distract myself. I write everything the teacher says down like a stenographer. I raise my hands once per class to keep participating and make a good impression, which often pays off when you need something from the professor (help, extension on assignment, etc.). When you get home you have to do your work first, and then browse forums or play vidya or whatever you waste time on. As soon as I accepted these things, my life became much easier. I dicked around in community college for years, doing mad drugs and partying and thinking I could just skate by in class and homework, but that always led to school becoming the last priority and thus nothing getting done. You need to make it your first priority and suck it up. Whenever I'd lay in bed not doing anything, I'd say to myself, "boohoo, look at this crybaby, perfectly capable of doing what is required of him but too lazy and depressed to do anything," and that kind of self-pity disgusted me and forced me to get up and do something.

Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.

Usually these kinds of posts are full of shit but this is good advice OP. Listen well and survive it. That is my goal, to survive it.
 
Morf12 said:
Thanks for the detailed response. You sound a bit like me with the "depressed useless druggie". I guess what's stopping me from going back is the social anxiety that as build up after 5 years of LDARing and the thought of going to community college at mid 20's sucks. At the very least my community college is tool considered to be one of the best around in my entire region. That and still having to grind through the Math 101s which at this point I'll suck hard at. I always had an idea of what I'd like to do after college, it's not really a dream but a simple middle class job that will earn me decent money. Did you do all this by yourself as a social outvast or did you at least have some support from a social group?

I was also unemployed, talked with the people in that unemployed office you have to go here when you're unemployed, and now I go to university. It's pretty hard, tbh, after two semesters I started prematurely graying and already have distinctive white streaks at the side of my hair now. My grades are all pretty good tho and I get along very well with the professors, because for me, given the social anxiety and everything, I CALM DOWN once the actual class starts and we have to talk and answer questions etc. I feel stressed out BEFORE the class, when I have to engage in small talk etc. or during group works. But during the "real" classes I am totally calm, because then it's only about the topics and nothing else matters. I actually feel better during semesters than during breaks, tho, because I have less time to think about other things.
 
Red Shambhala said:
I was also unemployed, talked with the people in that unemployed office you have to go here when you're unemployed, and now I go to university. It's pretty hard, tbh, after two semesters I started prematurely graying and already have distinctive white streaks at the side of my hair now. My grades are all pretty good tho and I get along very well with the professors, because for me, given the social anxiety and everything, I CALM DOWN once the actual class starts and we have to talk and answer questions etc. I feel stressed out BEFORE the class, when I have to engage in small talk etc. or during group works. But during the "real" classes I am totally calm, because then it's only about the topics and nothing else matters. I actually feel better during semesters than during breaks, tho, because I have less time to think about other things.

This is a great point. Especially in classes that are STEM where the focus is almost entirely extrinsic to the self, it is like an out-of-body experience in a sense.
 
blickpall said:
This is a great point. Especially in classes that are STEM where the focus is almost entirely extrinsic to the self, it is like an out-of-body experience in a sense.

Yes. If anyone else here is in a similar position, I would TOTALLY recommend a "dry" topic. Not only because these tend to be the ones that result in higher chances on the job market (although you could also become, say, a teacher for politics and English) but also because they are FAR better for people with anxiety issues and with opinions that are ... well, not, err, really ... accepted by the mainstream.  
:D
 
blickpall said:
I completely relate with the anxiety and LDAR. I'm lucky in that I look up to 10 years younger than I actually am because of babyface and juvenile haircut that I use to cover up my flaws, so most people didn't suspect that I was older than them by many years. Most in-class situations weren't really anxiety-inducing because given the demographic of people there, there are plenty of students that like to focus class attention on themselves; you have the "this is 13th grade yo" crowd who treat school like a joke and dick around in class, you have the "I have to get an A++ to get into Nursing School" Stacey who raises her hand for every question, and the professors in general are more light-hearted because the standards they have to uphold is lower, from my experience. Stuff like that. So if you want to go to class and just sit in the back and absorb enough information to pass classes, you can do so pretty easily unless you have a class like Public Speaking or a language class, in which case you can just approach the professor on the first day and let them know how uncomfortable you are with this type of stuff, and they will grade you on your own scale pretty much. Any professor you don't like, you can often just switch to a different section with little hassle even a few weeks into the semester. At least, that's been my experience. If you have an interest in pursuing an education and a particular job, and have a good CC in your area, I strongly recommend it.

As for grinding Math 101s, that shit was terrible for me. I had taken Calculus in high school and got AP credits for it, so I couldn't take any math lower than that... almost 10 years after my last math lesson. That was brutal, but honestly it is much easier to remember things that you've learned before than it is to learn it from scratch, so it shouldn't be too bad. As I mentioned before, professors are very lenient and are used to working WITH the students to make sure they get an A. In general, professors WANT to give you an A, because it reflects well on them, which in turn means there is a higher chance for them getting tenure or moving to a better university. In many subjects like English you can take all or almost all of your requirements online, which is very much in line with what I imagine to be the average incel lifestyle. Although they often have more work and deadlines, they also give you the luxury of never leaving your house and using various internet resources while completing your work. It makes socialization (many classes had a mandatory forum component) much more about the merit of your thoughts rather than your appearance, which is a relief for me and I imagine other incels.

I've always had a small circle of nerdy friends, 1-2 at a time (2 in middle school, 2 in high school, 2 in pre-college/college). This definitely helped me feel better about myself, but in the end I feel like they also detracted from my productivity (at least the latter group did) because we just did drugs and drank all day while playing video games. I think that I started performing much better after I moved out of the house I shared with them and some other people and made it out on my own. I would have to give a lot of credit to an online community I am a long-time member of; I was an organizer for a lot of things there, and a relatively prominent poster in a specific sub-section of their forums, which really gave me a decent amount of validation for who I am intellectually in the confines of that community/field at least. Pursuing various online programs and extra-curriculars (certifications and such) that I could add to my resume, getting praise from professors for work well done, etc. gave me enough motivation and support to forge onward IMO.



Thank you for your feedback and contribution to the topic at hand.

You're not the only one who looks much younger than they really are and has a baby face (check my most recent thread lol). Nonetheless thanks for the advice I'll keep it all in mind if I ever do go back. Although I remember one of the things that I hated most about being around college students is the feeling that would encumber me of wanting to have friends, social groups, and interaction in general from my peers as I spent time around college alone and seeing social activity.
 
Morf12 said:
You're not the only one who looks much younger than they really are and has a baby face (check my most recent thread lol). Nonetheless thanks for the advice I'll keep it all in mind if I ever do go back. Although I remember one of the things that I hated most about being around college students is the feeling that would encumber me of wanting to have friends, social groups, and interaction in general from my peers as I spent time around college alone and seeing social activity.

That's a possibility, but at community college I found that people are not only more friendly and talkative (especially in common areas) but many of them were also not the type of person I would normally get along with so it was high opportunity low pressure. Hopefully you have more of the former and less of the latter when the time comes. Cheers.
 
blickpall said:
If you really want to do well in college, what you have to do is leave all your baggage at the door when you enter class on the first day. What this means is that whoever you are outside the classroom and at home, that shit stays at home; in class you are a student first and foremost. Think of it as clocking in for a job. I don't use my laptop or my cellphone in class because I know that I will just compulsively not pay attention and distract myself. I write everything the teacher says down like a stenographer. I raise my hands once per class to keep participating and make a good impression, which often pays off when you need something from the professor (help, extension on assignment, etc.). When you get home you have to do your work first, and then browse forums or play vidya or whatever you waste time on. As soon as I accepted these things, my life became much easier. I dicked around in community college for years, doing mad drugs and partying and thinking I could just skate by in class and homework, but that always led to school becoming the last priority and thus nothing getting done. You need to make it your first priority and suck it up. Whenever I'd lay in bed not doing anything, I'd say to myself, "boohoo, look at this crybaby, perfectly capable of doing what is required of him but too lazy and depressed to do anything," and that kind of self-pity disgusted me and forced me to get up and do something.

Now that I am in the latter stages of education in uni, I have regressed a little bit simply due to the large amount of pressure on me (we've talked about this before), but it is almost a survival mode at this point. For you, just starting out on low tier classes, you have the chance to establish the good habits which can at least get you to a bachelor's. Good luck fam.
That's some good advice, brother.

I also find that doing important shit first before doing useless shit also worked for me.

Anyways, whats your major? And what degree are you doing? Undergrad? Or Postgrad?
 
idkwattodowithlife said:
That's some good advice, brother.

I also find that doing important shit first before doing useless shit also worked for me.

Anyways, whats your major? And what degree are you doing? Undergrad? Or Postgrad?

It's hard to get into the swing of it, especially if you are a compulsive procrastinator or compulsive person in general, but once you set the routine and get accustomed to it I found it relatively easy to follow (up until recently). Thank you.

I don't feel comfortable specifying because what I am doing now is pretty specific and in conjunction with some of the other information I've posted would lead me to easily getting doxxed. I am in graduate school pursuing a Ph.D.
 
blickpall said:
It's hard to get into the swing of it, especially if you are a compulsive procrastinator or compulsive person in general, but once you set the routine and get accustomed to it I found it relatively easy to follow (up until recently). Thank you.

I don't feel comfortable specifying because what I am doing now is pretty specific and in conjunction with some of the other information I've posted would lead me to easily getting doxxed. I am in graduate school pursuing a Ph.D.

"[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]compulsive procrastinator "[/font]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Yeah that describes me as well but I almost expect this to be normal to any true incel who has had a terrible life in terms of social experiences. Especially if they've LDAR'd/NEETcel'd for years. I think I'd have to get prescribed adderall before I get back into school. Anyways thanks for all the advice on this thread. [/font]
 
Morf12 said:
"[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]compulsive procrastinator "[/font]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Yeah that describes me as well but I almost expect this to be normal to any true incel who has had a terrible life in terms of social experiences. Especially if they've LDAR'd/NEETcel'd for years. I think I'd have to get prescribed adderall before I get back into school. Anyways thanks for all the advice on this thread. [/font]

No problem! One last thought: I don't recommend getting adderall just for school. It's not something you want to use as a crutch if you can avoid it.
 
blickpall said:
No problem! One last thought: I don't recommend getting adderall just for school. It's not something you want to use as a crutch if you can avoid it.

I've never taken addy but how does it work. It's used for specific situations right and not daily use like say SSRIs? (I'm currently on lexapro if you've ever heard of that one). Do you have any situations on dealing with ADHD/frequent procrastination? You're right about wanting to avoid crutches. I learned that the hard way using acohol  as a crutch for speech/language classes which ended up pushing me to drop out.
 
Morf12 said:
I've never taken addy but how does it work. It's used for specific situations right and not daily use like say SSRIs? (I'm currently on lexapro if you've ever heard of that one). Do you have any situations on dealing with ADHD/frequent procrastination? You're right about wanting to avoid crutches. I learned that the hard way using acohol  as a crutch for speech/language classes which ended up pushing me to drop out.

It's supposed to be taken daily by people who have ADHD. To put it simply, it floods your brain with dopamine and norepinephrine, so it makes people who don't have ADHD (you can't self-diagnose by the way) in a great mood and potentially hyper. It's basically motivation in a pill, but only if you direct yourself to the task at hand. One time that I tried to use it to study for an exam, I spent 6 hours reading about dinosaurs on Wikipedia and got nothing done, for example. The issue with taking adderall beyond the fact that you begin to create the association of doing things you don't feel like doing with it (and therefore, making it progressively harder to do those things without the adderall after every time you use it for that purpose), habitual use leads to a depletion of your dopamine and norepinephrine and because you artificially stimulate the production of them with adderall, your brain begins to stop producing as much naturally. The long-term side-effects of adderall are just now being realized to their full extent and it's pretty scary stuff. People are also saying that it is basically meth lite but I haven't looked into those claims thoroughly enough to confirm or deny that and I am not a chemist.

I was/am a rampant procrastinator, the only advice I can give on that besides only doing things that make you money/you are interested in is what I already posted in this thread earlier.
 
Red Shambhala said:
blickpall said:
This is a great point. Especially in classes that are STEM where the focus is almost entirely extrinsic to the self, it is like an out-of-body experience in a sense.
Yes. If anyone else here is in a similar position, I would TOTALLY recommend a "dry" topic. Not only because these tend to be the ones that result in higher chances on the job market (although you could also become, say, a teacher for politics and English) but also because they are FAR better for people with anxiety issues and with opinions that are ... well, not, err, really ... accepted by the mainstream.
:D
If you have unconventional opinions, don't study "soft sciences" or literature, even if you have a natural talent for writing. You'll have to put ten times as much effort to make sure your arguments in a dissertation are politically correct and you'll hate most of what you study / your teachers / classmates / yourself. All my incel friends who studied history-geography or philosophy had a mental breakdown at some point and can't even succeed at the State exam to become a teacher due to crippling depression and hatred of the subject.

Personally despite sucking at math, I think I will be going back to college next year to study biology and hopefully major in genetic research.
 
Red Shambhala said:
blickpall said:
This is a great point. Especially in classes that are STEM where the focus is almost entirely extrinsic to the self, it is like an out-of-body experience in a sense.
Yes. If anyone else here is in a similar position, I would TOTALLY recommend a "dry" topic. Not only because these tend to be the ones that result in higher chances on the job market (although you could also become, say, a teacher for politics and English) but also because they are FAR better for people with anxiety issues and with opinions that are ... well, not, err, really ... accepted by the mainstream.
:D

If you have unconventional opinions, don't study "soft sciences" or literature, even if you have a natural talent for writing. You'll have to put ten times as much effort to make sure your arguments in a dissertation are politically correct and you'll hate most of what you study / your teachers / classmates / yourself. All my incel friends who studied history-geography or philosophy had a mental breakdown at some point and can't even succeed at the State exam to become a teacher due to crippling depression and hatred of the subject.

Personally despite sucking at math, I think I will be going back to college next year to study biology and hopefully major in genetic research.
 
Fontaine said:
All my incel friends who studied history-geography or philosophy had a mental breakdown at some point and can't even succeed at the State exam to become a teacher due to crippling depression and hatred of the subject.

Yeah. Although, generally speaking, this is increasingly true for all of the economy and the workforce in general. I've read from so many STEMcels who are suffering under their feminist HR department. Once there are women and their cucks, you will run into problems eventually. And being self-employed is getting harder by the day. The monopolized capital is devouring everything, and everything is now turning into what are essentially chain stores, where you're not self-employed but a "manager" in a uniform at best. 

Even the profession of the doctor is getting destroyed now and doctors not only brought to a point where they simply cannot afford anymore to open an individual office (it's always three or four doctors sharing one office), but also regularly sent to "advanced trainings" and "further education" seminaries, where they are forced to learn about feminism and "harassment" and shit like that.
 
I dropped out before I could complete this (
View: https://i.imgur.com/arqe7HV.png
) but there's no way in hell I'm doing it if it's still there when I get back. It is fucking ridiculous how I turn 18 and people are suddenly asking me "what my plan is." Especially getting that from my mother. She should know best of all how ill-prepared I am for anything since she did the shitty job of raising me, but the same retardation that made her a shitty parent in the first place prevents her from seeing this. She says the most banal shit with lines straight out of the shitty tv shows she watches all day no matter how the situation differs from the norm. Like telling me to "get a job," as if that's something I can just do, or asking me "what my plan is" as if someone like me could possibly have plans for the future. Like she would fucking know if I had some great ambitions right? I might as well not be her son, since if I was she would know that her questions are fucking ridiculous. I guess I can't blame her for being an aspie, but fuck that I can. She should never have had kids. I was bred like a rat and not given a second thought after I was shat out of her uterus. I wasn't raised by her besides her providing the essentials for survival. And some people tell me I should be grateful for that. Just lol.

I hope I can at least survive this semester but like with everything I am thoroughly pessimistic. Even being pessimistic it may turn out worse than I expected, because no matter how rock bottom low my expectation are, I still have some hope hidden underneath that I can't suppress. Last semester I couldn't even keep up with my classes, and while that may have been due to my adviser fucking me over and telling me to take two of the hardest classes at the same time, my motivation has been shattered and my willingness to give up and fail bolstered. I don't know if I can make it even with easier classes. I will have to take the easiest ones I can and just ease into it. I don't know why I have such trouble with everything. Other people don't seem to worry and get over things easily that are a major crisis for me. I've observed this my entire life. People are bemused by my problems.

Correct. I agree with this high IQ thread. Very well made.
 
Just get a job. For me it has always been super easy to get a job. Keeping it is the hard part.
 

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