When I take everything about myself into account, it makes me realize from a mental standpoint I have more in common with a prepubescent teenager than somebody my age, and from a physical standpoint I have more in common with a middle aged cel than somebody my age.
in regards to my mental state, bullying, ostracization, and inceldom are the 3 main things i believe to be the main reason why my brain never had a chance to develop beyond the age of 12. as a matter of fact, i have never made an actual friend in my entire life. also due to a lack of exposure to different things and situations, i never had very many opportunities in my life on the basis of my looks, hence i feel like a 12 year old mentally.
and as for the current physical state of my body, i have had back pain that started about a year ago and it has absolutely destroyed me. every other hour of the day i am in pain, some days worse than the others. it is to the point where i cant even rot in comfort, ive tried doing some exercises to correct this bullshit lingering pain but to no avail. the only times when i am at peace and not in pain is when i am asleep (and my sleep quality is dogshit anyway). also my face has more in common with an oldcel than it does with my peers. i have had dark circles my entire life and i have had very prominent nasolabial folds since i was 14, which i believe is due to a combination of poor forward growth and collagen depletion (which is confusing because i dont get any sunlight whatsoever other than when i am forced to leave the house for whatever reason). my “youth” ended before it even started, i never had a fucking chance
for these reasons i feel like a giga youngcel mentally, but an oldcel physically, which ultimately makes me feel like a subhuman alien.
in regards to my mental state, bullying, ostracization, and inceldom are the 3 main things i believe to be the main reason why my brain never had a chance to develop beyond the age of 12. as a matter of fact, i have never made an actual friend in my entire life. also due to a lack of exposure to different things and situations, i never had very many opportunities in my life on the basis of my looks, hence i feel like a 12 year old mentally.
and as for the current physical state of my body, i have had back pain that started about a year ago and it has absolutely destroyed me. every other hour of the day i am in pain, some days worse than the others. it is to the point where i cant even rot in comfort, ive tried doing some exercises to correct this bullshit lingering pain but to no avail. the only times when i am at peace and not in pain is when i am asleep (and my sleep quality is dogshit anyway). also my face has more in common with an oldcel than it does with my peers. i have had dark circles my entire life and i have had very prominent nasolabial folds since i was 14, which i believe is due to a combination of poor forward growth and collagen depletion (which is confusing because i dont get any sunlight whatsoever other than when i am forced to leave the house for whatever reason). my “youth” ended before it even started, i never had a fucking chance
for these reasons i feel like a giga youngcel mentally, but an oldcel physically, which ultimately makes me feel like a subhuman alien.
