Watching my mom leave my dad and then watching him LDAR made me apathetic. I got blackpilled pretty young realizing he wasn't good-looking, but seeing him still hope he could get his flirtatious advances reciprocated, and always shut down.
My dad was my original blackpill about the present society's absolute ruthlessness toward working-class average-looking guys: they're worthless and need to die out. Occasionally they'll get some drunk sex without a condom that doesn't get aborted for some reason, usually with a desperate woman that wants some identity as a mother and a meal ticket reason of "raising a child", and thus comes along us.
Then she'll leave, somewhere around society telling her she could've done better than him, or seeing "better than him" on TV, the internet, friends Facebooks, Instagram and tinder nowadays and the option there "need my space" aka need space to be a cumdumpster for Chads, and the state can just take care of her, so she doesn't need to stay.
These thoughts make me more reckless with my life. I have no qualms about drugs and motorcycles, for every day to attempt to live "normal" - with family, vacations, the adoration of women in at least the status of able to get a girlfriend - would be more existential dread in the understanding we all share here that it is futile, that the Tinder/Instagram age reserves the capacity for women to be truly adoring to a man and to be loyal, to only the few lucky strokes of fate, and, all of that, I couldn't endure anyways.
In other words, if I'm mangled to death in a motorcycle accident, or my organs start to fail from frivolity with my health, I could care less. I'll end it if it were ever too bad to continue living on the edge.
Still, my father was no hero. He was still bluepilled and hopefully chasing and being rejected to the bitter end. The only type of man I can admire in modern times - men like me - is someone like Houellebecq. His novels are novels for Incels.