SuicideFuel How YEARS of teenage isolation made me LOVE seeing the world BURN

[Oldcel_Narutofan]

(Age13-19)
All day i’m sitting alone. 8 hours a day, every day man! Fuck. Those years destroyed me. Sitting by myself while the boys in my class all huddled together in the table next to me every morning. Damn! Fuck, that was hell. Worst part of my life. That was Noxious shit. For years and years and years. I thought it would never end. That shit numbed the fuck out of me mentally. No one would talk to me no nothing. Some girls would stare at me which pissed me off. There was this 4 foot bengali pajeeta who would glare at me for some weird reason. Like i was some filth she wished didn’t exist. The old me would’ve bashed her head in.

Obviously as I grew up, I realised there were many guys stronger than me and couldn’t afford to do that lest some 6,2 Simp tackled me out of some whack male-slave instinct.

Anyway that decade of total social rejection is why i rip through million word fan-fictions, horror stories, in a week. Escapism has been my lifestyle ever since that noxious gnarly experience at school. I dont even wanna think about what i could “Learn” from my mistakes. I’m jobless till this day age25 cause i feel so awkward even being alive in public. Any scenario with more than one person takes my brain right back to the classroom setting, which was my worst Hell. Not mainly because of bullying. But mostly being completely invisible and ignored and excluded. i did Advanced Mathematics in my school and there were like 10 of us in total

I tried following some of them on instagram after school ended, got rejected by all of them. Sigh.

Male friendship is chad only?

I just Dont fucking know why i suck at socialising so hard man. Is it race, accent? I think so.

I have a very pajeetlike accent btw.

Looksmaxxing, primal diet,

Everything i’m “into” now has irs roots in social rejection.

Supposedly, Adolf Hitler wrote in meinkampf he believed when he went through so much struggle, contrary to the common saying that it builds empathy, it actually kills empathy.

I can relate to that so deeply.

I feel like i&?3 seen some of the most horrible shit inflicted on me for ten years and i cannot unsee this side of human nature. I have a general hatred that extends to all people, not specifically t the ones responsible because i know the social principles of lookism, racism, accent-ism guide all people’s behaviour, and people really are all the same. Seen one Homo “Sapien” seen em all.

I was a very young kid and not one person reached out to me in ten years.

I’ll continue to celebrate every school-shooter, terrorist, war all that type of shit. I Feel slightly soothed when i heard some 175 girls at an Iranian school got bombed. Hopefully more people keep dying. Love that war shit. I will be cheering from my basement as I pull up another naruto fanfiction on fanfiction.net hahahaha.

Though Hopefully I can climb out of my damaged thinking and re-integrate into society before its too late.

Maybe i have a small amount of empathy for fellow cels but deep down i know i wont be able to befriend any of you either. I am Always on the outside. i’m not in anyone’s group chat. no one will ever tag my name in their post etc.

 

[Qech__]

It's exhausting always having a "me vs. them" mindset. Never end up having anybody on your side. You're all alone and need to make you way through life that way.

 

[Qech__]

Also I know I'm one to talk but wtf is your gay pfp

 

[Aventador]

Read every word.

Its very difficult to grow up during puberty, and experience the world alone.
Even though i did had some friends in that time, I mostly felt alone in this.

I don't want to say any words of encourgement or to gaslighting you that life is fair and good.

I will say that you aren't alone in this, we are all fucked up to a differing degrees. Sometimes, it's the only comfort that pushes me through.

 

[Oldcel_Narutofan]

Also I know I'm one to talk but wtf is your gay pfp

Lmao

 

[Oldcel_Narutofan]

Read every word.

Its very difficult to grow up during puberty, and experience the world alone.
Even though i did had some friends in that time, I mostly felt alone in this.

I don't want to say any words of encourgement or to gaslighting you that life is fair and good.

I will say that you aren't alone in this, we are all fucked up to a differing degrees. Sometimes, it's the only comfort that pushes me through.

Thank u bro
Its bleak but rotting over it’s useless too.

 

[Wither]

Maybe i have a small amount of empathy for fellow cels but deep down i know i wont be able to befriend any of you either. I am Always on the outside. i’m not in anyone’s group chat. no one will ever tag my name in their post etc.

if you want to talk I’m here cuz I feel the same way

 

[BoredWolf]

(Age13-19)
All day i’m sitting alone. 8 hours a day, every day man! Fuck. Those years destroyed me. Sitting by myself while the boys in my class all huddled together in the table next to me every morning. Damn! Fuck, that was hell. Worst part of my life. That was Noxious shit. For years and years and years. I thought it would never end. That shit numbed the fuck out of me mentally. No one would talk to me no nothing. Some girls would stare at me which pissed me off. There was this 4 foot bengali pajeeta who would glare at me for some weird reason. Like i was some filth she wished didn’t exist. The old me would’ve bashed her head in.

Obviously as I grew up, I realised there were many guys stronger than me and couldn’t afford to do that lest some 6,2 Simp tackled me out of some whack male-slave instinct.

Anyway that decade of total social rejection is why i rip through million word fan-fictions, horror stories, in a week. Escapism has been my lifestyle ever since that noxious gnarly experience at school. I dont even wanna think about what i could “Learn” from my mistakes. I’m jobless till this day age25 cause i feel so awkward even being alive in public. Any scenario with more than one person takes my brain right back to the classroom setting, which was my worst Hell. Not mainly because of bullying. But mostly being completely invisible and ignored and excluded. i did Advanced Mathematics in my school and there were like 10 of us in total

I tried following some of them on instagram after school ended, got rejected by all of them. Sigh.

Male friendship is chad only?

I just Dont fucking know why i suck at socialising so hard man. Is it race, accent? I think so.

I have a very pajeetlike accent btw.

Looksmaxxing, primal diet,

Everything i’m “into” now has irs roots in social rejection.

Supposedly, Adolf Hitler wrote in meinkampf he believed when he went through so much struggle, contrary to the common saying that it builds empathy, it actually kills empathy.

I can relate to that so deeply.

I feel like i&?3 seen some of the most horrible shit inflicted on me for ten years and i cannot unsee this side of human nature. I have a general hatred that extends to all people, not specifically t the ones responsible because i know the social principles of lookism, racism, accent-ism guide all people’s behaviour, and people really are all the same. Seen one Homo “Sapien” seen em all.

I was a very young kid and not one person reached out to me in ten years.

I’ll continue to celebrate every school-shooter, terrorist, war all that type of shit. I Feel slightly soothed when i heard some 175 girls at an Iranian school got bombed. Hopefully more people keep dying. Love that war shit. I will be cheering from my basement as I pull up another naruto fanfiction on fanfiction.net hahahaha.

Though Hopefully I can climb out of my damaged thinking and re-integrate into society before its too late.

Maybe i have a small amount of empathy for fellow cels but deep down i know i wont be able to befriend any of you either. I am Always on the outside. i’m not in anyone’s group chat. no one will ever tag my name in their post etc.

High school is always rough ,it’s even tougher if you’re short ,ugly or neurodivergent.For men the world can be cruel, ruthless and callous and can be absolute hell if you are sub 5 and Incel.To be fair I would tag you in my post.I wouldt tell you to ignore your traumas the only advice I can give is to move forward ,dont follow anyone from your high school days and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other,focus on your strengths you seem to have a high iq judging by the information you presented so use that to learn a skill to a good degree so you can give yourself a good life and fuck all those people back from hs leave even the thoughts of them in the dust.Best Wishes ,take care