Jesus is supposed to be god and god never lies according to Christians and the bible is god's perfect word. In many places in the bible, Jesus promises to answer prayers. For example:
in Matthew 7:7 Jesus says:
In Matthew 17:20 Jesus reiterates that same message:
So the next steps are simple:
Before you go to bed tonight, pray that when you awake in the morning that you will be Chad (or Tyrone or Chang or whatever). Say this prayer:
"Dear Jesus, I pray that when I awaken tomorrow morning that I will be a 6 foot tall, hyper neurotypical, muscular Chad with a jawline that can cut diamonds and chiseled cheekbone. I have faith knowing that you will bless me as described in Matthew 7:7, Matthew 17:20, Mark 11:24 and St. John 14:12-14. Amen"
When you awaken in the morning, you will be Chad. Now go forth and slay.
in Matthew 7:7 Jesus says:
- Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
In Matthew 17:20 Jesus reiterates that same message:
- For truly, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
- I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
- Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
- "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son; if you ask anything in my name, I will do it.
- Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
So the next steps are simple:
Before you go to bed tonight, pray that when you awake in the morning that you will be Chad (or Tyrone or Chang or whatever). Say this prayer:
"Dear Jesus, I pray that when I awaken tomorrow morning that I will be a 6 foot tall, hyper neurotypical, muscular Chad with a jawline that can cut diamonds and chiseled cheekbone. I have faith knowing that you will bless me as described in Matthew 7:7, Matthew 17:20, Mark 11:24 and St. John 14:12-14. Amen"
When you awaken in the morning, you will be Chad. Now go forth and slay.
