war_with_myself
Self-banned
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- Joined
- Jul 10, 2022
- Posts
- 5,613
First off, it should be made clear that therapy DOES NOT solve your inceldom (water of course). Therapy can be potentially beneficial, in that it
helps you gain new perspectives and gives you the tools to cope with the problem more effectively. This is the whole point of therapy.
Second, there is a gender difference in how problems are solved. Men's brain have evolved to be problem solving, whereas women's brain are wired to seek relationships. This is why women typically seek and recommend therapy to deal with their problems, because therapy allows them to feel heard, validated, and even loved.
Now here lies the problem: If men go to therapy to learn to cope with the problem, and not directly addressing their problem, this works against their nature and can condition them to a type of learned helplessness; since the problem has not been addressed and the problem persists. They are merely coping with the problem, not fixing it. They are effectively learning to live with the problem, rather then attacking the problem head on.
Symptoms of learned helplessness includes:
Now, this is purely speculation, as I am not too versed on human psychology, but if my theory that "therapy can lead to learned helplessness" holds, then therapy can be dangerous to any incel that seeks to change their ways.
Furthermore, there are other ways therapy can make things worse, such as:
helps you gain new perspectives and gives you the tools to cope with the problem more effectively. This is the whole point of therapy.
Second, there is a gender difference in how problems are solved. Men's brain have evolved to be problem solving, whereas women's brain are wired to seek relationships. This is why women typically seek and recommend therapy to deal with their problems, because therapy allows them to feel heard, validated, and even loved.
Now here lies the problem: If men go to therapy to learn to cope with the problem, and not directly addressing their problem, this works against their nature and can condition them to a type of learned helplessness; since the problem has not been addressed and the problem persists. They are merely coping with the problem, not fixing it. They are effectively learning to live with the problem, rather then attacking the problem head on.
Symptoms of learned helplessness includes:
- feeling a lack of control over the outcome of situations
- failing to ask for help
- having low self-esteem
- decreased motivation
- putting less effort into tasks
- lack of persistence
- feelings of frustration
- passivity
- giving up easily
Now, this is purely speculation, as I am not too versed on human psychology, but if my theory that "therapy can lead to learned helplessness" holds, then therapy can be dangerous to any incel that seeks to change their ways.
Furthermore, there are other ways therapy can make things worse, such as:
- being used as a guinea pig for their pet theories,
- therapist that holds judgement against you, are preachy, talk about themselves too much, and/or give too much ineffective direct advice. This can give you a bad impression of therapy, and turn you off from finding an actual good therapist.
- reliving trauma
- if you received bad therapy, you can feel frustrated, regret, depressed, etc; you were better before going to therapy because you feel worse after the session
- f you had bad experiences with therapy, being recommended therapy can be triggering
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