I think about it all the time, and I lament the fact that I was ever born. But now that I'm here, I wish to stay alive forever. Heaven for me would be a place of infinite possibility. I believe the core of lasting human happiness lies in endless possibilities. Failure wouldn't exist other than in the moment; the past loses its weight, and death wouldn't exist. That's the condition it would take for me to be truly happy. I fantasize about my reaction to entering such a condition. All anxieties, all regret, and all dread would melt away, and true peace and happiness could finally be achieved. That's just my afterlife fantasy. I also believe that meaning is downstream from life. The meaning of life is life, therefore death is what makes life meaningless. Meaning is a concept in your head that cannot exist if you're dead. A meaning for a finite life is incomprehensible, and what does that meaning matter if you don't exist to have knowledge of it? Sure, I suffer, and life has sucked and does suck in so many ways, but suffering is preferable to death, which makes all suffering in the present and past meaningless.