I am a 40-year-old virgin Asian guy. In my workplace, I'm often called ugly by other employees. Let me share some examples:
- There was a male employee who I personally thought was the ugliest and least appealing, but I once overheard another male boss, A, comparing me to him and telling someone else that there wasn't much difference between our appearances.
- When I was in my 30s, a male boss B in his 50s jokingly yet seriously told a female colleague on the same team that he looked better than me.
- Female employee A always jokingly tells me that I'm ugly when we're alone and says that the best-looking part of my face is my ears.
- Female employee B openly criticized me, asking why I wasn't as good-looking as another male colleague in a different department who started around the same time as me.
- Female employee C insulted me by comparing me to some ugly animal (I can't remember which) while in a café with others. She looked up the animal on her phone and showed it to the others, making everyone laugh.
- and so on.
These incidents have happened so frequently that I started wondering just how unattractive I really am. So, I logged onto Omegle to randomly show people my face. One person gave me a 2 out of 5, and another, after seeing my face, suddenly showed me his own and pretended to be concerned, exclaiming, "Wow, that's serious."
The truth is, no matter how handsome my face might be, the bigger problem is that my erect size is only 3.6 inches long, and I have no idea how I could satisfy girls with that. Because of this, I've become increasingly addicted to porn, and even now, at 40, I've never kissed a woman or had sex. In my teens, I was bullied a lot by classmates because they thought I looked weak. I kept thinking things would get better in my 20s, but finally, here I am now. After 30 years of masturbating with my hand, I really want to try something different, so I'm thinking of buying a blow-up sex doll to get laid. I've seen videos on porn sites of men having sex with these dolls, and honestly, in my 20s, I never imagined that I would ever consider having sex with a doll. But now, I feel like I need to and like I can be truly satisfied by kissing and touching the doll. Also, I don't have much money to use an escort service. I also don't want to pay for sex, especially because my premature ejaculation, which I've attributed to watching too much porn, makes it seem like a waste of money.
I don't have any hope that my situation will improve in the future. It's over. Now, I'm going to have to search for some cheap blow-up dolls to get laid for the first time in my life.
