Yep I got it bad docs, started when we were kids on AIM and i didnt even know what she looked like I loved her personality first, luckily turned out she was actually a girl, and as cute as she was sweet. In covidtime she called me out of the blue after not talking for years (theres more but thats the gist of it) and we had a long distance relationship which seemed perfect, we talked all the time, had phone sex and we were gonna meet in a few weeks but she cheated, left right before our planned trip to a bunch of booked no-refund hotels (she paid most of it at least, wonder if she took her chad instead since she was locked into it, or just ate the cost), and now she's just another whore i'll never talk to again and I dont love her anymore but i miss how she made me feel, maybe someone else will embody that one day. Probably not, nothing really seems to matter anymore, my big dreams and ambitions mostly died with her, at least now I know what it was like and i can stop thinking about loving or even lusting her...but i cant stop thinking about her every day, and talking to her ghost at times. What if it did work out? What if we're just one timeline away from being together forever with the innocent girl I thought I knew most my life? Try to distract myself with everything else and work, but its still there in the back of my mind because i dont have anyone else to devote care to.
Looking back there were a couple signs I ignored that she wasn't really who i thought she was.