-Awake early at 4:30
-Take 3h long cold shower to improve my personality
-Put on some cologne from Versace (according to the reviews it's basically like pheromones). I spent $170 on it for a small bottle but everyone knows that having a strong scent of cedarwood and lime is essential to getting women.
-Comb my hair and apply Amazon forest-mist that gives a lustrous sheen. Hairstyles are extremely important to whether a girl likes you or not, as we all obviously know.
- Dress in a shirt from Christian Dior because how you dress as man is very important to women. Could you imagine a guy in a tracksuit attracting a woman? Would never happen!!
-Put on my 4-inch shoelifts, not because I think women care about height, they don't, they obviously see a 5'2 and 6'2 guy exactly the same, I just really need them to reach the top shelf at the grocery store (I'm getting tomato soup). So this point was kind of irrelevant to include.
- Then I'm going to put on my (fake) glasses because women love a smart guy (newsflash, they're all sapiosexual(look it up)).
- Then I'm going to go down to the local café and drink chailatte and (pretend) to read a book by feminist Simone Debeauvoir (if there's anything that gets women's ovaries going it's a man who can read and who cares about women's rights).
- Then, when I see a pretty woman with a bubbly energy comes into the café getting ready to order a scone or whatever I will gallantly intervene and say: "Please tell me you weren't going to pay for that, were you?". And I will pay for her and she will giggle and she will definitely want to join me at my table.
- Then I will tell her about the book I'm reading (the ChatGPT summary) and she will be so impressed that she will say: "wow, I didn't realize there was an intellectual feminist man in town, with glasses and all, and who smells like a Greek God, where have you been hiding?". Then I will say: "Sometimes the squirrel will only come out of the bush for the right acorn" and she will laugh and say: "I've never heard that one before!" and I will (lie) and say it's an ancient Chinese proverb.
- Then we will talk for 3 hours and I will validate her and only talk about myself when I have to, which is about 78% of the conversation, I will talk mostly about my trauma. Remember there is nothing more attractive than a man who is emotionally available. Women love men who are vulnerable. I might even sneak in a cheeky cry but none of my grandparents are dead yet so I have nothing to really be sad about. (I'm sure I'll have some material to draw from soon though 'cause gramps is 96 and has stage IV testicular cancer).
-When we're ready to leave I will say: "I've lost my number" and she will say (watch this part guys, this is truly Machiavellian): "Can I have yours?". And she will get my joke and laugh so hard she probably pees herself a little. Then she gives me her number.
BOOM GUYS! Now that's how you get a girl. All these inkwells are just way off. It's that easy. You just got to be charming and play your cards right and smell like the (nice part) of an airport.
Thinking of turning my "rizz" as the youngin's say it into an online course to help you with what helped me.
Sidenote: If any of you motherfuckers bring up looks I'm finna lose it! It doesn't matter if you look like the Elephant Man or Henry Cavill, follow this daily routine and you'll get a girlfriend faster than it takes to say: "waaaazzzzzuuuuup!"
Disclaimer: This post may have been written at 2:45 and I should have gone to bed hours ago.
-Take 3h long cold shower to improve my personality
-Put on some cologne from Versace (according to the reviews it's basically like pheromones). I spent $170 on it for a small bottle but everyone knows that having a strong scent of cedarwood and lime is essential to getting women.
-Comb my hair and apply Amazon forest-mist that gives a lustrous sheen. Hairstyles are extremely important to whether a girl likes you or not, as we all obviously know.
- Dress in a shirt from Christian Dior because how you dress as man is very important to women. Could you imagine a guy in a tracksuit attracting a woman? Would never happen!!
-Put on my 4-inch shoelifts, not because I think women care about height, they don't, they obviously see a 5'2 and 6'2 guy exactly the same, I just really need them to reach the top shelf at the grocery store (I'm getting tomato soup). So this point was kind of irrelevant to include.
- Then I'm going to put on my (fake) glasses because women love a smart guy (newsflash, they're all sapiosexual(look it up)).
- Then I'm going to go down to the local café and drink chailatte and (pretend) to read a book by feminist Simone Debeauvoir (if there's anything that gets women's ovaries going it's a man who can read and who cares about women's rights).
- Then, when I see a pretty woman with a bubbly energy comes into the café getting ready to order a scone or whatever I will gallantly intervene and say: "Please tell me you weren't going to pay for that, were you?". And I will pay for her and she will giggle and she will definitely want to join me at my table.
- Then I will tell her about the book I'm reading (the ChatGPT summary) and she will be so impressed that she will say: "wow, I didn't realize there was an intellectual feminist man in town, with glasses and all, and who smells like a Greek God, where have you been hiding?". Then I will say: "Sometimes the squirrel will only come out of the bush for the right acorn" and she will laugh and say: "I've never heard that one before!" and I will (lie) and say it's an ancient Chinese proverb.
- Then we will talk for 3 hours and I will validate her and only talk about myself when I have to, which is about 78% of the conversation, I will talk mostly about my trauma. Remember there is nothing more attractive than a man who is emotionally available. Women love men who are vulnerable. I might even sneak in a cheeky cry but none of my grandparents are dead yet so I have nothing to really be sad about. (I'm sure I'll have some material to draw from soon though 'cause gramps is 96 and has stage IV testicular cancer).
-When we're ready to leave I will say: "I've lost my number" and she will say (watch this part guys, this is truly Machiavellian): "Can I have yours?". And she will get my joke and laugh so hard she probably pees herself a little. Then she gives me her number.
BOOM GUYS! Now that's how you get a girl. All these inkwells are just way off. It's that easy. You just got to be charming and play your cards right and smell like the (nice part) of an airport.
Thinking of turning my "rizz" as the youngin's say it into an online course to help you with what helped me.
Sidenote: If any of you motherfuckers bring up looks I'm finna lose it! It doesn't matter if you look like the Elephant Man or Henry Cavill, follow this daily routine and you'll get a girlfriend faster than it takes to say: "waaaazzzzzuuuuup!"
Disclaimer: This post may have been written at 2:45 and I should have gone to bed hours ago.
