Serious How does one conquer shyness?

[UltraFayJr.]

For the longest time now, I’ve almost never felt comfortable in public. I feel So uncomfortable every time I walk, talk, an breathe.

Average things like going to the store, trying to socialize, and even family gatherings are made 100x times harder. People treat me like as if I have a mental disorder or something, and this has been going on ever since I was a kid. I’ve tried to act “normal” but even then I can’t get that stigma away from me.

Am I doomed for life? Is this an easy fix? I don’t know, I just wanna walk like I own the world like most people do. I wanna talk very confidentially and not passively. I’m tired of being nervous and sweating alot. How do I conquer shyness?

 

[Hail The Bloatlord]

I was very shy until I got a job in sales, I needed the job badly so I forced myself to become an outgoing mr. salesman. That was quite a ride that never fixed my hidden insecurities, but allowed me to be more comfortable in public.

 

[Deleted member]

by being a male model

 

[solcel]

lsd

 

[Ragellsaveus]

Seriously, take babysteps, join meetups, talk to people with the same interests as you in real life, then make excuses to start conversations with everybody, who doesn´t like a worm conversation after all?

 

[Deleted member 10124]

by being a male model

Seriously, take babysteps, join meetups, talk to people with the same interests as you in real life, then make excuses to start conversations with everybody, who doesn´t like a worm conversation after all?

 

[NEETAndTidy]

Alcohol

 

[khafail]

can't overcome it...it's over man. My social anxiety borders on selective mutism at this point. I find it best just keeping to myself in pursuit of avoiding the dreaded "WHY ARE YOU SOO QUIET DUDE". Fuckin normies

 

[KFT]

The only way to deal with this is to expose yourself to social situations. I know It's the worst thing for shy people , but it's the ONLY way you can improve it.

 

[SwordsmanAlt]

You can try being like user @uninstall and just cold approach people (though he's mostly just approaching foids via pickup game)

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

The only way to deal with this is to expose yourself to social situations. I know It's the worst thing for shy people , but it's the ONLY way you can improve it.

If only I could. But I feel like I can't. I don't know what to say to people randomly like those guys practicing mass cold approach.

 

[StaroRavager]

The only way to deal with this is to expose yourself to social situations. I know It's the worst thing for shy people , but it's the ONLY way you can improve it.

Alcohol

 

[Moustachcel]

I try it for years and it feels like there is no solution.

 

[UltraFayJr.]

can't overcome it...it's over man. My social anxiety borders on selective mutism at this point. I find it best just keeping to myself in pursuit of avoiding the dreaded "WHY ARE YOU SOO QUIET DUDE". Fuckin normies

Oh my gosh, I hate that phrase. They say that while putting me in the spot which in turn makes me more shy. Why do they wanna torture us?

 

[ordinaryotaku]

by being a male model

 

[khafail]

Oh my gosh, I hate that phrase. They say that while putting me in the spot which in turn makes me more shy. Why do they wanna torture us?

Exactly, can't stand that shit...soo embarrassing. Just Hikikomorimaxx and isolate yourself from everyone if possible. Only interact with others online imo...prevents a lot of potential awkward encounters

 

[VincentVanCope]

by being a male model

 

[non_factor]

I remember when I was trying to fix my shyness I just forced myself to talk to people and tried to prolong the conversations as much as possible.

I just realized this worked because I haven't felt felt shy for years now.

 

[KingOfRome]

can't overcome it...it's over man. My social anxiety borders on selective mutism at this point. I find it best just keeping to myself in pursuit of avoiding the dreaded "WHY ARE YOU SOO QUIET DUDE". Fuckin normies

Fakecel. True incels don't get that because everyone wants them to be quiet regardless of why.

 

[UltraFayJr.]

Fakecel. True incels don't get that because everyone wants them to be quiet regardless of why.

What?

 

[Hunter]

nofap

 

[KingOfRome]

What?

Nobody will ask a real incel why he's so quiet for a couple reasons, actually. One, they don't want to interact with him or encourage him to interact with others, both of which asking that question would do. Two, everyone already knows why just by looking at him.

 

[khafail]

What?

 

[UltraFayJr.]

nofap

Seeing your name on my alerts, I knew you were gonna say NoFap. Well guess what, I’m already on NoFap! Now what do I do now!

 

[Life Wasted]

Showering.

 

[UltraFayJr.]

Nobody will ask a real incel why he's so quiet for a couple reasons, actually. One, they don't want to interact with him or encourage him to interact with others, both of which asking that question would do. Two, everyone already knows why just by looking at him.

You make a fine point there not gonna lie, carry on.

 

[Hunter]

Seeing your name on my alerts, I knew you were gonna say NoFap. Well guess what, I’m already on NoFap! Now what do I do now!

wait until confidence superpowers kick in

 

[oldcellcopecell]

Sex with women.

(knowing you can beat up people helps too)

 

[khafail]

Nobody will ask a real incel why he's so quiet for a couple reasons, actually. One, they don't want to interact with him or encourage him to interact with others, both of which asking that question would do. Two, everyone already knows why just by looking at him.

Countless circumstances in which I was forced to be there (prep work for group presentations, family gatherings, etc.). If i'm just sitting there amongst everyone like the legendary autist I am, then ofc normies would question my social ineptitude. It's also a reach to imply that there asking to encourage me to get involved in the convo, when it's likely just to belittle me as a whole instead.

 

[FiveFourManlet]

Get a haircut.
Take a good god damned shower.
And be yourself

 

[UltraFayJr.]

Countless circumstances in which I was forced to be there (prep work for group presentations, family gatherings, etc.). If i'm just sitting there amongst everyone like the legendary autist I am, then ofc normies would question my social ineptitude. It's also a reach to imply that there asking to encourage me to get involved in the convo, when it's likely just to belittle me as a whole instead.

You put my thoughts in a good paragraph, expecially the group project part.

 

[KingOfRome]

Countless circumstances in which I was forced to be there (prep work for group presentations, family gatherings, etc.). If i'm just sitting there amongst everyone like the legendary autist I am, then ofc normies would question my social ineptitude. It's also a reach to imply that there asking to encourage me to get involved in the convo, when it's likely just to belittle me as a whole instead.

If you're gl enough for people to be genuinely curious about your silence, you're a fakecel. It's that simple. It's unlikely that they're belittling you because if that were the case, their pointing out to you that you're quiet wouldn come in the form of a question.

 

[Professorjpj]

Heres a TRICK thats help me made it through 48 years of shyness and serious anxiety being in public.. NEVER let them see your eyes.. Find some very Dark sunglasses, or sunglasses that are soo reflective no one can see your eyes... Its a psychological trick, but it works.. In fact you''ll find out a number of normies are in a subtle manner slightly intimidated by YOU when they never see your eyes.. They wont admit it, but many are..
I have three recommendations for types of glasses that work for me,.. The 1st is the state trooper reflective mirror shades, I LOVE those.. the 2nd are the glasses used by agent smith in the matrix.. I use those daily... The 3rd in the classic "blind man shades", they are very dark.. Also the "blues brothers glasses".. Find whats comfortable for you... They work almost like a psychic shield... When folks cant see your eyes, but you can see them, you have a slight advantage... Trust me...Get used to wearing them whenever you are NOT alone, youll find they help you a GREAT deal when dealing with others....

 

[khafail]

If you're gl enough for people to be genuinely curious about your silence, you're a fakecel. It's that simple. It's unlikely that they're belittling you because if that were the case, their pointing out to you that you're quiet would come in the form of a question.

JFL...what about the men that have asked me that question? Were they genuinely curious about my silence due to my "good looks" too?

 

[KingOfRome]

JFL...what about the men that have asked me that question? Were they genuinely curious about my silence due to my "good looks" too?

They see something inconsistent with reality, i.e. a normal looking guy acting like an ugly incel. They get curious. They try to satisfy that curiosity by asking him personally. It's not hard to understand.

If anyone's really making fun of you, it's actually more likely that they're female. Foids do like making their jabs at others' self-esteem seem innocuous on the surface.

 

[khafail]

They see something inconsistent with reality, i.e. a normal looking guy acting like an ugly incel. They get curious. They try to satisfy that curiosity by asking him personally. It's not hard to understand.

Not buying that

If anyone's really making fun of you, it's actually more likely that they're female. Foids do like making their jabs at others' self-esteem seem innocuous on the surface.

Exactly my point. Foids couldn't care less about how engaging an incel is in a given conversation. They're asking to either degrade or simply because they can

 

[Berserker123]

OP is not incel, just loveshy. I would be loveshy too but I just hate people in general.

 

[Mik_TFL]

I tried masking my shyness by being eccentric, If I'm already kind of autistic, might as well go the full length... and it fucking worked, it worked beautifully tbh. Give you an example:
The other day I came into the office and there was some flour on my desk because they had ordered pizza the day before and someone missed cleaning that spot. We have a daily technical meeting every day at 9:45 so almost all my coworkers were there, so I put my face close to the desk and swipe some of the flour with my index finger, then turn around look inquisitive and blatantly asked: Who was doing coke on my desk??? And everybody starts laughing. A female coworker once told me directly that I was weird, but she clearly respects me, as do all of my coworkers.

 

[Newbite]

Just put yourself out there. In time you will get used to it and no longer care about small things

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

I remember when I was trying to fix my shyness I just forced myself to talk to people and tried to prolong the conversations as much as possible.

I just realized this worked because I haven't felt felt shy for years now.

High IQ. I do that sometimes, but most of the time I just lack the energy, and I don't want the conversation to seem like an FBI interrogatory also.

 

[Felix97]

I tried masking my shyness by being eccentric, If I'm already kind of autistic, might as well go the full length... and it fucking worked, it worked beautifully tbh. Give you an example:
The other day I came into the office and there was some flour on my desk because they had ordered pizza the day before and someone missed cleaning that spot. We have a daily technical meeting every day at 9:45 so almost all my coworkers were there, so I put my face close to the desk and swipe some of the flour with my index finger, then turn around look inquisitive and blatantly asked: Who was doing coke on my desk??? And everybody starts laughing. A female coworker once told me directly that I was weird, but she clearly respects me, as do all of my coworkers.

just be weird theory