Warm cheerful sunny weather as a loser in life is a death sentence for me. It makes me feel more guilty for being reclusive & missing out on life but this is my only option as a loser with no social life. Even in hot weather I'm in my room regardless coping with vidya. I'll open the blinds and window but that's as a close as a 'day out' I'm gonna get, opening the blinds and window to see the oncoming traffic.
At least in cold weather its almost 'accepted' to be reclusive but warm weather represents fun & frolics of life. As loser introvert it makes no difference to me, I rot regardless on vidya & other copes. Lately I've been trying make a more concerted effort to be productive in the apartment, like simply cleaning up more and arranging appointments but it's never enough to lift my spirits of being a depressed loser in life. Then the night draws to a close and another day is wasted being the loser I am, at least during the day I can get by with copes but then fatigue sets in which really triggers depression, especially at night lying in bed awake ruminating how much of a failure I am, that to me is the most brutal part of the day
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At least in cold weather its almost 'accepted' to be reclusive but warm weather represents fun & frolics of life. As loser introvert it makes no difference to me, I rot regardless on vidya & other copes. Lately I've been trying make a more concerted effort to be productive in the apartment, like simply cleaning up more and arranging appointments but it's never enough to lift my spirits of being a depressed loser in life. Then the night draws to a close and another day is wasted being the loser I am, at least during the day I can get by with copes but then fatigue sets in which really triggers depression, especially at night lying in bed awake ruminating how much of a failure I am, that to me is the most brutal part of the day
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