How do you spend a free day?

[Deleted member 7448]

I can't believe how much time I'm wasting. These last few years would've been heaven for most people. So little responsibilities, most days literally 14 to 16 hours a day of freedom.

And yet I am completely wasting them. I don't even want to be productive, I don't consider it a waste because I'm not being productive. I'm wasting them because I'm not even enjoying them. If I enjoyed a day I'd consider it great and not wasted. But I seem to just ... do nothing. Most days I browse the internet searching for some games, I end up installing something and deleting it in a few minutes. I end up spending more time agonizing over what to install than playing, I delete things almost straight away. I spend more time installing Minecraft and mods than playing it, uninstalling and reinstalling sometimes twice a day. Other than that I might watch a a few seasons sitcom I've seen 50 times already. Or browsing the same mindless sites, like sites of games I used to play but don't anymore. Shit, even fapping I'd consider a good use of my time, that's how much I waste my time. But I can't even fap anymore, just once in several days cause my libido is shot.

Such a waste of time. So many years wasted. I wish I could just enjoy myself. I'll look back to these times when I'll be a wageslave working for pennies and I'll be tortured by the thought of how I could've at least enjoyed myself, cause when I'm a wageslave I definitely won't be able to enjoy myself.

 

[Gymcelled]

Tbh i've spent so much of what should have been the best years of my life reading/watching shit on the internet that i immediately forgot

It's weird having so few memories, feeling like you've never been alive

 

[Deleted member 25707]

Tbh i've spent so much of what should have been the best years of my life reading/watching shit on the internet that i immediately forgot

It's weird having so few memories, feeling like you've never been alive

Yup. 95% of the net is just useless information. It's like reading bunch of senseless youtube comments. Big waste of time.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Tbh i've spent so much of what should have been the best years of my life reading/watching shit on the internet that i immediately forgot

It's weird having so few memories, feeling like you've never been alive

Ohh yes, all the shit that I consume is forgotten right away. Whatever I read/browse/watch/listen to. It's almost like I've been in a coma for years.

And yet, when I'm not doing these things, I just get extremely tired, anxious, frustrated. It's like I only want to rot, anything else is bad, pointless, boring, difficult. Been this way even before my depression tbh, even as a little kid.

 

[Gymcelled]

Yup. 95% of the net is just useless information. It's like reading bunch of senseless youtube comments. Big waste of time.

But at the same time reading my school books or reading papers or industry shit is almost just as stupid. I end up forgetting the vast majority of what i read there also.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Yup. 95% of the net is just useless information. It's like reading bunch of senseless youtube comments. Big waste of time.

It's not even that it's useless, it would be perfectly fine for it to be useless as long as it felt good. As long as you felt satisfied and happy after doing it. But I just end up doing this endlessly and I never feel satisfied, the void just grows larger and larger. And yet doing anything else is sheer torture.

But at the same time reading my school books or reading papers or industry shit is almost just as stupid. I end up forgetting the vast majority of what i read there also.

My memory has always been shit (although it's worse now). Everything I've ever leaned has been forgotten soon after.

 

[Deleted member 25707]

But at the same time reading my school books or reading papers or industry shit is almost just as stupid. I end up forgetting the vast majority of what i read there also.

Yeah that's why you only read stuff which will benefit you in some way. Like some looksmaxing/moneymaxxing forums.

But I just end up doing this endlessly and I never feel satisfied, the void just grows larger and larger. And yet doing anything else is sheer torture.

It's over man. You are at the point of no return. This reminds me of that famous quote by David Foster Wallace.

 

[I want to believe]

I always browse the Internet.

 

[Personalityinkwell]

idk i am too mentally fucked to do anything anymore

 

[BummerDrummerOG]

Shitting my pants

 

[Gymcelled]

Ohh yes, all the shit that I consume is forgotten right away. Whatever I read/browse/watch/listen to. It's almost like I've been in a coma for years.

And yet, when I'm not doing these things, I just get extremely tired, anxious, frustrated. It's like I only want to rot, anything else is bad, pointless, boring, difficult. Been this way even before my depression tbh, even as a little kid.

jfl i laughed so hard when i read the part in bold. It's the best way of describing it

Almost everything in life is a pain. Almost everything in life is tiring or just leads to a negative, unpleasant experience. I still push through a lot but I fucking hate every moment of it. I always feel like normies, foids and chads are just so much more happy mentally and don't get tired

Pic related always makes me think they're just on a sort of happiness steroid while we have to compete drug free

But what's the alternative to doing productive things and going out? It's a vegetative state. You're not enjoying yourself, you're just passing time. It's like you're avoiding what feels like hell only to get stuck in purgatory. No way up.

Yeah that's why you only read stuff which will benefit you in some way. Like some looksmaxing/moneymaxxing forums.


It's over man. You are at the point of no return. This reminds me of that famous quote by David Foster Wallace.
View attachment 354955

Even that's a huge cope. I had the exact same idea many years ago, i thought i could outsmart this shitty life. Turns out almost everything related to self improvement or looksmaxxing is useless or statistically not significant if you're poor and UGLY af

 

[Genetic Dead End]

Depends on what I have going on. But most of the time, nothing.

 

[Greyandoldcel]

With my dick out.

 

[Deleted member 25707]

Turns out almost everything related to self improvement or looksmaxxing is useless or statistically not significant if you're poor and UGLY af

Brutal man. You are my senior so understandably more Blackpilled. I still have this bluepill hope. Maybe I'll find happiness some day.

 

[Simulacrasimulation]

coding and spamming @Grothendieck

 

[Deleted member 25707]

coding and spamming @Grothendieck

 

[Deleted member 26032]

jfl i laughed so hard when i read the part in bold. It's the best way of describing it

Almost everything in life is a pain. Almost everything in life is tiring or just leads to a negative, unpleasant experience. I still push through a lot but I fucking hate every moment of it. I always feel like normies, foids and chads are just so much more happy mentally and don't get tired

Pic related always makes me think they're just on a sort of happiness steroid while we have to compete drug free

View attachment 354959

But what's the alternative to doing productive things and going out? It's a vegetative state. You're not enjoying yourself, you're just passing time. It's like you're avoiding what feels like hell only to get stuck in purgatory. No way up.


Even that's a huge cope. I had the exact same idea many years ago, i thought i could outsmart this shitty life. Turns out almost everything related to self improvement or looksmaxxing is useless or statistically not significant if you're poor and UGLY af

True and brutal af.

 

[Deleted member 25707]

t

 

[Gymcelled]

Brutal man. You are my senior so understandably more Blackpilled. I still have this bluepill hope. Maybe I'll find happiness some day.

Balding broke me as a human being. I'm not being hyperbolic, it completely changed the way i see the world. It really killed any hopes i still had left and made me way more self aware. I should make a thread about it at some point

But I've been ripped and getting body compliment froms guys (jfl of course) since i was ... 20? I've tried every looksmaxxing thing under the fucking son and nothing worked. I've tried socilamaxxing in different ways. Tried to improve everything, fashion, voice, posture, confidence, positive thoughts. I've succeeded academically but it doesn't matter

Nothing fucking worked. But I still kept going in my hamster wheel of self improvement, thinking one day i'm gonna make it

Then the reaper came and set me back. Over half a decade of grinding were mogged by the fucking reaper. I literally became uglier than what i started. So many years of hard work, dedication and borderline obsession were outright defeated by something i have no control over. Fuck this stupid and cruel life

Now I have to perforate my scalp and inject chemicals just so i don't lose more hair, and even that's not working too well.

But maybe self improvement will work for you. Depends on what you look like. I hope it will. But I hope you understand why i think self improvement was just a way for me to delude myself. I thought I was making some progress until i got thrown in the norwood cemetery with the force of a fucking truck

The only reason i don't rope or rot at this point is because i wanna try surgeries and SEAmaxxing. If those don't work i'm going Baraka mode.

 

[Shin no Shi]

I always browse the Internet.

 

[FAloner]

LDARing/rotting in front of phone/computer

 

[Sad_Eunuch]

You'll look back at these days as good times if you ever start wage slaving long term.

 

[Deleted member 25707]

Balding broke me as a human being. I'm not being hyperbolic, it completely changed the way i see the world. It really killed any hopes i still had left and made me way more self aware. I should make a thread about it at some point

But I've been ripped and getting body compliment froms guys (jfl of course) since i was ... 20? I've tried every looksmaxxing thing under the fucking son and nothing worked. I've tried socilamaxxing in different ways. Tried to improve everything, fashion, voice, posture, confidence, positive thoughts. I've succeeded academically but it doesn't matter

Nothing fucking worked. But I still kept going in my hamster wheel of self improvement, thinking one day i'm gonna make it

Then the reaper came and set me back. Over half a decade of grinding were mogged by the fucking reaper. I literally became uglier than what i started. So many years of hard work, dedication and borderline obsession were outright defeated by something i have no control over. Fuck this stupid and cruel life

Now I have to perforate my scalp and inject chemicals just so i don't lose more hair, and even that's not working too well.

But maybe self improvement will work for you. Depends on what you look like. I hope it will. But I hope you understand why i think self improvement was just a way for me to delude myself. I thought I was making some progress until i got thrown in the norwood cemetery with the force of a fucking truck

The only reason i don't rope or rot at this point is because i wanna try surgeries and SEAmaxxing. If those don't work i'm going Baraka mode.

I gave up on looksmaxxing this year. Not wasting my money on surgeries. My only focus is just doing well in my studies and moneymaxxing. There is no looksmaxing for my Sub4 face.

And me too bro,
If I fail then I'll just go Baraka on normalfags

 

[Deleted member 19971]

Just LDAR, most productive thing I do is watch documentaries but in the end we will all die so what’s the point.

 

[Gymcelled]

I gave up on looksmaxxing this year. Not wasting my money on surgeries. My only focus is just doing well in my studies and moneymaxxing. There is no looksmaxing for my Sub4 face.

And me too bro,
If I fail then I'll just go Baraka on normalfags
View attachment 354974

I think some of my flaws are somewhat easily fixable with surgeries (low risk, not THAT expensive surgeries) so there might be hope

And i meant the blackcel Baraka

 

[Deleted member 25707]

I think some of my flaws are somewhat easily fixable with surgeries (low risk, not THAT expensive surgeries) so there might be hope

And i meant the blackcel Baraka

That guy who lit himself? Man that's painful way to die. Why not just go my Baraka way lol.

And best of luck dude. I have shitty Cuck eyes and Zygos 404 not found. I was saving for Rhino ngl but I gave up on surgeries.

 

[Gymcelled]

That guy who lit himself? Man that's painful way to die. Why not just go my Baraka way lol.

And best of luck dude. I have shitty Cuck eyes and Zygos 404 not found. I was saving for Rhino ngl but I gave up on surgeries.

Eye region is one of the hardest thing to have surgery on sadly.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

jfl i laughed so hard when i read the part in bold. It's the best way of describing it

Almost everything in life is a pain. Almost everything in life is tiring or just leads to a negative, unpleasant experience. I still push through a lot but I fucking hate every moment of it. I always feel like normies, foids and chads are just so much more happy mentally and don't get tired

Pic related always makes me think they're just on a sort of happiness steroid while we have to compete drug free

View attachment 354959

But what's the alternative to doing productive things and going out? It's a vegetative state. You're not enjoying yourself, you're just passing time. It's like you're avoiding what feels like hell only to get stuck in purgatory. No way up.


Even that's a huge cope. I had the exact same idea many years ago, i thought i could outsmart this shitty life. Turns out almost everything related to self improvement or looksmaxxing is useless or statistically not significant if you're poor and UGLY af

Everything is indeed a very negative and unpleasant. Things that for normal people are just everyday mundane things that they just do without thinking too much about it, it's all very unpleasant and stressful for me.

Balding broke me as a human being. I'm not being hyperbolic, it completely changed the way i see the world. It really killed any hopes i still had left and made me way more self aware. I should make a thread about it at some point

But I've been ripped and getting body compliment froms guys (jfl of course) since i was ... 20? I've tried every looksmaxxing thing under the fucking son and nothing worked. I've tried socilamaxxing in different ways. Tried to improve everything, fashion, voice, posture, confidence, positive thoughts. I've succeeded academically but it doesn't matter

Nothing fucking worked. But I still kept going in my hamster wheel of self improvement, thinking one day i'm gonna make it

Then the reaper came and set me back. Over half a decade of grinding were mogged by the fucking reaper. I literally became uglier than what i started. So many years of hard work, dedication and borderline obsession were outright defeated by something i have no control over. Fuck this stupid and cruel life

Now I have to perforate my scalp and inject chemicals just so i don't lose more hair, and even that's not working too well.

But maybe self improvement will work for you. Depends on what you look like. I hope it will. But I hope you understand why i think self improvement was just a way for me to delude myself. I thought I was making some progress until i got thrown in the norwood cemetery with the force of a fucking truck

The only reason i don't rope or rot at this point is because i wanna try surgeries and SEAmaxxing. If those don't work i'm going Baraka mode.

I've been too numb and depressed for too long so I never really thought how balding changed my life. Well, it didn't yet, cause I've been rotting to the extreme for so many years that balding happened during it. Well, it started very early on but I'll truly feel the consequences of being bald only after wageslaving, when I'm ripped from my comfort zone and shoved into the stress of normal life.

Guys, you should consider to NoSurf a little. No pressure.

Hypofrontality and working memory issues are the direct result of the massive amount of information found on the internet and its non-linear structure. Add entertainment to that, and you'd be desensitized to dopamine as well, which also reduces the ability to focus and memorize. It really changes your brain, gentlemen.

It's not the first time I recommend it to you, boyos, but you should read this book. You won't see the internet in the same way afterwards.

Good book, I know it's useful but I probably won't read it, I can barely get myself to watch a new TV show instead of just rewatching the same seasons 10 seasons of the several sitcoms I keep rewatching 50 times.

http://library.lol/main/E0D5AF450AD7A8C6E03E2E1BF65B983B for when you suggest it in the future

 

[Studiocel]

I relate. No responsibilities = no meaning. The human brain isnt built to LDAR and I can feel myself deteriorating everyday.

 

[LOLI BREEDING]

Guys, you should consider to NoSurf a little. No pressure.

Hypofrontality and working memory issues are the direct result of the massive amount of information found on the internet and its non-linear structure. Add entertainment to that, and you'd be desensitized to dopamine as well, which also reduces the ability to focus and memorize. It really changes your brain, gentlemen.

It's not the first time I recommend it to you, boyos, but you should read this book. You won't see the internet in the same way afterwards.

based for trying to help, most of the time this place is a crab bucket

 

[ordinaryotaku]

40% of the time of my day I surf the web, 30% school (and school shit), 20% vidya, and then 10% of it is outside, but that usually fluctuates higher.

On usual weekends, 65% of my time is outside, 20% is vidya, and 15% of it is surfing the web.

Sucks though. Before I became ugly, it was like 85% of the time I was outside hanging with friends and 15% was vidya.

 

[PPEcel]

Vidya, fine dining, and hookers

 

[InMyCellInHell]

idk i am too mentally fucked to do anything anymore

Shitting my pants

Same

 

[Transcended Trucel]

Vidya, Novels, Buddhism

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

Everyday is a free day

 

[Deleted member 20536]

Everything now exausts me
Even one little thing and the day is gone
I need to go back , depression melted my brain

 

[Robtical]

 

[GreyWorld]

I started reading Manga. I'm also hoping to learn a programming language. It's best to just do a bit in short bursts since losing motivation is gonna happen. I'm hoping to use it to automate certain tasks on my pc.

 

[mexicel]

I mostly rot because I am exhausted from working all week and think over my life

Tbh i've spent so much of what should have been the best years of my life reading/watching shit on the internet that i immediately forgot

It's weird having so few memories, feeling like you've never been alive

Tbh seriously

 

[pixy.]

 

[Llama]

Everyday is a free day. I keep wasting time and playing on my computer. Video games have stopped being fun even. So I basically just rot and go to work, where ironically, i have fun. Guess im just happy to do something productive

 

[Deleted member 10150]

60% computer ,30% sleep , 10% searching for food

 

[Deleted member 24016]

I relate. No responsibilities = no meaning. The human brain isnt built to LDAR and I can feel myself deteriorating everyday.

I’ve been LDARing for awhile now, I am actually rotting.

 

[SillyTruecel]

LDARing