I
There are objective measurements of physical attractiveness, especially for men, and that straying from these standards makes attracting a partner much more difficult, along with other complications.
Humans are a sexually dimorphic species, meaning that women and men exhibit different physical traits from each other and differ in terms of size and strength. It also implies that there is an intense competition among males in securing a female, which suggests that without any social or civilizational pressure, humans are polygamous and likely only have a small percentage of men that are sexually successful. This is proved by the fact that most people have more female than male ancestors, and that 10,000 years ago before the development of agriculture, only one man successfully reproduced for every 17 women. Human sexual behaviour would eventually be regulated by civilization and religion that would impose strict monogamy and reduce women's sexual freedom and choice in favour of appealing to the majority of men, probably to increase social stability and encourage them to be productive members of society, so that sexual success was earned by merit and not by the sexual selection of women.
In the West, developments in the economic and sexual freedoms of women mean that they can once again choose partners based on sexual attraction and not be forced to choose a man for economic reasons. There is nothing wrong with that, but what that means is that the past men who were sexually successful based on the socially imposed system of strict monogamy that allowed them to compensate with resources are not going to be successful in our current polygamous society where women are independent and can choose their partners based on sexual attraction. Unfortunately, what that means is that I am not on the radar for most women, and won't be even if I wanted to.
Now that women have sexual freedom, they are free to choose male partners based on indicators of genetic fitness and conformity to traditionally masuline traits that helped primitive humans a long time ago. These traits typically revolve around dominance and aggression. Without weapons, the bigger and taller male is sexually selected for by women for his ability to dominate other men. Masculinity is directly tied with height and size, at least biologically, and men who are smaller than other men are less masculine and therefore less worthy of respect from men and admiration from women.
This is where my body image issues begin. I am a small man at least here in Canada at 5'5". Especially here on campus and in Calgary, I will almost always be one of the shortest men and over half of all women, given that I'm the size of an average woman. On its own it really doesn't mean anything. It is only when placed in a social context that it makes my life worse.
the social costs of being a short man far outweighs any of those benefits tenfold. I find it hard to be taken seriously as a man often, both by men and women. Many people talk to me in a patronizing tone, believing me to be inferior to them because I am smaller than them. Most classmates assume I'm less competent until I demonstrate that I am a competent student, same with employers. And obviously, most women see me as less of a man because a lot of women are literally taller than I am, with most of them capable of being taller than I am barefooted.
What's unfortunate is that there is nothing I can do to make my-self appear better in the eyes of women. I am easily able to haul around up to three times my bodyweight (420 lbs). I also have been kickboxing for the past two years and I'm a pretty competent fighter overall, capable of holding my own against guys who are bigger for a time.
Yes, I can gymcel as much as I want, but up to a point it has diminishing returns. I'm currently at 140 lbs. At 5'5", 140 lbs, I am a twink and smaller than most women I see, even though I am stronger and have a proportionally good physique. I could gain an extra 20 lbs, but then I would become too big in the eyes of women and be seen as an overcompensating manlet.
Also, a lot of the feats I can hold off I have only been able to do from intensive training over a long period of time, and through testing my body to its limits. Given how small I am, any guy who wishes to be just as strong as I am only has to put in a fraction of the effort, and can easily surpass me by putting in the same effort. Also, because of my small size, nobody can really tell that I am strong or a competent fighter. It's not assumed of me until I demonstrate it.
Overall, I feel like I have to do more than other men to be perceived as masculine. I feel like I am a grown man trapped inside an awkward teenager's body. I feel like I have failed to conform to my masculine identity because of something completely outside of my control, even though I identify with and want to be perceived as a normal man.
Humans are a sexually dimorphic species, meaning that women and men exhibit different physical traits from each other and differ in terms of size and strength. It also implies that there is an intense competition among males in securing a female, which suggests that without any social or civilizational pressure, humans are polygamous and likely only have a small percentage of men that are sexually successful. This is proved by the fact that most people have more female than male ancestors, and that 10,000 years ago before the development of agriculture, only one man successfully reproduced for every 17 women. Human sexual behaviour would eventually be regulated by civilization and religion that would impose strict monogamy and reduce women's sexual freedom and choice in favour of appealing to the majority of men, probably to increase social stability and encourage them to be productive members of society, so that sexual success was earned by merit and not by the sexual selection of women.
In the West, developments in the economic and sexual freedoms of women mean that they can once again choose partners based on sexual attraction and not be forced to choose a man for economic reasons. There is nothing wrong with that, but what that means is that the past men who were sexually successful based on the socially imposed system of strict monogamy that allowed them to compensate with resources are not going to be successful in our current polygamous society where women are independent and can choose their partners based on sexual attraction. Unfortunately, what that means is that I am not on the radar for most women, and won't be even if I wanted to.
Now that women have sexual freedom, they are free to choose male partners based on indicators of genetic fitness and conformity to traditionally masuline traits that helped primitive humans a long time ago. These traits typically revolve around dominance and aggression. Without weapons, the bigger and taller male is sexually selected for by women for his ability to dominate other men. Masculinity is directly tied with height and size, at least biologically, and men who are smaller than other men are less masculine and therefore less worthy of respect from men and admiration from women.
This is where my body image issues begin. I am a small man at least here in Canada at 5'5". Especially here on campus and in Calgary, I will almost always be one of the shortest men and over half of all women, given that I'm the size of an average woman. On its own it really doesn't mean anything. It is only when placed in a social context that it makes my life worse.
the social costs of being a short man far outweighs any of those benefits tenfold. I find it hard to be taken seriously as a man often, both by men and women. Many people talk to me in a patronizing tone, believing me to be inferior to them because I am smaller than them. Most classmates assume I'm less competent until I demonstrate that I am a competent student, same with employers. And obviously, most women see me as less of a man because a lot of women are literally taller than I am, with most of them capable of being taller than I am barefooted.
What's unfortunate is that there is nothing I can do to make my-self appear better in the eyes of women. I am easily able to haul around up to three times my bodyweight (420 lbs). I also have been kickboxing for the past two years and I'm a pretty competent fighter overall, capable of holding my own against guys who are bigger for a time.
Yes, I can gymcel as much as I want, but up to a point it has diminishing returns. I'm currently at 140 lbs. At 5'5", 140 lbs, I am a twink and smaller than most women I see, even though I am stronger and have a proportionally good physique. I could gain an extra 20 lbs, but then I would become too big in the eyes of women and be seen as an overcompensating manlet.
Also, a lot of the feats I can hold off I have only been able to do from intensive training over a long period of time, and through testing my body to its limits. Given how small I am, any guy who wishes to be just as strong as I am only has to put in a fraction of the effort, and can easily surpass me by putting in the same effort. Also, because of my small size, nobody can really tell that I am strong or a competent fighter. It's not assumed of me until I demonstrate it.
Overall, I feel like I have to do more than other men to be perceived as masculine. I feel like I am a grown man trapped inside an awkward teenager's body. I feel like I have failed to conform to my masculine identity because of something completely outside of my control, even though I identify with and want to be perceived as a normal man.
