The first day of my job was induction. The email told me to head to a specific room to meet the other new hires.
I walked in and immediately thought I was in the wrong place. The females were already talking like they’d known each other for a decade.
It was non-stop chatter. Meanwhile, the guys were sat there mostly in silence. It turns out I was in the right room. The females had only met each other for the first time ten minutes ago. They were already trauma-dumping or complimenting each other’s accessories and suddenly they're best friends. How do they do that? The men were just awkwardly sat there, occasionally sizing each other up.
I'm not saying I want to be a chit-chatting foid, I just don't like this 'ooga-booga, you male me male, competition, fight, ooga-booga' caveman logic.
It’s like we’re tethered to some invisible evolutionary software that forces us into a stand-off, even when there’s literally nothing to compete over except the free biscuits on the side table.
This is how females become friends:
Foid 1: "I love your nails!"
Foid 2: "Thanks, I went to Jenny's."
Foid 1: "No way, I’ve been meaning to go there. Let’s go together!"
Foid 2: "Yes! Let’s swap numbers."
The Male Version:
Male 1: "Yo, I like your haircut, bro."
Me: "Erm, yeah, thanks." (in my head: 'Bro, you are a fucking weirdo. Unless you're a cute female, don't tell me how much you admire the way I look, you fucking faggot. KYS with a hammer.'
As you can see, I wouldn't be able to get past the first sentence. It’s an immediate repellent. My fight-or-flight response kicks in immediately.
I have realised men don't connect through verbal fluff, they connect through a shared goal. There has to be a target: a business deal, helping someone move out, fixing a machine, or some kind of grind. The friendship that comes out of that is a by-product.
It seems that the prerequisite to male friendship is to first ascertain whether or not you're useful or just dead weight. Everything else is irrelevant.
We don’t need to do a personality interview, we just need to know you aren’t going to pull a runner when the incoming fire starts. If the mission gets done without any unnecessary drama, that’s the highest compliment a man can give another man.
I walked in and immediately thought I was in the wrong place. The females were already talking like they’d known each other for a decade.
It was non-stop chatter. Meanwhile, the guys were sat there mostly in silence. It turns out I was in the right room. The females had only met each other for the first time ten minutes ago. They were already trauma-dumping or complimenting each other’s accessories and suddenly they're best friends. How do they do that? The men were just awkwardly sat there, occasionally sizing each other up.I'm not saying I want to be a chit-chatting foid, I just don't like this 'ooga-booga, you male me male, competition, fight, ooga-booga' caveman logic.
It’s like we’re tethered to some invisible evolutionary software that forces us into a stand-off, even when there’s literally nothing to compete over except the free biscuits on the side table.
This is how females become friends:
Foid 1: "I love your nails!"
Foid 2: "Thanks, I went to Jenny's."
Foid 1: "No way, I’ve been meaning to go there. Let’s go together!"
Foid 2: "Yes! Let’s swap numbers."
The Male Version:
Male 1: "Yo, I like your haircut, bro."
Me: "Erm, yeah, thanks.
" (in my head: 'Bro, you are a fucking weirdo. Unless you're a cute female, don't tell me how much you admire the way I look, you fucking faggot. KYS with a hammer.'As you can see, I wouldn't be able to get past the first sentence. It’s an immediate repellent. My fight-or-flight response kicks in immediately.
I have realised men don't connect through verbal fluff, they connect through a shared goal. There has to be a target: a business deal, helping someone move out, fixing a machine, or some kind of grind. The friendship that comes out of that is a by-product.
It seems that the prerequisite to male friendship is to first ascertain whether or not you're useful or just dead weight. Everything else is irrelevant.
We don’t need to do a personality interview, we just need to know you aren’t going to pull a runner when the incoming fire starts. If the mission gets done without any unnecessary drama, that’s the highest compliment a man can give another man.
flocks together
true
