Oneitiscel
Failed Jestermaxxx LDAR Extraordinaire
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2018
- Posts
- 7,021
- Online time
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View: https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/s/BImgGhdFdW
Hello everyone! I am a 28 year old autistic guy who also suffers from ADHD.
So, as you could imply from the title, during my teenage years I was an awkward, lonely guy with few friends, most of them nerdy and awkward like myself. I was a late bloomer in relationships, and until I was 19 I never really even had much contact with the opposite sex in a romantic context. My first kiss was with my best friend, and that girl was just sorry for me, as by that time I was like 17 and hadn't really seen much action at all. I lost my virginity to her as well, when I was 20 I think, as I tried to kill myself and when I left psych ward she remarked it would be a pity that I die a virgin, and that she could put an end to that.
Before that, with my old friend group from a previous very posh private school, we all complained about the "loose morals" of this generation's women, and all the usual stuff about us being nice, intelligent, well spoken guys, yet women would prefer stupid jocks who would always cheat on them, yadda yadda.
Still no luck with women romantically, but I didn't care cause I felt amazing, and I did now have female friends and saw women as something more than potential sex or romantic partners. I did feel a bit frustrated when I saw all my friends getting it on with cuties, and I did kiss some girls, generally a couple years older, who probably were turned on by my naïveté, but the few times I had noticed some girl was into me, I would just get blackout drunk in order to avoid having to deal with the issue and make myself vulnerable.
In juvie, I stopped being a naïve autistic kid, and learnt to act more like those dodgy guys with street cred. It wasn't even that bad, of course I missed freedom, but I was eating very well and doing a lot of sport, and learning to copy the patterns of those streetwise kids who everyone seemed to respect.
It did fuck me up, but unfortunately I love heroin, because I am a very sexual and horny guy, to the point it's often very uncomfortable. After leaving juvie, I had my first real relationship with a narcissist (that lasted 7 years and was terrible for my self esteem). Since then I've had two more relationships, much better than the first but still quite dysfunctional (second with a sex addict and last with a codependent who helped me make my addiction much worse).
To be honest, if I hadn't gotten into drugs, especially heroin, I fear I would be a porn addicted, woman hating incel, but ironically the drug game made much more adept at socialising and much more outgoing.
Just dark triad max as a sperg theory confirmed?





