Venting Heading off for a while.

[Gremlincel]

Things are bad, boyos, I can't keep this up, this life isn't sustainable, something has to change or I'm gonna die. I have to find some way to improve things, some way to lessen the suffering and pain, or at the very least some new copes.
No idea what the fuck to do, but I have to do something. I can't take it anymore. Barely an hour goes by every day where I don't break down in fits of rage and misery, dazed, head reeling, eyes watering from sheer excess of every kind of negative emotion, ready to beat someone to death or scratch my own face up with a sharp knife.
Near everyone and everything I see sets off intense jealousy, self loathing, anger, sorrow... it's all consuming. I walk around, every second of the day, seething, saturated with wild, intense toxicity, that would sicken people if they could see it.

For about two years now, I've been, well, 'passively suicidal', I suppose you would call it. I told myself I would rot, however I please, until I gained the motivation and courage to do it, always taking the easier option, no damns given about my future, since it would not matter anyway.
I have indulged in every manner of damaging thinking, I've extensively analyzed every horrific aspect and element of human life and the universe, for all this time. It has weighed crushingly upon me, it has reduced me to this.
And yet, I am still alive. I failed my one attempt at suicide, and I haven't had the heart to try again, since. Will it ever come? What am I to do, if it does not, but I never find life any more appealing? I'm supposed to, just, go fucking insane, I suppose? Hahaha, starting to look that way. I'm not waiting for it any longer, I can't afford to.

I'll probably get off the forum for a while, a week or so at the least. I have to take some time to try really find some solution to this hell.
None of you lot rope while I'm gone, that'd be fucked up. Good luck, see you in a short spell.

 

[D.O.A.]

Good luck.

 

[Scorn]

see ya in about a week then
nope to the rope

 

[IronMike]

straighten it all out my man

 

[_incelinside]

Good luck.

 

[Incellectual]

Good luck I hope you find some good copes

 

[_incelinside]

Hope you do come back. You are one of my favourite posters here

 

[Ser0]

you should write more

 

[Total Imbecile]

See you tomorrow my man

 

[WarriorSkull]

We'll miss you, Gremlin-kun!

 

[patheticmanletcel]

I hope we can be happy one day brotha

 

[acnescarcel]

 

[TheLivingFailure]

Any prediction to when you will be back here?

 

[Incelibate anarchist]

Good luck on your journey brother, I hope you find happiness one way or another.

 

[Deleted member 1042]

Lol you are a maycel yet you have 3k posts. Take a few weeks off boyo.

 

[UnfortunatelyINCEL98]

hope you dont kill yourself man

i go through similar phases without my copes

 

[LebaneseCel]

Ignore the cucks saying "don't kill your self."

Are you a subhuman? If yes, then do it. Let some guy like @FACEandLMS rate you and check if you got any hope left.

 

[Ritalincel]

Good luck on your journey brother, I hope you find happiness one way or another.

 

[AR15]

See you soon, man.

 

[Anger]

I will miss you

 

[Deleted member 2119]

Good luck

 

[theultimate341]

Good luck have a glorious week

 

[BasedGod1]

Best of luck friend

 

[KV-]

Bon voyage mon chER amie.

 

[RageAgainstTDL]

Good luck. It's all about keeping busy and finding copes. Maybe antidepressants when you're feeling very shitty. That's life.

 

[Juxtaposition6]

Ignore the cucks saying "don't kill your self."

Are you a subhuman? If yes, then do it. Let some guy like @FACEandLMS rate you and check if you got any hope left.

Jfl, killing yourself=the society that brought you up to this point wins over you and you die, it is the most cucked thing you can do given your situation, it's just retarded and weak beyond everything else.

 

[DyingInside]

I was wondering what happened to you. I don't know how I missed this thread, but I hope you're doing okay man.

 

[Deleted member 60]

Hope you found some good copes, we miss you.

 

[Cali_Incel]

Take care
Take care

 

[Robtical]

Jfl, killing yourself=the society that brought you up to this point wins over you and you die, it is the most cucked thing you can do given your situation, it's just retarded and weak beyond everything else.

That's how I feel about it too.

 

[Deleted member 7573]

Good luck on your journey brother, I hope you find happiness one way or another.

I hope you find what you are looking for and that it will change your life for the better my dear friend incel

 

[nausea]

Good luck.

 

[Gremlincel]

I've failed. I don't know why I thought I could change my mind by 'trying really hard', hah.
I can't find a reason to keep living, no matter how much I think about it. I can't find anything in my entire future to look forward to. I haven't felt any real positive emotion in years. Jesus Christ, I can't seem to help myself. Absolutely no idea what to do, man. Nothing comes close to effectively helping to cope with life.
But, still, unable to suicide, not yet. For now I'll just continue to hide, and crawl along in the shadows of better beings like the maggot I am, hoping none of them look down for a moment and decide to crush me. I hope I encounter something buried in this dirt I crawl through, eventually, that will help begin change things for the better.
Oh well. Who cares! If it does get worse, maybe the pain will override my cowardice and I'll finally be able to end it. Death will come someday, in any case. I'll go back to posting here for the time being, with you boyos.

 

[Deleted member 2119]

I've failed. I don't know why I thought I could change my mind by 'trying really hard', hah.
I can't find a reason to keep living, no matter how much I think about it. I can't find anything in my entire future to look forward to. I haven't felt any real positive emotion in years. Jesus Christ, I can't seem to help myself. Absolutely no idea what to do, man. Nothing comes close to effectively helping to cope with life.
But, still, unable to suicide, not yet. For now I'll just continue to hide, and crawl along in the shadows of better beings like the maggot I am, hoping none of them look down for a moment and decide to crush me. I hope I encounter something buried in this dirt I crawl through, eventually, that will help begin change things for the better.
Oh well. Who cares! If it does get worse, maybe the pain will override my cowardice and I'll finally be able to end it. Death will come someday, in any case. I'll go back to posting here for the time being, with you boyos.

Welcome back

You are a great poster

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I've failed. I don't know why I thought I could change my mind by 'trying really hard', hah.
I can't find a reason to keep living, no matter how much I think about it. I can't find anything in my entire future to look forward to. I haven't felt any real positive emotion in years. Jesus Christ, I can't seem to help myself. Absolutely no idea what to do, man. Nothing comes close to effectively helping to cope with life.
But, still, unable to suicide, not yet. For now I'll just continue to hide, and crawl along in the shadows of better beings like the maggot I am, hoping none of them look down for a moment and decide to crush me. I hope I encounter something buried in this dirt I crawl through, eventually, that will help begin change things for the better.
Oh well. Who cares! If it does get worse, maybe the pain will override my cowardice and I'll finally be able to end it. Death will come someday, in any case. I'll go back to posting here for the time being, with you boyos.

 

[Gremlincel]

Welcome back

You are a great poster

Damn, you're a janitor now, congratulations. Did I miss anything else interesting in the past week or two?

 

[Deleted member 2119]

Damn, you're a janitor now, congratulations. Did I miss anything else interesting in the past week or two?

Thanks a lot. I will try to do my best.

I dont think a lot happend but other users can correct me if I am wrong.

 

[Gremlincel]

Thanks a lot. I will try to do my best.

I dont think a lot happend but other users can correct me if I am wrong.

>mfw the blackpill still hasn't been disproven

 

[doktordoom]

>mfw the blackpill still hasn't been disproven

welcome back boyo.. have you ever thought of trying to ascend in SEA or south america?

 

[Gremlincel]

welcome back boyo.. have you ever thought of trying to ascend in SEA or south america?

Ah. Not really, no. Maybe if I was rich and well someday, I would take a few trips to those places and see what happens, since I have nothing to lose, but I'd be surprised if I was successful. Ugly, short, micro-dicked, far, far from NT and completely useless when it comes to interacting with others.. I'd be surprised to say the least.
Besides, having sex with a few low-tier girls in those countries doesn't mean much to me, most of my problems and sources of suffering have nothing to do with simply being a virgin, as I've said before. I'd sooner visit an escort if that was the case.

 

[doktordoom]

Ah. Not really, no. Maybe if I was rich and well someday, I would take a few trips to those places and see what happens, since I have nothing to lose, but I'd be surprised if I was successful. Ugly, short, micro-dicked, far, far from NT and completely useless when it comes to interacting with others.. I'd be surprised to say the least.
Besides, having sex with a few low-tier girls in those countries doesn't mean much to me, most of my problems and sources of suffering have nothing to do with simply being a virgin, as I've said before. I'd sooner visit an escort if that was the case.

i was looking at brazil bro. it's cheap as fuck. a apartment in sao paolo is $600 month in a high class area. $350 in a middle class area.... where here in the states $600 cant even get you a 1 bedroom apartment in the ghetto... also i was reading native english speakers make bank especially with private students. im thinking of getting in touch with a few brazilian incels and head there October after i save at least $4k to fuck around a month or so.... i already speak spanish so portugues is easy to learn. just be american meme is real. i think just cuz of that i could get laid.

 

[Bagelcel]

good luck mate, i legit fucking hope you ascend one day.

 

[Gremlincel]

i was looking at brazil bro. it's cheap as fuck. a apartment in sao paolo is $600 month in a high class area. $350 in a middle class area.... where here in the states $600 cant even get you a 1 bedroom apartment in the ghetto... also i was reading native english speakers make bank especially with private students. im thinking of getting in touch with a few brazilian incels and head there October after i save at least $4k to fuck around a month or so.... i already speak spanish so portugues is easy to learn. just be american meme is real. i think just cuz of that i could get laid.

Sure, it's worth a shot, you might be able to pull it off, I'm sure it would be a fun trip even if you failed. You certainly have nothing to lose, if you want do to it, and knowing how low-inhib you are, I suspect the risks do not trouble you.

good luck mate, i legit fucking hope you ascend one day.

Thanks, I hope the same for you, and all others who have the potential to ascend.
It isn't going to happen for me though, unfortunately. I'm just too low quality of a male, a real goblin, hah. But, still, maybe there is hope to somehow find life tolerable, without romance, for I and anyone else inhabiting a cursed body. We'll see.
And if not, there is always the next world.