Yes. Here's what I wrote her, courtesy of Google Translator:
(Her name),
I know you did not expect to receive an email like this from me, especially now that we've been around for a long time without seeing each other or talking to each other. Well, for starters, as you probably noticed through the times we meet between 2012 and 2014, I feel a deep attraction for you.
I have no guarantee that you will read this entire email (I hope I do not stretch you much), but I hope you do and I am counting on three factors: the natural curiosity of every human being, which seems to be especially women; the fact that you are a relatively legal and understanding person (judging empirically by the contacts you had with me and my friends); the fact that you are interested in psychology, which should hopefully make this my interesting story.
Knowing your move to (place) forced me to change my plans, which were to confess me after the fateful album of my band finally to be released (the current forecast is for the middle of this year, but it's been so long now that neither I know more) and you can listen to the songs and realize that it was the inspiration for several of them. "I confess" ... I know it sounds anachronistic and perhaps even ridiculous, but allow me to explain my decision: as a 26-year-old man, I have had the opportunity to have my dreams and youthful illusions about love, romance and sex severely shaken and mostly destroyed by contrast with reality. Originally, they involved getting married and having a family with someone like you. So, please do not think that I am innocent or cramped enough to live on deliveries of flowers and romantic confessions at this age, time, and place. I have, at least in large part, overcome the infra-human condition described by Nietzsche. I chose to write this email simply because I want to resolve everything that is pending in my chest and awareness towards you before you leave, and I can express myself better through writing than through speaking.
I know that human nature and behavior are more complex than I could describe here, and I do not want to generalize, but I could empirically realize through my life that women are particularly attracted not only to physical beauty, health, and these more biologically obvious things, but also by factors such as aggressive, assertive behavior, and perhaps, daring a little, could even cite marginal. My first example was my own mother, who was always related to men with these characteristics, starting with my father (who is a German bastard addicted to younger Brazilian women, who left us when I did not even notice me) ending up in my current stepfather who is an ex-military whose aggressiveness and authority are remarkable.
This fact about my own mother, who was initially restricted by my psychological defense mechanisms to apply to only a small portion of women, became increasingly difficult to ignore as I grew up and had more contacts with women. Still later, I was able to read a lot of material on the subject on the internet. After all this, I have tried successively to become this model of man, through self-suggestion, hypertrophy training, social workouts, but, happily or unfortunately for me, my personality is of a completely different kind. It is very difficult for me to pretend to be something that I am not, and the fact that I do not have the slightest desire to be filled with tattoos, piercings, dressing up for fashion, or becoming marginal, does not help much either.
I'm not presuming that you fit, at least perfectly, into this group of women. Even because you did an excellent job of keeping a mystery that kind of male personality was to your liking, beneath the veil of lesbianism (I know that you also have men, you do not have to lie about it for me to "spare my feelings "or anything like that. I was pretty sure, anyway). I never bothered with his lesbianism, on the contrary, he was a great motivating factor for me because I know that it is almost impossible to have a really serious and monogamous relationship in our current society, especially if it concerns our generation (I am not sure if we belong but then ...), then I hoped that if I were to be "horny", that at least my girlfriend would be unfaithful to other women instead of to other men.
Your current transition to college status is something very relevant because it marks the beginning of a phase where you will no longer be the teenager of before and you can plunge headlong into the myriad of romantic / sexual possibilities that is the period of college for a woman attractive, not to mention the influence of feminism and Freudianism that will certainly encourage you to do so. But all this is irrelevant now, my goal is just to resolve my emotional issue before your departure.
I will not lie, although I no longer believe in or nurture romantic hopes of any kind nowadays, I do feel desire for you and would love to at least kiss you before you leave. But if you do not have any romantic or sexual feelings for me, or any interest in being with me, but you cherish even minimally for my emotional well-being, I would very much like you to respond to the confessions here, preferably in person. That would be of great help in getting all those repressed feelings and confused situations and hopes out of my head so that both of us can continue our lives in peace. If you want, this can be done discreetly at your very farewell party. You can rest easy, I'm an emotionally stable person and I'm not planning any "love madness" or anything, even if I were not going to send you an email like this right now. I would simply be good with (one of my friends) until a certain moment where we could talk briefly about it.
If you prefer to do it some other time and do not want me to go to your farewell party in the circumstances, I will understand perfectly and I will be happy to cooperate with this decision. Also, I assure you that I do not have any crazy plans in mind, just talking and putting everything out would already be a good size. If you do not want to see me anymore and you want to respond virtually, I'd be a bit disappointed, but I'd still understand. Only what I ask is an answer, it can be straightforward. In fact, if this is so, it will help me because I have already forgotten one of my three great passions through this kind of outcome. Do not be afraid to "send the real", because that's what I want. You can tell me everything you think about me and about the situations that we have been through since that meeting on the bus, passing through the time I froze to see you from my side of the nothingness in (place), the show in which I gathered all the courage I had left after the disaster that was my sentimental life over the years to try to kiss you badly. All of these moments, though ridiculous, were unique to me because despite being introverted in general, you were one of the few girls who managed to leave me in such a state. So it would be nice to have a date with you without all these pressures and expectations.
I tried to be honest and use the language that I normally use in my thoughts because I do not want any kind of emotional games or crazy plans involved in it. I wrote everything in one shot, in a moment of inspiration (I just went to (college) today, and seeing a similar environment of what it will be for the next few years inspired me to write). Thanks for reading and feel free to think calmly about your decision as to how you will respond, as it is still more than two weeks before your farewell party. I have not shown or intend to show this email to anyone, if it is to show to someone, please at least omit my identity. You can call me (my phone number), speak on Facebook or do whatever you want to give me the answer of how it will be.
Kisses,
Mainländer.
