I've had multiple sick fetishes since I was a small child.
There have been more recent changes in my sexual psychology though, ones that I believe are the result of not only inceldom, but of an intentional campaign I've waged to transform certain aspects of my mental functioning.
Most people associate sexual arousal with feelings of emotional attachment they call "love". For me, however, this process has been successfully rerouted to associate sex with rage and domination. All of my sexual fantasies are hostile and predatory in nature now. Sexuality and anger are fused, and my body automatically responds the same way when sexually aroused as it does when someone is trying to start shit with me. This is the result of years of meditation, and the use of rape and bondage pornography, among other things. I feel that what I have accomplished is to reactivate dormant characteristics that are vestiges of different age. I've nourished an atavistic tail to the point where it has regained full functionality.
The idea of having a girlfriend, any woman in my life who appreciates who I really am and cares for me, and for this relationship to be at all sexual in nature, the whole western notion of love, is a very alien concept to me now. I can't relate at all to incels who mourn the absence of this sort of thing from their lives. I only understand sex as being a form of violence.
