- Feb 22, 2019
If so what stopped you from doing it?
I am not saying to kill yourself but I am pretty sure a gun will have a pretty high chance of ending you if you aim for the headYes many times, I have stopped because it's always the fear of failure like I end up paralyzed or something, if there was just an easy 100% successful way I would have been dead.
Yeah i feel you, when I first got rejected i started questioning my looks so I posted my face on soc and plebbit. I got rated pretty badly and then it dawned over me how truly over it was for meLegit when I first discovered the blackpill, but my subconscious saw what was happening and helped me get over the shock of realising how over it was for me.
I know you might hear this from plebbitors, but if you end your life you will lose any chance of it getting better. Even if it doesn't, would you rather kill yourself and return to oblivion or live out the rest of your days with good food and videogames. and usSome innate desire to live that I can only assume is the result of evolution.
I go through the motions in my head,
The cleaning and preparation for death. What would I need to do to exit is as dignified a manner as possible? The answer is quite a lot, the giving up of prized possessions hurts.
Now we go to methods of suicide. First we have the rather rude method of 12 gauge to the brainstem. A real bother for the poor bastard who has to clean up the mess. A more pleasant method being asphyxiation with a gas that does not trigger a suffocation response.
I've personally settled on the Kobain if I'm honest, one last dirty insult to society.
Location, location, location. A messy exit in some dark, dingy bedroom is vulgar, really. I'd rather feel the sun, smell the breeze, and hear some lil' bastard bird chirp away.
Follow the thought experiment to the act itself, picking up and feeling the weight the the shell, dropping the round into the chamber, and the sharp mechanical noises as the bolt is driven home.
A deep breath, a tense numbness, engulfed in an expansive emptiness, the insertion of the barrel into the mouth, aiming at an upward angle.
I then realize I'd never pull the trigger.
I've considered buying a dummy round and going through the motions for real to desensitize myself, but I haven't made it that far yet. The unfortunate truth is that I really don't want to end my life, even if that'd be the smart thing to do.
I'll just continue on, in this crazy, pointless world. After all, it only delays my date with the reaper by just a little while.