Sheogorath
Paragon
★★★★★
- Joined
- May 20, 2018
- Posts
- 19,796
This seems like a basic thing of PUA strategy and all that but the concept is basically alien to me. I've never had enough confidence to do it, never felt enough rapport where I'd think it'd be taken positively instead of harassment.
I guess some would call it fakecel if you don't do this but if you are confident in your skills at assessing a girl's interest/disgust I don't think one should be obligated to embarass oneself (possibly be open to harassment charges or her friends persecuting you) based on the slim possibility that you are somehow wrong and she might be willing to date.
That said, perhaps it is arrogant to think I can perfectly measure interest/disgust and maybe it is a good exercise in humility to test if you are wrong by actually asking girls out?
It just seems like putting the cart before the horse to me. Like usually you are supposed to do small talk, banter, flirt, etc and perceive subtle positive responses/feedback prior to asking girls to outings and getting to know them better.
This is probably one of those issues where it would be beneficial to have a circle of friends since you can do group activities and get to know people w/ an audience so there is fewer pressures associated with scheduling 1-on-1 outings.
The most talking I've ever done to girls is some jobs I've had in the past in retail where they are co-workers, but I always kept it related to what we were doing (ie "manager asked me to help you put boxes on shelf") unlike others who would talk about non-job related things to female coworkers: I always felt too high-inhib about that, like it would be over-stepping.
Even when I can overhear girls talking about something which interests me, or they're wearing something that advertises something I'm also a fan of... it's like a continent apart. I don't understand how to broach it.
Everything I think of always seems to direct. I just spiral into obsession about "what is a subtle way I can let her know we share an interest in this thing, so maybe she will initiate the conversation with me".
Maybe that is why guys walk around wearing animu/MLP shirts? Maybe I should try that instead of being low-inhib and wearing blank shirts. It's probably a pipe dream that this would lead to a girl starting a conversation with me, but I dunno...
The most feasible outcomes I could see:
All of these seem much more likely than someone approaching out of their own genuine interest.
Even so, all of these are still a form of socializing, I guess?
I'm just picturing that advertising any cute interests that might attract some genuine shy girl would also make me the target of gang violence. You can't just go around wearing a Cardcaptor Sakura shirt as an adult man. That's why even though I'd love loli shirts and shit I don't bother buying stuff like that.
I guess some would call it fakecel if you don't do this but if you are confident in your skills at assessing a girl's interest/disgust I don't think one should be obligated to embarass oneself (possibly be open to harassment charges or her friends persecuting you) based on the slim possibility that you are somehow wrong and she might be willing to date.
That said, perhaps it is arrogant to think I can perfectly measure interest/disgust and maybe it is a good exercise in humility to test if you are wrong by actually asking girls out?
It just seems like putting the cart before the horse to me. Like usually you are supposed to do small talk, banter, flirt, etc and perceive subtle positive responses/feedback prior to asking girls to outings and getting to know them better.
This is probably one of those issues where it would be beneficial to have a circle of friends since you can do group activities and get to know people w/ an audience so there is fewer pressures associated with scheduling 1-on-1 outings.
The most talking I've ever done to girls is some jobs I've had in the past in retail where they are co-workers, but I always kept it related to what we were doing (ie "manager asked me to help you put boxes on shelf") unlike others who would talk about non-job related things to female coworkers: I always felt too high-inhib about that, like it would be over-stepping.
Even when I can overhear girls talking about something which interests me, or they're wearing something that advertises something I'm also a fan of... it's like a continent apart. I don't understand how to broach it.
Everything I think of always seems to direct. I just spiral into obsession about "what is a subtle way I can let her know we share an interest in this thing, so maybe she will initiate the conversation with me".
Maybe that is why guys walk around wearing animu/MLP shirts? Maybe I should try that instead of being low-inhib and wearing blank shirts. It's probably a pipe dream that this would lead to a girl starting a conversation with me, but I dunno...
The most feasible outcomes I could see:
1) girl not interested in me thinks she can genuinely pair me up with her ugly friend (ugly friend is not interested but girl who initiates conversation with does not know that)
2) girl not interested in me thinks she can jokingly pair me up with her ugly friend (knows ugly friend is not interested but wants to troll/bully her by using me)
3) girl wants to mock me on social media
4) girl wants to rob me
5) girl gets off on chad BF beating shit out of incels she approaches in malls
All of these seem much more likely than someone approaching out of their own genuine interest.
Even so, all of these are still a form of socializing, I guess?
I'm just picturing that advertising any cute interests that might attract some genuine shy girl would also make me the target of gang violence. You can't just go around wearing a Cardcaptor Sakura shirt as an adult man. That's why even though I'd love loli shirts and shit I don't bother buying stuff like that.