Tellem--T
Banned
-
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2018
- Posts
- 5,495
here I am as I am doing my Snatch grip rack pulls at the knee, working up to a top set of 700 pounds, my straps are on, chalk is applied and doing it beltless. But through the work out I was wondering what's the point. I hate my life, why am I punishing my self in the gym, yes I love and it's a ingrained habit. But I am so depressed that's it doesn't matter. I don't have anybody to show of my physique or gains, it's just me. I'm a NEET loser why do I have to be jacked.?
After my snatch grip deadlift set, I moved on to high bar squats. I was literally crying, nothing matters I hate my existence. This has never happen to me before, I'm usually pumped and music is blasting. Music wasn't getting me hyped like it use to. I see high tier Normies and chadlites working out with their girlfriends while I'm punishing my self on my 9th set of front/back squats, they are casually doing random shit, They get to go home and fuck while I go walking home in the freezing snow and icing my banged up lower back at home when I reached there.
When I look back at all my times I gymcelled through the past year, I have made amazing strength and size gains, also mental toughness gains, but at the same time it won't matter, why because I'm a loser, i hope this is a temporary phase. Maybe I need a break from gymcelling, I have been programming hard for a year straight.
I don't what to do I'm just going to push through this, when you don't like existence, when don't like yourself and life, when you don't have any friends and live in social isolation, what's point of anything?
I'm a low status huge gymcel gorilla ogre, that wears his boots,gymbag,hoodie,touque while I walk in the snow to the gym, you know why because I'm a loser with no car or licences. No girl will ever desire me. Why should they desire a low status nigger.
It's over I don't want to exist anymore
After my snatch grip deadlift set, I moved on to high bar squats. I was literally crying, nothing matters I hate my existence. This has never happen to me before, I'm usually pumped and music is blasting. Music wasn't getting me hyped like it use to. I see high tier Normies and chadlites working out with their girlfriends while I'm punishing my self on my 9th set of front/back squats, they are casually doing random shit, They get to go home and fuck while I go walking home in the freezing snow and icing my banged up lower back at home when I reached there.
When I look back at all my times I gymcelled through the past year, I have made amazing strength and size gains, also mental toughness gains, but at the same time it won't matter, why because I'm a loser, i hope this is a temporary phase. Maybe I need a break from gymcelling, I have been programming hard for a year straight.
I don't what to do I'm just going to push through this, when you don't like existence, when don't like yourself and life, when you don't have any friends and live in social isolation, what's point of anything?
I'm a low status huge gymcel gorilla ogre, that wears his boots,gymbag,hoodie,touque while I walk in the snow to the gym, you know why because I'm a loser with no car or licences. No girl will ever desire me. Why should they desire a low status nigger.
It's over I don't want to exist anymore