Goodbye.
I am entering the final phase of my life. In a few weeks, I will be dead, either from sadness or suicide. As I enter this phase, I no longer even feel the urge to post here. I have never felt so sad in my life; I am exhausted. I am crying all the tears I should have cried over the past few years, but I was too numb for them to come out. Everything feels heavier. It's like gravity has been multiplied by three. I've always loved eating, perhaps too much, but I can't even eat anymore. I feel hunger, but the knot in my stomach prevents me from satisfying it. I feel like I'm going to vomit constantly. My throat is tight. I am BROKEN. I don't feel hate, but rather immense fatigue and fear as well. I can't concentrate anymore; my sleep is disastrous. I thought my last post would be more elaborate, but my brain is literally melted. I don't feel like doing anything anymore; I sit for hours staring into the void. I am terrified at the thought of not being able to go through with it and being stuck in this nightmare.
In a few weeks, I will have an opportunity to be alone to do it properly.
I am not asking for a permanent ban. If I haven't returned by November 15th, it's because I am dead, by a 12-gauge shotgun shell, chambered in 70mm, containing 16 pellets with a diameter of 7.4mm and a total mass of 38g. So, after that date, feel free to permanently ban me if that's the usual procedure for deceased members.
I will now try to mentally prepare myself, in the hopes of departing with at least some peace. I’ll just keep chatting on Discord with a few brocels.
I expect you to mock me if, despite this pathetic message, I end up changing my mind. If that happens, don't hesitate to do so. I need all the suicide fuel available to leave this joke.
To those close to me, who may read my posts in horror and wonder if everything is literal, the answer is no. I trust your intelligence to discern as you know me :
The obscure forums of the internet are strange places, where sometimes people make jokes about topics that might seem inappropriate. I can help you discern, by the way: Yes, I’ve felt some hatred toward women (the better term would be “resentment”), but no, I’ve never seriously considered hurting anyone.
And no when I say that seing women being beheaded it's "lifefuel" it is not serious, in this example I just want to express the resentment I mentioned earlier, BUT IT’S A FREAKING FORUM, people say things in a comedic way sometimes! I’m like everyone else, seeing someone get decapitated is stressful , but saying the opposite is a way to vent when you're angry.
In that case I’ve only expressed my negative emotions about the world in an exaggerated way through writing . And that’s actually the case for the vast majority of incels! I even think violent behavior in real life is underrepresented in this community, which is clearly mostly made up of people who are quite kind, though bitter and frustrated. But what could be more normal with the lives we lead, deprived of the most fundamental, the deepest of emotions, the one that gives meaning to the others: love.
Without this “love,” our lives are literally as meaningless as one might imagine when watching documentaries about space, where the realization of cosmic scales is both awe-inspiring and depressing. We then think, “everything is vanity,” even the pharaoh is now just dust, “what a tragedy!” But then comes the second part of the reflection: Even if everything was just matter, even if everything was determined since the Big Bang, there remains a certain beauty in this feeling. Yes, we are attracted to bodies, yes, we are manipulated by our genes to propagate them, but it seems to me that nature slipped up with our species and mistakenly granted us the ability to feel things that seem to transcend these rational considerations.
“But that’s a bluepilled statement you’re giving us there, Mr. Hotdog.” Yes and no. In almost all cases, these feelings are just sexual attraction in disguise, or, for non-erotic love (the love we have for our family), maybe it’s just the indirect preservation of the genes we share with them. But I believe there are few people capable of more.
But let’s be clear, the blackpill, meaning the collection of statistical data, evolutionary psychology, anthropology, and biology, is indeed brutal but REAL. When I wanted to clarify certain points, in case you came across my profile, don’t fall into the opposite extreme. I believe that the vast majority of women are particularly superficial and only have regard for a minority of men who are sufficiently genetically gifted, for whom they feel genuine attraction, or for a minority of men who are wealthy enough to attract materialistic women. However, it’s true that “unicorns” do exist. The problem is that after a certain point, we no longer have the strength to keep looking for them.
My fellow brocels, I wish you to cope well. I hope that some of you will come across a "unicorn," and that you will be loved. I may give the impression that I'm putting this feeling on an exaggerated pedestal. I don't believe that being loved by a nice girl can solve all problems. But life is hard enough to require being supported by two. The love I'm talking about allows, I think, to be able to reach the next day. One more day than me. And not only that, it gives, as I was saying, a meaning to this lost-in-advance struggle, because it's beautiful to lose as a pair.
I am entering the final phase of my life. In a few weeks, I will be dead, either from sadness or suicide. As I enter this phase, I no longer even feel the urge to post here. I have never felt so sad in my life; I am exhausted. I am crying all the tears I should have cried over the past few years, but I was too numb for them to come out. Everything feels heavier. It's like gravity has been multiplied by three. I've always loved eating, perhaps too much, but I can't even eat anymore. I feel hunger, but the knot in my stomach prevents me from satisfying it. I feel like I'm going to vomit constantly. My throat is tight. I am BROKEN. I don't feel hate, but rather immense fatigue and fear as well. I can't concentrate anymore; my sleep is disastrous. I thought my last post would be more elaborate, but my brain is literally melted. I don't feel like doing anything anymore; I sit for hours staring into the void. I am terrified at the thought of not being able to go through with it and being stuck in this nightmare.
In a few weeks, I will have an opportunity to be alone to do it properly.
I am not asking for a permanent ban. If I haven't returned by November 15th, it's because I am dead, by a 12-gauge shotgun shell, chambered in 70mm, containing 16 pellets with a diameter of 7.4mm and a total mass of 38g. So, after that date, feel free to permanently ban me if that's the usual procedure for deceased members.
I will now try to mentally prepare myself, in the hopes of departing with at least some peace. I’ll just keep chatting on Discord with a few brocels.
I expect you to mock me if, despite this pathetic message, I end up changing my mind. If that happens, don't hesitate to do so. I need all the suicide fuel available to leave this joke.
To those close to me, who may read my posts in horror and wonder if everything is literal, the answer is no. I trust your intelligence to discern as you know me :
The obscure forums of the internet are strange places, where sometimes people make jokes about topics that might seem inappropriate. I can help you discern, by the way: Yes, I’ve felt some hatred toward women (the better term would be “resentment”), but no, I’ve never seriously considered hurting anyone.
And no when I say that seing women being beheaded it's "lifefuel" it is not serious, in this example I just want to express the resentment I mentioned earlier, BUT IT’S A FREAKING FORUM, people say things in a comedic way sometimes! I’m like everyone else, seeing someone get decapitated is stressful , but saying the opposite is a way to vent when you're angry.
In that case I’ve only expressed my negative emotions about the world in an exaggerated way through writing . And that’s actually the case for the vast majority of incels! I even think violent behavior in real life is underrepresented in this community, which is clearly mostly made up of people who are quite kind, though bitter and frustrated. But what could be more normal with the lives we lead, deprived of the most fundamental, the deepest of emotions, the one that gives meaning to the others: love.
Without this “love,” our lives are literally as meaningless as one might imagine when watching documentaries about space, where the realization of cosmic scales is both awe-inspiring and depressing. We then think, “everything is vanity,” even the pharaoh is now just dust, “what a tragedy!” But then comes the second part of the reflection: Even if everything was just matter, even if everything was determined since the Big Bang, there remains a certain beauty in this feeling. Yes, we are attracted to bodies, yes, we are manipulated by our genes to propagate them, but it seems to me that nature slipped up with our species and mistakenly granted us the ability to feel things that seem to transcend these rational considerations.
“But that’s a bluepilled statement you’re giving us there, Mr. Hotdog.” Yes and no. In almost all cases, these feelings are just sexual attraction in disguise, or, for non-erotic love (the love we have for our family), maybe it’s just the indirect preservation of the genes we share with them. But I believe there are few people capable of more.
But let’s be clear, the blackpill, meaning the collection of statistical data, evolutionary psychology, anthropology, and biology, is indeed brutal but REAL. When I wanted to clarify certain points, in case you came across my profile, don’t fall into the opposite extreme. I believe that the vast majority of women are particularly superficial and only have regard for a minority of men who are sufficiently genetically gifted, for whom they feel genuine attraction, or for a minority of men who are wealthy enough to attract materialistic women. However, it’s true that “unicorns” do exist. The problem is that after a certain point, we no longer have the strength to keep looking for them.
My fellow brocels, I wish you to cope well. I hope that some of you will come across a "unicorn," and that you will be loved. I may give the impression that I'm putting this feeling on an exaggerated pedestal. I don't believe that being loved by a nice girl can solve all problems. But life is hard enough to require being supported by two. The love I'm talking about allows, I think, to be able to reach the next day. One more day than me. And not only that, it gives, as I was saying, a meaning to this lost-in-advance struggle, because it's beautiful to lose as a pair.
