I can already see how I'm going to be told this is cope but I wanted to come back here after not posting since 2018 to discuss this shit. and dont tell me this is some bluepilled shit either because bluepilled normies would be sitting here right now telling me how coomerism is good. now let me get into my actual post:
I discovered the actual reason I'm fucking miserable is because of one word: sin. I lived the incel 4chan autist lifestyle for 10+ years, fapping 2, 3, 4, maybe 5??? times a day and looking at porn. wake up, 4chan for 10-12 hours mixed with multiple coom sessions, repeat. all while NEET of course (failed out of college from the coom btw) all this porn of course made me a coomer retard and stunted me mentally and probably physically, causing coombrain and fatigue, sleeping 12+ hours a day becase im exhausted from the coom. I tried to get a job one time and had to quit because I couldnt run the cash register because my coombrain made it impossible for me to count change. now let me fast forward some
one day when I was in my gooncave, gooning out on an adderal edging session, I somehow came across a sermon titled: "The Little Number of Those Who Are Saved: By St. Leonard Port Maurice
" I really cannot tell you how I came across this shit. Who the FUCK knows how I came across this shit in my edging adderal goon session?? But I read it all, and I somehow knew that god was telling right then and right there: "if you continue this coomer lifestyle, you're going to hell" Plain and fucking simple. And you know what? I knew I fucking deserved it.
Now I've always waxed and waned believing in God, I've had some experiences, he's answered my prayers sometimes, but I was mostly agnostic still. So after this, I was of course shaken to my core. Imagine being tortured for literally forever because I can't stop gooning? I had to do something. So since I was already catholic I went back to confession and felt like it was some giant weight lifted off of my shoudlers, I somehow felt normal again and less miserable. Then I kept coming across random quotes from saints, like a St. Thomas quote where he said "if you're living in sin, you're going to be miserable."
let's fast forward this shit again
so I tried kicking the goon, falling back into the goon on and off, but mostly repenting for the most part. then one day I came across some schizo tier website with some schizo ass people talking about this thing called The Warning, and there was a book where people talked about it. now you can call this cope and say its psychological priming but I know it's not. Basically there is some prophesy from multiple catholic saints and people where God is going to pick one day, and sort of "stop time" for 10-15minutes and show everyone how fucked up they are essentially, show them all of their sins, forgiven and unforgiven, and then show them how their soul looks to god, and show them what eternal destination they would end up in if they died in that moment (your will is fixed forever when you die, you can't repent after you are dead, thats why god tries so hard while you're still alive).
basically, the world is so degenerate, and so beyond the "normal" means of restoring society(I think everyone here knows this), He is going to have to manifest himself to literally everyone on the planet earth at the same time and warn us all to stop our bullshit. also in this prophecy, redditors and bluepilled media and normies will tell people it's some kind of "mass delusion" and some will keep choosing the goon and degenerate lifestyles after this event.
so of course I blew this shit off because its frankly schizo shit. I am talking totally blew it off, I dismissed it and didn't think about it at all. then like 5-6 months later I fell asleep on the floor one night. I had this dream I was walking around outside on a city street and there were people on it. all of a sudden, this shit turned from a dream into my soul literally getting sucked and vacuumed out of my body. it felt like I was looking up at something VERY high up, imagine being at the base of Mt. Everest but 100000ft taller, looking up at the whole mountain, except this mountain was covered in smoke. it was like looking up at the sistene chapel dome, I felt VERY puny compared to this giant thing that I'm summoned before.
then I felt it. my soul literally started to burn for a few seconds.
then my soul got sucked back into my body inside the dream. and guess what? inside the dream, this happened to everyone around me at the same time, and happened to everyone in the world at the same time. people were crying and screaming and shitting their pants, some were oddly calm, others shook. then I woke up.
and what did I feel like when I woke up? I sat there for a few seconds confused, then I felt it. my soul, it felt like someone stabbed straight through my soul a sword of hot iron, and I felt this burning for hours afterwards, and then an intense fear of God hit me. I now realize why people call God "mighty." there is no words to describe his mightyness.
and now what am I doing? I am still a miserable piece of shit, but I will tell you what, I have significantly toned down on the gooning, I have been able to go very long streaks without goon and even masturbating, I have stopped being racist(I realized its a sin, and the hatred and racebait part is the sin, actual biological differences can and do exist) I have stopped going on 4chan(you're here forever is bullshit cope by people who don't want to quit), I have stopped having a degenerate sleep pattern, I have stopped being a NEET, dare I say it, I have stopped blaming other people for my problems, because I realize God doesn't accept bullshit excuses, he put you exactly where you were and knew what kind of bullshit cards you were going to be dealt and He gives you plenty of help to overcome them, I've stopped being resentful and bitter about missing out on sex and women (anger and resentment is a poison to the soul) I have forgiven all the people who have fucked me up in life, I have started to pray more so I can stop gooning and lusting(its extremely HARD to not lust after women when they all wear leggings and yoga pants now, there was an Orthodox monk from 1930s who said modern men who resisted lust in today's modern degenerate society would be counted among the Martrys when they die) I have got a normie job at a supermarket, and dare I say it, I have a little bit of joy in my life now that I know I can be forgiven by God for my degeneracy if I am truly sorry even if I fuck up and do it again as long as I get back on the road to not being a coomer degenerate. I also know that Jesus himself was very miserable too and in a weird way we can grow close to him in the misery that is life and the misery turns into joy. I heard a sermon one time where the preacher said "people are afraid to suffer, just accept it if you cant do anything about it" well one time I was feeling especially miserable and I literally told god sincerely, "okay god, I'll feel miserable if that's what you want" and I instantly felt better.
go ahead and tell me its cope. go ahead and somehow spin this as bluepill(we all know the bluepilled normies love hearing about god and the reality of sin) go ahead and tell me I'm miserable because of some circumstance I was born into (bluepilled mindset)
I am a miserable FUCK because of sin and nothing else. Discuss and go ahead and tell me why I'm retarded, I can't be convinced otherwise.