Feel like life's not worth living anymore. I am fat af but I know I have recessed infraorbital, lateral orbital rims and mandible, so my bone structure won't look good either. Maybe I can get up-to LTN if I am lucky lmao, which is still shit, maybe people will be a little nicer and women won't avoid me as much. But I will still be as undateable and unloveable as ever. I will never get to experience true desire from a woman, I will never get the pleasure of looking down a street and mogging everyone I see. I will never receive favorable judgements on my personality because of my looks, never have people vying to be my friend, never get preferential treatment anywhere from anyone, that is all reserved for HTN+. Even with surgery nothing higher than MTN will ever happen, and that's with a lot of pain, money and risk. I just wish I could have eaten a proper diet, mewed, completed my braces treatment without breaking too many brackets and quitting halfway, wasn't born with a missing tooth on my right upper jaw, wasn't curry, didn't suffer autism. I could have had a better-looking face and my nose and other facial features wouldn't have been destroyed by puberty. Maybe this was my destiny and that's all could have ever happened, I will be stuck with this ugly ass male face forever
What's the point in living? If someone here could help me find an online drug dealer, I would purchase a shit ton of fetanyl and end my life ASAP. Unfortunately, it's very hard to get drugs when you don't know people, unlike all the NTs who know real drug dealers. I considered ODing on kratom but it's far too unlikely. I had an opportunity to OD on opoids once and I refused to take it, even flushed all the pills down the toilet. Now I find myself really regretting the decision after realizing it's over for me. Worst part is I gotta go to work tomorrow, where I am ignored and avoided by everyone. I suppose at least I can pass time and feel productive, I am even more depressed at home.
What's the point in living? If someone here could help me find an online drug dealer, I would purchase a shit ton of fetanyl and end my life ASAP. Unfortunately, it's very hard to get drugs when you don't know people, unlike all the NTs who know real drug dealers. I considered ODing on kratom but it's far too unlikely. I had an opportunity to OD on opoids once and I refused to take it, even flushed all the pills down the toilet. Now I find myself really regretting the decision after realizing it's over for me. Worst part is I gotta go to work tomorrow, where I am ignored and avoided by everyone. I suppose at least I can pass time and feel productive, I am even more depressed at home.
