I used to have a new crush every other week or two. Whether it would be a cute k-pop girl I'd fall in love with that week or a video game character, I always had a female to fantasize being with.
Since finishing through the five stages of grief from the blackpill, I haven't had an actual crush in a year. Now anytime I try to fantasize myself with a foid my brain gets distracted and starts thinking about photoshoot ideas for my action figures, or how to get better at a video game I like or something else like that. I miss that feeling of getting crushes. I think part of it is because my brain can no longer bypass my delusions and it thinks more logically. Example, I was thinking about Heejin from Loona yesterday and my brain immediately said "never in a million years will a girl like that, or any girl at all be interested in me in a romantic relationship" And instantly those thoughts went away instantly.
My porn taste reflects this too. I used to be into lovey dovey shit with "muh, eye contact" or "muh, kissing," now I just want to watch her tits bounce while she rides. Knowing a woman will never love me in a way where she wants to hold my hand or kiss me breaks my heart so much, that now I just don't even think about it and put all my focus on her tits and ass.
Since finishing through the five stages of grief from the blackpill, I haven't had an actual crush in a year. Now anytime I try to fantasize myself with a foid my brain gets distracted and starts thinking about photoshoot ideas for my action figures, or how to get better at a video game I like or something else like that. I miss that feeling of getting crushes. I think part of it is because my brain can no longer bypass my delusions and it thinks more logically. Example, I was thinking about Heejin from Loona yesterday and my brain immediately said "never in a million years will a girl like that, or any girl at all be interested in me in a romantic relationship" And instantly those thoughts went away instantly.
My porn taste reflects this too. I used to be into lovey dovey shit with "muh, eye contact" or "muh, kissing," now I just want to watch her tits bounce while she rides. Knowing a woman will never love me in a way where she wants to hold my hand or kiss me breaks my heart so much, that now I just don't even think about it and put all my focus on her tits and ass.
