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Venting FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. IM SO FUCKING MAD

opsec

opsec

Captain
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cant FUCKING TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE. FUCKING BEING ALONE EVERY DAY. NO WIFE. NO RESPECT ANYWHERE IN THIS BARREN LAND OF APOSTASY.

IM FUCKING SELF IMPLODING IN EMOTION. I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT. THE LACK OF AFFECTION. THE LACK OF HUMAN TOUCH. THE LACK OF BEING DESIRED.

I DONT FUCKING CHOOSE TO REVOLVE MY HAPPINESS AROUND BEING ACCEPTED. ITS DRILLED INTO HUMAN FUCKING NATURE.

I NEVER FUCKING SWEAR LIKE THIS EVER BUT I CANT FUCKING HANDLE IT, ASTAGHFIRALLAH ALLAH FORGIVE ME BUT I CANT HOLD IT IN.

FUCCCKKKKKKKKK FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF UUUUUUUUUUUU CCCCCCCCCCCCCC KKKKKKKKKKKKKK

FUCKING FUCK MY SHIT UP FAM. JUST. I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE. I NEED A FUCKING WIFE, I NEED TO FEEL LOVED AND ACCEPTED, I NEED A FAMILY WHO CARES FOR EACH OTHER. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF IT, FUCK IT, FUCK THIS DUNYA. I WANT TO LEAVE. I WANT TO GO TO JANNAH ALREADY INSHAALLAH.

THIS IS TOO PAINFUL. I FEEL A PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF PAIN IN MY CHEST AND IT GROWS EVERY DAY. YESTERDAY FOR 15 MINUTES IT FELT LIKE A TUMOR WAS GROWING IN MY CHEST. I HAD SUCH A SEARING PAIN, AND WALLAHI, IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF LACK OF AFFECTION AND LOVE.

PLEASE MAKE DUA FOR ME BROS, PLEASE ,PLEASE. THIS IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME THIS FITNAH. I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN GO WITHOUT LOSING IT.
 
It could be worse, you could be as tall as a 12 years old girl, thats my life
 
This is but the passing stage. Victory is ahead of us, and we must give all our Qurbani for it!
 
The end for all of us is the same: Dying alone. I myself am only a few steps away from pulling the trigger. The loneliness is numbing. The thoughts are tiring. When will it end? When I say it does. Why not speed up the inevitable?
IT IS ABSOLUTELY SOUL SHATTERING. IT IS HONESTLY INTERFERRING WITH MY IMAN. IT HURTS SO SO MUCH.
 
i dont know how much longer this can keep going. im seriously depressed guys.

i wont sui, wallahi. but the pain is so deep. some nights when everything is dark, i just think about how undesired i am. i just cry into the pillow. i feel the tears of sorrow going, but i also feel the angels looking upon me and caring and concern for me. thats the only thing i care. Allah loves me, and he does want to fix it. i have faith he will bless me inshAAllah.

i want Jannah, as soon as possible. wallahi i want Jannah, im going to try my best to do everything he commanded for me to do. this is such a fitnah. im hurting brothers. its getting rougher and rougher.
 
like i literally cant stop typing. it hurts so much.

the other day i was not only hurt by inceldom, but my own sins which are between me and Allah. i constantly manage to dissappoint him. i woke up, and cried. went to the shower, kept crying. it was weeps of guilt and cries for forgiveness.
 
take it easy buddy you might explode if your blood pressure gets too high then how willl you make jihad
 
how the fuck are we supposed to cope?
 
" IM SO FUCKING MAD" lol I couldnt tell.
 
Its ogre. Just be apathetic bro
 

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