What was frustrating for me is that being a good or bad person has nothing to do with whether you are alone or not. There are millions of bad people, even legitimately evil people, who are not alone because they are at least moderately attractive. Rapists, murderers, nazis etc who have no problem at all forming relationships because they pass the looks threshold. There are also millions of people who are alone because they are unattractive, some of whom are 'good' and some 'bad' people. So why in almost every discussion of it does there have to be so much emphasis on the actions or morality of the person who is lonely, and so little about the objective cause of their problem? I honestly don't understand the need to avoid the root cause of the problem. This is coming from someone who tried following all the of the usual advice for 5 + years with no results. More in the hope of having some kind or intimate connection with another person, and maybe starting a family, than about sex. Because if it is just about sex then you can pay for that or whatever.
You might say, well obviously I was a misogynist, or narcissist, or lacking confidence, or just boring or stupid, or self pitying all along and that caused my failure. But again, people with any of those defects, can and do easily form relationships, if they are even moderately attractive. Raging on the internet about how unfair life is won't do anything to help me. Just be honest to young men, please. If you are honest to them it will be easier for them to accept it and find other ways of creating meaning in their lives. Or if they can't accept it, they can end it without having to go through years of false hope and humiliation first. For the kids who are just growing up now it will be worse than it was for me, please be honest to them.
