Until now, the only fights I got in were the "rage burst" ones, which were very few, and very short, school fights. I always avoided fights, because I just never felt like it.
But lately, due to a long period of time living in constant rage because of having a narrow frame, I am starting to develop a genuine desire for fighting. I don't mean even winning fights: I just want to fuck up wider overprivileged males. I want to fuck up males who may see me as inferior due to frame.
What's stopping me in going full beligerent mode is the fear of getting my face deformed or my teeth ruined. I don't care about the pain, or the wounds, or if I lost some fights, I only fear extremely any decrease in looks, beause it would leave me at truecel level.
I am really surprised about this. I always avoided fights before not only for the fear of getting face fucked up but because I didnt desire them at all anyways. But now, its like when you KNOW eating would relieve your hunger or drinking your thirst. I know that targeting and fighting bigger males who disrespect me in any way regardless of I win or lose would help me relieve this constant anger I live with. It's frustrating because before I didnt want it at all, but now im still stuck due to extreme fear of lowering looks even more. I fucking wish I had some sort of face insurance which would ensure my face is never permanently fucked up from a fight.
I just have a deep desire for causing harm and pain to wider males, and for them to know that it was a narrow framecel who wounded them. Ideally winning fights and getting to dominate physically cocky wide males.
I want to hurt privileged males.
But lately, due to a long period of time living in constant rage because of having a narrow frame, I am starting to develop a genuine desire for fighting. I don't mean even winning fights: I just want to fuck up wider overprivileged males. I want to fuck up males who may see me as inferior due to frame.
What's stopping me in going full beligerent mode is the fear of getting my face deformed or my teeth ruined. I don't care about the pain, or the wounds, or if I lost some fights, I only fear extremely any decrease in looks, beause it would leave me at truecel level.
I am really surprised about this. I always avoided fights before not only for the fear of getting face fucked up but because I didnt desire them at all anyways. But now, its like when you KNOW eating would relieve your hunger or drinking your thirst. I know that targeting and fighting bigger males who disrespect me in any way regardless of I win or lose would help me relieve this constant anger I live with. It's frustrating because before I didnt want it at all, but now im still stuck due to extreme fear of lowering looks even more. I fucking wish I had some sort of face insurance which would ensure my face is never permanently fucked up from a fight.
I just have a deep desire for causing harm and pain to wider males, and for them to know that it was a narrow framecel who wounded them. Ideally winning fights and getting to dominate physically cocky wide males.
I want to hurt privileged males.
