Brutal post from reddit.
I don't even know why I'm typing this. I am so heartbroken that I can't see a promise of tomorrow. Lexi (not her real name) and I have been together all of our lives, literally. Our Mothers are best friends and were sorority sisters. She and I are actually only 4 months apart in age, I just turned 18 and she will in October.
We have been friends since we were kids and we became romantically involved with one another at 14. We have been with each other almost every day since. We are very young so obviously we both know that marriage wasn't on the immediate horizon but we have talked and planned and dreamed about it for years.
Both of our family's attend the same church and through that we both decided that we would wait at least until we were out of our parents homes to actually go all of the way. Believe me it wasn't always my idea and there was more than one time I asked to break that but she is the one who held firm. God I feel like such a fucking loser just typing that.
We even both got into the same college to attend this fall and we were going to try and match up our schedules as much as possible. That is all gone to shit now.
She had a chance to go to a 2 week leadership conference this summer and it was a great opportunity for her. Of course I was going to miss her and be sad that she was gone but what is 2 weeks right. RIGHT?
My cousin, also a girl, was at the same camp and Lexi new her very well so they were planning on rooming together and hanging out. First couple of days there things seem fine. We text and Skype during the day and at night before she went to bed. Then day 3 she only text me a couple of times but tells me she is very busy with her schedule so I tell her that I'm fine if she just wants to Skype with me at night before we go to bed and I will be fine.
A couple of days go by and I get radio silence from her. She isn't answering my text or my Skype request. I get a text from my cousin which made me start to hyperventilate. She tells me that a guy from the camp had been hitting on my g/f hot and heavy since almost the first moment they arrived. She said my g/f initially gave him the cold shoulder but over the past two days she has not seen my g/f a lot and she has been coming back to their room later and acts like she immediately falls asleep.
So I text Lexi telling her that I am very concerned that she isn't contacting me and want to know if there is anything wrong. Nothing. Then finally the next day I get another text from her telling me that she is sorry for not contacting me, she has been very busy and has been involved in a leadership group in the evenings so she hasn't been able to Skype with me. (yes I know that is bullshit, believe me I know).
Time goes on and she now gives me a few random meaningless text during the day talking about nonsense like nothing is going on. She does it at time she knows I can't respond (working a summer job) and doesn't respond when I try and text her.
My cousin text me telling me that she is acting very sketchy and sends me a photo of her and this guy standing and talking. The photo itself is not incriminating because it is just them standing and talking with several other people around. However my cousin wanted me to see who he was.
The last three days of their camp my cousin said that she had changed personalities altogether. She went from being happy and bubbly to being withdrawn and she said she could hear her crying at night. Once again she is radio silent with me.
My cousin finally asked her on the last night there what was wrong with her and all she would tell he is that she had really messed up and didn't know what to do but never told her what. My cousin said that she never saw her and that guy together the rest of the camp before they left.
She got back Tuesday night and she texted me that she was home but was going to bed as she was tired and would talk to me Wednesday. I had to work till 7 on Wednesday so I said I would come over after work. She texted back saying she was going with her family to her grandma's and she was just going to come over today (Thursday).
She got here at my house around 1 and my entire world crumbled on me at 1:15. She tried initially to act like nothing was wrong but when I hugged her I could feel her trembling and she started crying.
She told me that while she was at camp she had developed a relationship with someone from out of state and that they had been hanging out the first week and a half they were there. Obviously I was upset and showed her the photo on my phone. She went very pale and wanted to know how I got that, then she remembered my cousin was there and she started sobbing asking me how long I knew.
I told her that when she stopped texting me I got concerned but thought she was just busy.
At this point in time I had no idea how far things had gone. I thought she developed a crush and that she liked him or spent time with him and while I didn't want to think about it I thought there might be an off chance she might kiss him.
I was not prepared for what she told me. I asked how far things had gotten and she started crying even harder. I started to panic and asked again.
She then told me between tears that they had gone all the way. But then threw in that it was only once, like I was supposed to be okay with that.
I wish I could tell you that I did or said something manly here but I just started crying harder than she did.
How could she do this to me? Why would she do this to us?
When I started crying she tried to come and hug me but I pushed her away and told her not to touch me. I then told her to leave and she started begging me to not do this to let her stay and talk about this.
I honestly could not understand what she was saying for the most part. Between her crying and my crying and honestly my head was a blur. But she kept telling me she loved me and that she was so sorry and would do anything to make this up to me.
I should have picked her up and threw her out but I didn't. I just sat there and cried for almost a half hour. All the while she is talking and trying to hug me, which I would not allow.
Then she did the one thing that actually made me stop crying.
She offered to have sex with me.
I simply told her that she obviously did not understand that we were done, she killed us and I had no desire to be with her in any capacity. That I waited for her and she stabbed me in the back the first moment she got a chance. Then I asked why him and not me, why was I punished all of those nights and this guy in less than a weeks time was able to get to where I was not able to go for all of these years.
She couldn't answer, she just set there. I then said it was time to go as there was nothing else for us to say. She wanted to know what we were going to tell our family's? Like I said this wasn't a relationship that was hidden. We set together at church, all of our friends are tied together and our family's to this day frequently go to each others houses.
I agreed to not say anything yet till we can come up with something. I have no idea why I agreed to that, I think I just had weak moment. But there is no way I can hide this. So now I have to decide if I'm going to just say we broke up (which no one is going to believe) or if I tell the truth. Right now I'm leaning towards the truth. I didn't do anything wrong here and I do not want to get any shit or blame if people get upset by us not being together because this is going to change our lives. I don't want to see her again. Honestly if I could go the rest of my life without seeing her I would be happy. But Sunday is two days away and everybody will see everybody and most like will try and go out after church to lunch.
But on a more personal point, I am devastated. I loved her so much, I never saw myself with anyone else and now that is over. All I can do is see them in my mind whenever I close my eyes. Obviously I don't measure up. She has shattered whatever self esteem I had. The kick to this is I learned tonight from my cousin that this guy was with another girl by the end of the camp. So in other words he got what he wanted and left her.
She sent me a video email about two hours ago. She was begging me to give her another chance and finally closed by saying that if I couldn't forgive her or be with her that she really wanted to be friends because she couldn't imagine her life without me in it.
Is it wrong that I actually hate her right now. I mean viscerally hate her. I feel like she just robbed me of my entire high school life.
Sorry for going on for so long.
TLDR: Lifelong childhood GF cheats at camp with some random guy
Not even being childhood sweathearts is enough to not be cheated on anymore.
The blackpill always come to collect
I don't even know why I'm typing this. I am so heartbroken that I can't see a promise of tomorrow. Lexi (not her real name) and I have been together all of our lives, literally. Our Mothers are best friends and were sorority sisters. She and I are actually only 4 months apart in age, I just turned 18 and she will in October.
We have been friends since we were kids and we became romantically involved with one another at 14. We have been with each other almost every day since. We are very young so obviously we both know that marriage wasn't on the immediate horizon but we have talked and planned and dreamed about it for years.
Both of our family's attend the same church and through that we both decided that we would wait at least until we were out of our parents homes to actually go all of the way. Believe me it wasn't always my idea and there was more than one time I asked to break that but she is the one who held firm. God I feel like such a fucking loser just typing that.
We even both got into the same college to attend this fall and we were going to try and match up our schedules as much as possible. That is all gone to shit now.
She had a chance to go to a 2 week leadership conference this summer and it was a great opportunity for her. Of course I was going to miss her and be sad that she was gone but what is 2 weeks right. RIGHT?
My cousin, also a girl, was at the same camp and Lexi new her very well so they were planning on rooming together and hanging out. First couple of days there things seem fine. We text and Skype during the day and at night before she went to bed. Then day 3 she only text me a couple of times but tells me she is very busy with her schedule so I tell her that I'm fine if she just wants to Skype with me at night before we go to bed and I will be fine.
A couple of days go by and I get radio silence from her. She isn't answering my text or my Skype request. I get a text from my cousin which made me start to hyperventilate. She tells me that a guy from the camp had been hitting on my g/f hot and heavy since almost the first moment they arrived. She said my g/f initially gave him the cold shoulder but over the past two days she has not seen my g/f a lot and she has been coming back to their room later and acts like she immediately falls asleep.
So I text Lexi telling her that I am very concerned that she isn't contacting me and want to know if there is anything wrong. Nothing. Then finally the next day I get another text from her telling me that she is sorry for not contacting me, she has been very busy and has been involved in a leadership group in the evenings so she hasn't been able to Skype with me. (yes I know that is bullshit, believe me I know).
Time goes on and she now gives me a few random meaningless text during the day talking about nonsense like nothing is going on. She does it at time she knows I can't respond (working a summer job) and doesn't respond when I try and text her.
My cousin text me telling me that she is acting very sketchy and sends me a photo of her and this guy standing and talking. The photo itself is not incriminating because it is just them standing and talking with several other people around. However my cousin wanted me to see who he was.
The last three days of their camp my cousin said that she had changed personalities altogether. She went from being happy and bubbly to being withdrawn and she said she could hear her crying at night. Once again she is radio silent with me.
My cousin finally asked her on the last night there what was wrong with her and all she would tell he is that she had really messed up and didn't know what to do but never told her what. My cousin said that she never saw her and that guy together the rest of the camp before they left.
She got back Tuesday night and she texted me that she was home but was going to bed as she was tired and would talk to me Wednesday. I had to work till 7 on Wednesday so I said I would come over after work. She texted back saying she was going with her family to her grandma's and she was just going to come over today (Thursday).
She got here at my house around 1 and my entire world crumbled on me at 1:15. She tried initially to act like nothing was wrong but when I hugged her I could feel her trembling and she started crying.
She told me that while she was at camp she had developed a relationship with someone from out of state and that they had been hanging out the first week and a half they were there. Obviously I was upset and showed her the photo on my phone. She went very pale and wanted to know how I got that, then she remembered my cousin was there and she started sobbing asking me how long I knew.
I told her that when she stopped texting me I got concerned but thought she was just busy.
At this point in time I had no idea how far things had gone. I thought she developed a crush and that she liked him or spent time with him and while I didn't want to think about it I thought there might be an off chance she might kiss him.
I was not prepared for what she told me. I asked how far things had gotten and she started crying even harder. I started to panic and asked again.
She then told me between tears that they had gone all the way. But then threw in that it was only once, like I was supposed to be okay with that.
I wish I could tell you that I did or said something manly here but I just started crying harder than she did.
How could she do this to me? Why would she do this to us?
When I started crying she tried to come and hug me but I pushed her away and told her not to touch me. I then told her to leave and she started begging me to not do this to let her stay and talk about this.
I honestly could not understand what she was saying for the most part. Between her crying and my crying and honestly my head was a blur. But she kept telling me she loved me and that she was so sorry and would do anything to make this up to me.
I should have picked her up and threw her out but I didn't. I just sat there and cried for almost a half hour. All the while she is talking and trying to hug me, which I would not allow.
Then she did the one thing that actually made me stop crying.
She offered to have sex with me.
I simply told her that she obviously did not understand that we were done, she killed us and I had no desire to be with her in any capacity. That I waited for her and she stabbed me in the back the first moment she got a chance. Then I asked why him and not me, why was I punished all of those nights and this guy in less than a weeks time was able to get to where I was not able to go for all of these years.
She couldn't answer, she just set there. I then said it was time to go as there was nothing else for us to say. She wanted to know what we were going to tell our family's? Like I said this wasn't a relationship that was hidden. We set together at church, all of our friends are tied together and our family's to this day frequently go to each others houses.
I agreed to not say anything yet till we can come up with something. I have no idea why I agreed to that, I think I just had weak moment. But there is no way I can hide this. So now I have to decide if I'm going to just say we broke up (which no one is going to believe) or if I tell the truth. Right now I'm leaning towards the truth. I didn't do anything wrong here and I do not want to get any shit or blame if people get upset by us not being together because this is going to change our lives. I don't want to see her again. Honestly if I could go the rest of my life without seeing her I would be happy. But Sunday is two days away and everybody will see everybody and most like will try and go out after church to lunch.
But on a more personal point, I am devastated. I loved her so much, I never saw myself with anyone else and now that is over. All I can do is see them in my mind whenever I close my eyes. Obviously I don't measure up. She has shattered whatever self esteem I had. The kick to this is I learned tonight from my cousin that this guy was with another girl by the end of the camp. So in other words he got what he wanted and left her.
She sent me a video email about two hours ago. She was begging me to give her another chance and finally closed by saying that if I couldn't forgive her or be with her that she really wanted to be friends because she couldn't imagine her life without me in it.
Is it wrong that I actually hate her right now. I mean viscerally hate her. I feel like she just robbed me of my entire high school life.
Sorry for going on for so long.
TLDR: Lifelong childhood GF cheats at camp with some random guy
Not even being childhood sweathearts is enough to not be cheated on anymore.
The blackpill always come to collect
