Today I sat away from my main team, almost merging with another department to avoid the forced socializing.
A white female coworker (30s, mom, very petite, MTB face) came up from behind me while I was at my desk. No warning, she just smacks my upper arm, gives a little wave. I responded with an autistic "Hi," and she walked away. No further conversation.
She usually says hi to me, but other times she'll completely ignore me. My analysis of her motive:
Passive-Aggressive Disapproval: She might be slightly annoyed and feels betrayed that I'm being "antisocial" by sitting away from our designated group, and also because she hasn’t seen me in weeks because I’ve been working from home to avoid the Normie office environment. This was her way to remind me I'm not fully invisible.
Maternal Pity: I’m the quiet, socially awkward loner and her motherly instincts kick in. It's not genuine friendliness, it's a condescending pat on the head for the office weirdo to make herself feel like a good person.
Testing Boundaries: It’s a probe to see how much disrespect I'll tolerate. It's a power move wrapped in a smile.
I didn't like it. I don't like being touched unexpectedly. It feels invasive and disrespectful.
And we already know what would’ve happened if the roles were reversed.
Shall I report her?
A white female coworker (30s, mom, very petite, MTB face) came up from behind me while I was at my desk. No warning, she just smacks my upper arm, gives a little wave. I responded with an autistic "Hi," and she walked away. No further conversation.
She usually says hi to me, but other times she'll completely ignore me. My analysis of her motive:
Passive-Aggressive Disapproval: She might be slightly annoyed and feels betrayed that I'm being "antisocial" by sitting away from our designated group, and also because she hasn’t seen me in weeks because I’ve been working from home to avoid the Normie office environment. This was her way to remind me I'm not fully invisible.
Maternal Pity: I’m the quiet, socially awkward loner and her motherly instincts kick in. It's not genuine friendliness, it's a condescending pat on the head for the office weirdo to make herself feel like a good person.
Testing Boundaries: It’s a probe to see how much disrespect I'll tolerate. It's a power move wrapped in a smile.
I didn't like it. I don't like being touched unexpectedly. It feels invasive and disrespectful.
And we already know what would’ve happened if the roles were reversed.
Shall I report her?
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