My first blackpill came when I was on some student organization event with a good looking schoolmate of mine. School sent us there. He was a Chad, and I was very ugly back then (I'm still ugly). We were both in highschool back then. There were girls on this event who didn't even want to introduce themselves to me, while flocking to him and immediately starting to flirt and praising him for "his skills in student politics and other things" and flirtatiously smiling at him.Couple of times during event I observed these girls carefully, and more than once I noticed that they are secretly watching me and are disgusted with me. It was clearly visible on their faces.
Anyways, after this event there was a party and I wanted to go, because my Chad schoolmate promised me that I will be invited. I was not invited. When I asked him after the event why I wasn't invited, he blushed and told me, carefully choosing words, that it was "a private party and not everyone was allowed to go". That's when I understood there were invisible hierarchies in life, and that I am on the bottom of food chain. I was always an outcast, a loner, a loser. I was the only person in my highschool generation that didn't have a prom date. And still, I was enforced to go by my stupid family. You can imagine how I felt, watching from my humiliating position as all other seniors came with their prom dates (some even having two or three girls or boys with them), while I was all alone, fat, ugly, rejected. My stupid family even forced me to watch a video recording of prom night with them afterwards. You can imagine how I felt. I wanted to kill myself. Nothing changed since then, it only got worse.
Anyways, after this event there was a party and I wanted to go, because my Chad schoolmate promised me that I will be invited. I was not invited. When I asked him after the event why I wasn't invited, he blushed and told me, carefully choosing words, that it was "a private party and not everyone was allowed to go". That's when I understood there were invisible hierarchies in life, and that I am on the bottom of food chain. I was always an outcast, a loner, a loser. I was the only person in my highschool generation that didn't have a prom date. And still, I was enforced to go by my stupid family. You can imagine how I felt, watching from my humiliating position as all other seniors came with their prom dates (some even having two or three girls or boys with them), while I was all alone, fat, ugly, rejected. My stupid family even forced me to watch a video recording of prom night with them afterwards. You can imagine how I felt. I wanted to kill myself. Nothing changed since then, it only got worse.
