It disgusts me knowing that there are all of these organs, bones, veins, nerves etc. just dormant inside of me, keeping me alive just to suffer and if you interfere with your insides you suffer more. The spine is the most ugly collection of bones in the body, it looks like a disgusting alien creature. The human nervous-system is way too sensitive for comfort and there’s way too many torturous experiences for anyone to ever endure. Having fingers cut off, being burnt alive, having eyes gouged out, being gutted, having fingernails ripped off, having your genitals mutilated etc. the human body is like a torture vessel my conscious has attached itself to. Thousands of years ago, even just hundreds.. life would have been so unbearably cruel that it’s hard for me to even fathom how anyone had children. It’s like every human ever was just the result of a lustful man busting a nut in a woman through rape without a second thought. All of the horrible ways someone could die that I listed are possible and have occurred in history, imagine being boiled to death or stabbed in the face. The human body is just too weak, fragile and sensitive for comfort. Carrying all of these bones and organs around inside of me 24/7 feels so fucked, especially knowing some nihilistic psychopath could pop up out of the blue and torture me in unimaginable ways. Human consciousness is a curse, we have brief moments of feeling content and fulfilled but the human consciousness will spend 90% of its time (even as a Chad) working hard for something temporarily satisfactory.. pain, hunger, thirst, tiredness, sexual frustration.. I just don’t want to exist as what I am and don’t understand what I did to deserve this. I used to believe the world was a hell realm or matrix prison and would be memed and laughed at. But seriously; what makes life so liveable and great when it’s literally pointless effort and suffering .. you can’t prove that statement wrong unless you are stuck in cognitively dissonance
