I decided to visit my local church today which I haven't done in months. The people were friendly and accepting, and the sermon was about uncleanliness which was a matter I could identify with. Being there actually made me feel happy and refreshed. Then I was called to the altar to be baptised in the Holy Ghost. A fellow Christian waited behind me in case I fell down. The pastor put a hand on me and prayed, telling me I would speak in tongues. I thought it would happen too but then again, this is me, so automatically assume everything went wrong. And it did. The pastor soon realised that nothing was happening so he sent me away. I did a walk of shame back to my seat.
When I got home I just laid on my bed, utterly defeated and left with the realisation that even God rejects me. I always suspected I was a monster. The experience was humiliating. I guess the username really fits after all lol
My goal in life is to Christianmaxx to the point where I'm comfortable committing sui. After that, I'm checking out. My ultimate death fantasy is to be tortured and sacrificed to the Devil.
When I got home I just laid on my bed, utterly defeated and left with the realisation that even God rejects me. I always suspected I was a monster. The experience was humiliating. I guess the username really fits after all lol
My goal in life is to Christianmaxx to the point where I'm comfortable committing sui. After that, I'm checking out. My ultimate death fantasy is to be tortured and sacrificed to the Devil.
