It depends what Ascension means to anyone, I don't think I can form any meaningful long term relationships with anyone let alone a permanent one with a woman anymore. Ascension to me is very barebones, I just want to have unpaid sex with someone that is all. Therefore, race, ideology, personality, none of this really matters to me.
I wanna occultmaxx but I can't before I ascend. It's pointless to try to master your own mind when you are constantly harassed by your own body biology directive prime. I will not be free until I ascend, just permanently stuck in this fucked up state, this must end. If I can't ascend then at least I wanna go fuck some whores in Thailand like I will do soon, I can't tell if this will ease my mind and finally allow me to move on only one way to find out.
Perhaps I'll just remain an escortcel to keep my biology in check, or find a way to overcome it at last. It's very distracting. I want to see the places Tulpa showed me before I die, but I won't ever reach them in my mind the way I am now.