Inspired by a recent post here, I decided to look up on Facebook the person who was the biggest oneitis ever, 20 years ago when I was a first year uni student and so was she.
I thought I had met the perfect woman; sweet, cute, funny, cool, nerdy like me, not "hot" but she had a slim body, perky little boobs and a smile that just melted me.
Chad only, of course.
I was absolutely devastated, and I was an embarrassing simp for about a year afterwards, following her around, commenting on her shit, sending pathetic unsolicited e mails and bunches of flowers. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. I was pretty lucky she didn't get a restraining order on me in hindsight, she would have been justified in doing so.
Anyway, after that year of simping bordering on harassment, and then 3-4 years of just utter desolation, self pity and depression, I decided it was time to cram all of that in a box and throw it away. And I swung an missed with a couple more women after her, before the blackpill whispered in my ear that it's not about her, it's about me.
So I haven't even thought about her for years, and definitely didn't look her up on Facebook when that was invented, in case what I saw took me back into despair.
But something on here today motivated me to search her up, and I did it, and it was surprisingly cathartic. She seems happy today, but she is a childless, obese single lesbian who re-posts a lot of cutesy stuff about teaching children and a lot of generic left wing politics of envy crap.
So Chad hasn't been leading the life of my teenaged fantasies with her, and the wall has not been kind, and she's basically taken the NPC pill and seems just much less cool than she used to.
I just felt.. at peace with it all. Like, it turns out I wasn't really missing out on what I imagined I was missing out on. And even if I had got what I wanted then, it would have aged into a pretty grim and unsexy life to be shackled into by now.
I almost want to message her and apologise for the way I acted, and wish her well. Because I do unironically wish her well. But I won't do that, because that would take me back just a bit too close to the unsolicited, desperate simping from my worst time.
/story. Hope you weren't expecting there to be a point.
I thought I had met the perfect woman; sweet, cute, funny, cool, nerdy like me, not "hot" but she had a slim body, perky little boobs and a smile that just melted me.
Chad only, of course.
I was absolutely devastated, and I was an embarrassing simp for about a year afterwards, following her around, commenting on her shit, sending pathetic unsolicited e mails and bunches of flowers. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. I was pretty lucky she didn't get a restraining order on me in hindsight, she would have been justified in doing so.
Anyway, after that year of simping bordering on harassment, and then 3-4 years of just utter desolation, self pity and depression, I decided it was time to cram all of that in a box and throw it away. And I swung an missed with a couple more women after her, before the blackpill whispered in my ear that it's not about her, it's about me.
So I haven't even thought about her for years, and definitely didn't look her up on Facebook when that was invented, in case what I saw took me back into despair.
But something on here today motivated me to search her up, and I did it, and it was surprisingly cathartic. She seems happy today, but she is a childless, obese single lesbian who re-posts a lot of cutesy stuff about teaching children and a lot of generic left wing politics of envy crap.
So Chad hasn't been leading the life of my teenaged fantasies with her, and the wall has not been kind, and she's basically taken the NPC pill and seems just much less cool than she used to.
I just felt.. at peace with it all. Like, it turns out I wasn't really missing out on what I imagined I was missing out on. And even if I had got what I wanted then, it would have aged into a pretty grim and unsexy life to be shackled into by now.
I almost want to message her and apologise for the way I acted, and wish her well. Because I do unironically wish her well. But I won't do that, because that would take me back just a bit too close to the unsolicited, desperate simping from my worst time.
/story. Hope you weren't expecting there to be a point.
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