You can stop being an incel without a girlfriend
Advice
Hi guys! I was an incel for the last 3 years, I was recently able to get out (No, I'm still a virgin, but I'm ok with that) and I wanted to share what I've learned.
Let's see, I was a late bloomer, I didn't quite want to get a girlfriend around 2020-2021, so during the pandemic. I was genuinely interested on the idea of finding one so I asked the internet for advice.
So you can probably imagine what happened, I got recommended lots of redpill videos, Andrew Tate, Hamza and such. I've never been good with women so since they had success I thought that they knew what they were talking about.
AWWWWW, HEEEELLLLLL NAW guys. Those guys are a bunch of losers, losers that prey on young, inexperienced men, I remember entering the Hamza discord, right? And guys, that was a cult!!!
I needed support because I was having some issues with my mom punishing me for not earning enough money, and those would always, ALWAYS, copy and paste the same answers: "don't be jeffrey, go to the gym, be an adonis/chad". THOSE AREN'T REAL ANSWERS!!! That's when I knew that something was wrong, I left the server but the damage was done, I was an incel, and my view of women was wrong.
Now, for more context, I'm a 23 years old, 5'0 feet, autistic man. I would watch daily videos about women hating guys with these characteristics, so I ended up with depression, I know that it sounds pathetic but it's what happened.
So, how did I get out?
Well, first, this whole thing has been a journey, and still is! It's going to take a while but I feel like it's worth it.
Sites like this one have helped me a lot, it's hard to believe but seeing people constantly fight against the redpill ideas has been of great help, and honestly? At least for me what helped me the most, no question has been manga, manga like Vagabond and Real were great!
Why? Because I was able to connect with the characters and their struggles, little by little I would come to understand that I have issues and that a girlfriend isn't the solution for them.
I remember asking lots of times, how can I give up? how can I stop desiring love and affection? I say this because I'm sure that lots of incels have been asking this as well, because if we don't have the desire then we would be free from this and finally focus on actually living!
For me what helped me was understanding that I wasn't made for being in a relationship, I have no redeeming qualities, as in being defective in body, mind, soul, everything, everything is broken, so trying to be in a relationship would be just a waste of time, and if a woman were to see my body she would most likely start throwing up and crying and it would be a traumatic experience for both of us.
But guess what?
Now that I'm not looking for a relationship I actually have time for enjoying my hobbies like pixel art, music, games and such, instead of thinking all the time about women, and yes, I'm aware that I have issues, I'm still not able to go to therapy but once I get the chance I'll do it, and this is something that I wouldn't have said years ago!
In all honesty, I feel like I'm missing lots of details, but this post is getting too long, so if you feel like this post helped you or if you have questions then feel free to comment and I'll try to answer when I get the time, thank you for reading!
