Every other month I have a dream about a girl from 15 years ago.

[Wizard]

I talked to her online and around then you weren't expected to share photos and people didn't have webcams. I knew she was real actually and saw her face. The internet was pretty different from it is now, "lol so randum" and *glomping* was actually a viable way to talk to girls; you fuckers missed out. There was less competition too then since the internet was for social outcasts.

I don't think about her at all while I'm awake, it would be insane to. I can't even remember anything about her really, I wouldn't even want to have the same IM conversations I had then for goodness sake, there is literally nothing about that experience I can even daydream about it's so long ago and so foreign to me.

But every other fucking month I wake up from a dream when I'm thinking about if we'd got in to a relationship, if we'd met offline, if we were still together for a decade. This is my only reference point for my brain when desiring relationships, it is literal torment to wake up in this stuff because it's so absurd that my brain focuses on that. I guess this is intense loneliness in action. A brain craving for something my rational mind has already dismissed entirely. It honestly ruins a couple of days every time it happens because I feel a profound sense of loss and loneliness that I have to wait out.

I never got oneitis stuff, I never obsessed about women, but this fucking haunts me. This is a level of pathetic I'm ashamed to share even here. But this is what happens when you're socially isolated for so long.

 

[Deleted member 306]

How did you meet her? What did she look like? How were the chats? Why didn't you meet irl?

 

[Wizard]

How did you meet her? What did she look like? How were the chats? Why didn't you meet irl?

Met her on a random forum, can't even remember what it was.
She was just some kind of chubby blonde teenage girl.
I can't remember what we chatted about, music, depression, teenager stuff? It was very much meaningless things, can't remember anything in particular. I was too ashamed to tell her too much about me.
We were teenagers and lived far away, plus the friendship didn't last long only a month or two

It really wasn't anything substantial, not like you'd imagine a relationship today online. Which makes it all the more retarded.

 

[VLÖ]

I had the exact same thing happen to me.
Obviously it didn't last long and it ended before we ever met irl.

I'm torn on whether it was real or just manipulation, but damn does it sting.

 

[Deleted member 306]

Met her on a random forum, can't even remember what it was.
She was just some kind of chubby blonde teenage girl.
I can't remember what we chatted about, music, depression, teenager stuff? It was very much meaningless things, can't remember anything in particular. I was too ashamed to tell her too much about me.
We were teenagers and lived far away, plus the friendship didn't last long only a month or two

It really wasn't anything substantial, not like you'd imagine a relationship today online. Which makes it all the more retarded.

She sounds like a nice jailbait. Kinda sad you lived far away. Back in the day, women were not so overpowered so she could have been like you in some ways.

 

[LanaDelRey]

You are singlehandedly the most blackpilled poster in the entire board. I read all of your posts gonna make a thread about you as well.
You have really went blackpill and.beyond,especially in understanding social dynamics.

 

[nigger]

At least once a week I dream that I'm still in high school, talking to a girl that I haven't seen for close to a decade. After waking up I actually have to snap myself out of it and remember that I finished school years ago.

She moved away in 2009. I think that's when my mental illness started.