both.
I was bullied a lot in elementary/middle school for being smaller than all the other kids. When I was 14 or 15 my looks improved and I hit a growth spurt. Suddenly everyone respected me and wanted to be friends. Some girls showed interest, but I was still mentally fucked from when I was younger.
I went through another bad phase from 17 to 21. Started losing my hair, got acne + scars from chickenpox, developed an underbite, etc. I was practically invisible during those years. Had no friends and girls would look at me with scorn. My life only started to improve again after I got jaw surgery and started gymcelling. Within a few months I was getting invited to parties and whatnot. Made some major changes that year... got my license, started working, etc.