zekr
AMOR FATI
★★
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2020
- Posts
- 1,604
Similar to how someone who lets say gets attacked or stabbed or kidnapped or something at a young age will experience trauma that morphs the way in which they mentally develop. There will always be this internalized fear within them even if they go through therapy and the whole 9 yards of trying to heal that even, it will always remain with them in some capacity to where they view themselves as a 'survivor'. Not receiving any reciprocal love from the opposite sex, 0 FRIENDS (OR HELL ANYONE) from the start of puberty onward is the same. IT FUCKS YOU UP if the need becomes unmet. Even if I did ascend I will never forget the nights Ive spent for years now just brooding away at the world, feeling unloved and angry, disenfranchised and alienated from everything and everyone. It is a scar that will never go away. In fact, the only motivation that I have to do anything is derived from anger at the situation my entire life essence has fell upon. A lonely forgotten soul. A digital nomad endlessly drifting through the online world without a purpose. My personality has settled over the course all of these years into a purely cynical, pessimistic, misanthrope, with nothing to lose but the very mental hellscape that my carnal body inhabits if I were to take my own life.
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