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Story Dream has me questioning reality (dissociation, identity crisis, Jim Carrey schizo pill)

iblamemyself

iblamemyself

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Not long ago, I had a dream. I was aware in the dream, so you could call it a lucid dream, but it’s not so easy.

The thing is, I forgot who I was in this life. The memory didn’t exist or at least it was not accessible. So while I was aware, I had no memory of my life as “iblamemyself” and his identity.

Instead, I was someone else and when I say someone else, I mean that I, or he, had a complete life, including past experiences, which I could remember and I thought these were mine. I also had plans for the day and for the future and I, being aware, used my free will to execute these plans.

I went and bought a can of Coca Cola and then went to meet my mom.

It was just when I woke up as “iblamemyself” that I remembered that I went to sleep and had this dream.

But it was so weird. I’m not sure if I can even describe what I feel. Imagine you, as you are now, wake up tomorrow and realize that all you’re experiencing right now was just a dream. You thought you lived for 20 or 30 years or however old you are, but you just dreamed of being you for one day and your memories tricked you into believing you had lived a whole life.

But you didn’t make these memories, you already had them at the point when you became aware of your life.

What was actually the first thing that I can remember? I was about 4 years old and it was when my dad went to the toy store with me and bought me a wooden box to put my toys into.

That’s the very first thing I can remember. Where did the memories before that go? And could it be that I became “iblamemyself” in 2005? 2010? 2012? Yesterday? Today?? Could it be that I just remember getting the wooden box, but it’s an illusion, because I became aware much later in life and just believe I had already been there when “I” was given the wooden box?

After all, I have no clue whether I actually experienced my past or became aware of the present moment, with a past already lived.

There is no way to tell the difference.

What are we exactly? The sum of our memories? Really, when “your” memories could be “not your” memories?
 
You can go shizo just through skepticism, accept youll never know anything for certain and cope
 
Same things happens to me sometimes. Dreams are very mysterious, why do we even dream in the first place? and how brain creates every night different worlds and scenarios? And sometimes dreams continue in the same realm and leave you with memories of a different life.

One night i dreamt that i lived in completely different neighbourhood and i knew people, i knew where the stores are, i had childhood memories from that world. TBH it seemed more real than what i experience now. When i woke up, it took me like 5 min to realize what is real and what is not.

Very often i dream about my brother coming back from somewhere, i talk to him in dreams and he is the same like he used to be. In reality he died 3 years ago.

Our earliest memories are often memories of a memory.
 
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Same things happens to me sometimes. Dreams are very mysterious, why do we even dream in the first place? and how brain creates every night different worlds and scenarios? And sometimes dreams continue in the same realm and leave you with memories of a different life.

One night i dreamt that i lived in completely different neighbourhood and i knew people, i knew where the stores are, i had childhood memories from that world. TBH it seemed more real than what i experience now. When i woke up, it took me like 5 min to realize what is real and what is not.

Very often i dream about my brother coming back from somewhere, i talk to him in dreams and he is the same like he used to be. In reality he died 3 years ago.

Our earliest memories are often memories of a memory.
I have a theory that our consciousness creates our reality and our dreams, our brain and body (which is also created by our consciousness) merely interprets reality and dreams. Like a VR headset.

Why our consciousness keeps creating this reality? I don’t know why.

Sorry about your bro :cryfeels:
 
Why our consciousness keeps creating this reality? I don’t know why.
From evolution standpoint dreams makes no sense at all, especially since we are very vulnerable during REM phase, because its a deeper sleep, much harder to wake up if some shit happens. Maybe its like a therapy or training for real life situations?

Sorry about your bro :cryfeels:
Thanks bro.
 
Not long ago, I had a dream. I was aware in the dream, so you could call it a lucid dream, but it’s not so easy.

The thing is, I forgot who I was in this life. The memory didn’t exist or at least it was not accessible. So while I was aware, I had no memory of my life as “iblamemyself” and his identity.

Instead, I was someone else and when I say someone else, I mean that I, or he, had a complete life, including past experiences, which I could remember and I thought these were mine. I also had plans for the day and for the future and I, being aware, used my free will to execute these plans.

I went and bought a can of Coca Cola and then went to meet my mom.

It was just when I woke up as “iblamemyself” that I remembered that I went to sleep and had this dream.

But it was so weird. I’m not sure if I can even describe what I feel. Imagine you, as you are now, wake up tomorrow and realize that all you’re experiencing right now was just a dream. You thought you lived for 20 or 30 years or however old you are, but you just dreamed of being you for one day and your memories tricked you into believing you had lived a whole life.

But you didn’t make these memories, you already had them at the point when you became aware of your life.

What was actually the first thing that I can remember? I was about 4 years old and it was when my dad went to the toy store with me and bought me a wooden box to put my toys into.

That’s the very first thing I can remember. Where did the memories before that go? And could it be that I became “iblamemyself” in 2005? 2010? 2012? Yesterday? Today?? Could it be that I just remember getting the wooden box, but it’s an illusion, because I became aware much later in life and just believe I had already been there when “I” was given the wooden box?

After all, I have no clue whether I actually experienced my past or became aware of the present moment, with a past already lived.

There is no way to tell the difference.

What are we exactly? The sum of our memories? Really, when “your” memories could be “not your” memories?
Did you take the drug Satvia?

Hinduism has the answers you seek. You are not the labels society gives you, but pure awareness. You are the observer.
 
But it was so weird. I’m not sure if I can even describe what I feel. Imagine you, as you are now, wake up tomorrow and realize that all you’re experiencing right now was just a dream. You thought you lived for 20 or 30 years or however old you are, but you just dreamed of being you for one day and your memories tricked you into believing you had lived a whole life.
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That’s the very first thing I can remember. Where did the memories before that go? And could it be that I became “iblamemyself” in 2005? 2010? 2012? Yesterday? Today?? Could it be that I just remember getting the wooden box, but it’s an illusion, because I became aware much later in life and just believe I had already been there when “I” was given the wooden box?
 
Very often i dream about my brother coming back from somewhere, i talk to him in dreams and he is the same like he used to be. In reality he died 3 years ago.

Our earliest memories are often memories of a memory.
Holy shit that's awful to hear. How did he die?
 
I can't relate to your feelings since my dreams are lame. It's eating a bagle or getting mauled apart by a bear.
 
Either you are schizo or i am too dumb to comprehend this
 
Holy shit that's awful to hear. How did he die?
He had a thrombosis, or so the doctor said said. He was in the hospital because he caught covid. He was on oxigen for 3 days, then situation improved. He was saying that he feels OK and soon should be released home.
On 6th day in the morning doctor called on phone and said that he died at night. That thrombosis moved and he got a heart attack and died almost instantly.
Everything seemed unreal, when someone is close to your age, you expect them to always be around. Sometimes I think that doctors lie and did something awful. But with our crappy genetics and he always ate greasy food and never went on check ups. Most likely he had just horrible luck.
 
He had a thrombosis, or so the doctor said said. He was in the hospital because he caught covid. He was on oxigen for 3 days, then situation improved. He was saying that he feels OK and soon should be released home.
On 6th day in the morning doctor called on phone and said that he died at night. That thrombosis moved and he got a heart attack and died almost instantly.
Everything seemed unreal, when someone is close to your age, you expect them to always be around. Sometimes I think that doctors lie and did something awful. But with our crappy genetics and he always ate greasy food and never went on check ups. Most likely he had just horrible luck.
That's terrible. Were you close with him?
 
That's terrible. Were you close with him?
Yeah, we lived in same house whole life. We weren't friends who confide in each other since he was 4 years older and more mature. But we relied on each other. Last time we talked it was about some dumb movie. Weirdly how your last words to someone can be so meangless. I don't think that he knew how much I respected him and looked up to him. Between brothers most things stay unspoken, it's awkward to talk with them some more intimate stuff. Some guys from here with whom I talked more, actually know me better than my family members.
 
Yeah, we lived in same house whole life. We weren't friends who confide in each other since he was 4 years older and more mature. But we relied on each other. Last time we talked it was about some dumb movie. Weirdly how your last words to someone can be so meangless. I don't think that he knew how much I respected him and looked up to him. Between brothers most things stay unspoken, it's awkward to talk with them some more intimate stuff. Some guys from here with whom I talked more, actually know me better than my family members.
Yeah, I can relate to that. I know people here better than my sisters. I hope you're still doing well and hanging in there. I would not handle a family member death well at all.
 
Yeah, I can relate to that. I know people here better than my sisters. I hope you're still doing well and hanging in there. I would not handle a family member death well at all.
I hope that your sister are healthy and you won't never experience anything like that.
 
So beautiful

Did you take the drug Satvia?

Hinduism has the answers you seek. You are not the labels society gives you, but pure awareness. You are the observer.
No, didn’t take anything, but I do experiment with meditation and lucid dreams and stuff like that. In a way, I experience these things, because I desire it and because I open myself up to it.

Indeed, everybody has a role, but it’s just a collection of labels.
 
Same things happens to me sometimes. Dreams are very mysterious, why do we even dream in the first place? and how brain creates every night different worlds and scenarios? And sometimes dreams continue in the same realm and leave you with memories of a different life.

One night i dreamt that i lived in completely different neighbourhood and i knew people, i knew where the stores are, i had childhood memories from that world. TBH it seemed more real than what i experience now. When i woke up, it took me like 5 min to realize what is real and what is not.

Very often i dream about my brother coming back from somewhere, i talk to him in dreams and he is the same like he used to be. In reality he died 3 years ago.

Our earliest memories are often memories of a memory.
Yeah, dreams of dead friends are brutal. I've been there.
 
I had a dream about being a manlet. My taller Chad friend, me, and two girls were walking somewhere, and the staircase started becoming higher and higher, until those three left me in the dust

Jfl It almost sounds like a joke, "what does the incel dream of?"
 
I had a dream about being a manlet. My taller Chad friend, me, and two girls were walking somewhere, and the staircase started becoming higher and higher, until those three left me in the dust

Jfl It almost sounds like a joke, "what does the incel dream of?"
I usually dream the everyday mundane daily stuff with slight changes. Or about living a normal life, having a cute gf, where people treat me like an equal and nice, those are suifuel.

Nightmares usually involve demonic presence and some dreadful sinister feeling and i usually try to pray or scream but i lose my voice.
 
Dreams might Be implanted memories that your allowed " to experience . Given some Dreams are way to Graphic and can even generate Perfect Anime / Game Like Visuals you find yourself in .

Its only when your in Rapid Eye Movement ( REM ) tho , either the brain becomes hyper capable " in that Phase . Or somethung Else IS going on .
 

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