For long time now i haven't really been playing that many games, I've just browsed the internet and occasionally might play a game for an hour or so. I kinda have given up on gaming alone because of OCD that cripples my experience, i get bothered by weirdest little details. I fixate on them for absoutely no reason and get bothered that they aren't up to some standard that my mind has set for myself.
Lately i've been trying to play video games more often to maybe fight back against my own OCD, I figure that my mind wasn't always like this and that prehaps i have sub-consequently trained myself to fixate on those details. So i've playing games to fight back against and for awhile it seems i'm fine and that i reverted myself to my pre 2020 form in which nothing in game ever bothered me but then a slow sinking feeling of dread overwhelms me. I start thinking what's gonna bother me next, what little detail will I hype fixate upon? This feeling isn't unique to video games but feels most common their as my old life pre my OCD going into overdrive i used to play video games for long periods of time.
Another thing standing in the way of my ability to cope, The dread of that cope no longer being effective and it's not without an warrant as I've had my fairshare of times lately where the OCD kicked on overdrive. I wish it was so simple as normalfags believe, if i could take pills to have my OCD vanish than my mood would improve as i'd be able to dive head first into my copes once again, If only taking to a therapist would magically heal of all my mental aliments. It might become easier to cope with a life all alone.
I'd go back to my pre 2020, a loner who autistically enjoyed many different video games. relatively unbothered by my lack of romantic success because my copes were mostly working, sure i had times where the loneliness punched through anyways but it has never been as bad as it is now.
Lately i've been trying to play video games more often to maybe fight back against my own OCD, I figure that my mind wasn't always like this and that prehaps i have sub-consequently trained myself to fixate on those details. So i've playing games to fight back against and for awhile it seems i'm fine and that i reverted myself to my pre 2020 form in which nothing in game ever bothered me but then a slow sinking feeling of dread overwhelms me. I start thinking what's gonna bother me next, what little detail will I hype fixate upon? This feeling isn't unique to video games but feels most common their as my old life pre my OCD going into overdrive i used to play video games for long periods of time.
Another thing standing in the way of my ability to cope, The dread of that cope no longer being effective and it's not without an warrant as I've had my fairshare of times lately where the OCD kicked on overdrive. I wish it was so simple as normalfags believe, if i could take pills to have my OCD vanish than my mood would improve as i'd be able to dive head first into my copes once again, If only taking to a therapist would magically heal of all my mental aliments. It might become easier to cope with a life all alone.
I'd go back to my pre 2020, a loner who autistically enjoyed many different video games. relatively unbothered by my lack of romantic success because my copes were mostly working, sure i had times where the loneliness punched through anyways but it has never been as bad as it is now.
