well as you guys know i've spent the last 10+ years of my life online. no bullshit. i've consumed so much shit from 4chan/facesofdeath/liveleak/theync etc my brain is a toilet. due to being schizophrenic it's permanently warped my mind. i went from being a blue pilled cuck who would get hard just watching cleavage to a full blown degenerate who's delved into piss sports/scat/fakeRape/zoophilia/3somes/gangbangs/DPs/granny/milf/tentacle/futa/hentai/roughanal/BDSM i've jacked off to it all. tbh i consider myself a connoisseur of pancake tit and amputee porn.... anyways i never got to experience real life sex. let me tell you about the 1st time(and only time i saw a women naked in real life) i journeyed into the depths of degenerate hell at 13 years old.
it was 2005 (i was 13 years old)... i had already spent the last 2 years of my life playing runescape and jacking off to censored late night girls gone wide infomercials.. i had started jacking off when i was around 5 years old so i was getting real bored with the censored shit. i was going crazy. at nights i would cry because i could not get my dick down and it would hurt because i have severe phimosis.... i was so desperate to see a naked woman!!! all my acquaintances in school had acess to porn and GFs. some even had sex at that age.. and here i was a a loser. no girls would look at me. i never got any female attention.. this ate at me even more. while EVERYBODY flirted in school i never once received such attention.. this along with bullying killed my spirit.. but i still had a spark of hope.
the winter dance came. i still remember the day i asked my hot teacher to the dance(my retarded ass thought if i could take her to the school dance she'd fuck me jfl)... i put on a exquisite levis light blue jean, bought myself a nice tommy hilfiger blazer, and put on my dads stacy adams (though they were 4 sizes to big and i had to stuff them with toilet paper to fill them out)... hell i even stuffed a pair of socks into my crotch area in order to prevent erections and so my packaged could look bigger.
my plan was to ask her during lunch time on Tuesday because she was tasked during that day to keep a eye on students in the cafeteria... she looked sooooo delicious that day... petite, slim waist, nice pairs of probably 32B tits (which Tto 13 year old me were KNOCKERS).. i went up to her and got on one knee to ask her to prom. the cafeteria went silent. you could hear a needle drop. god what a mistake.. all of a sudden a guy screamed "VAMPIREEEEEE!!!!!" (the name jocks called me because i have hypo ecto dysplasia) and a group of stacies yelled "BIGGGG HEADDDDD!" (im a manlet with a big skull).... jesus christ even remembering gives me goose bumps. i dont wanna dwell too much but i ended up crying and the teacher said no (she at least took me to the hall corridor to tell me she couldn't go with a student). i was so heart broken.... during this time i wasn't on meds(or idk if i was my mom would everyday give me a pill or 2 but idk what they were for). my mental health was pretty OK but i know i was having minor hallucinations and delusions .
the thing was i didn't snap. i usually snap after such traumatic events but this time i didn't. i was completely lucid BUT desperate.. I WANTED TO SEE A NAKED WOMAN. thats when i stole some of my dads klonopin and decide to see a naked chick.... after 5mg of klonopin i came up with my plan.
Before i go on let me tell you this..... i come from a very sexually liberate family. i remember during family get togethers i would spy and listen into the older folks conversations. i would hide behind the sofa or something and just spend all night laid there listening to their conversations. usually it started off innocently remembering about old times. but as it got late and the liquor flowed the conversation would turn to more edgy topics. i once heard about the famous homeless street in dallas (i was living in dallas at the time) and how they would have sex under a certain under-bridge...
i also forgot to mention i was kicked out of school because after the humiliation and teacher rejected me i played a prank on her by taking her my moms dildo to school.... jaja i was laughing my ass off when i took it to her but apparently she didn't find it funny... so i had one month free.(parents said i needed a month off kek) i made it my mission to see a naked homeless bitch. if that was the only way i was gonna do it fuck it (i wasn't technologically savvy tbh)
i ran away from home with enough food/klonopin (i needed it to stay calm) to last me at least two days. i made base about a football field away from the homeless ppl and spied on them with my binoculars. eventually i ran out of food and klonopin
and thats when things went down hill FAST......
``````PART 2 COMING TOMORROW. SERIOUSLY IM CRYING MY EYES OUT. THIS IS A TRAUMATIC MEMORY. PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORSE. FUCK I WANNA STAB MY EYES OUT BUT I NEED EM..... ANYWAYS PART 2 WILL BE HERE WEDNESDAY TOMORROW``````````````
it was 2005 (i was 13 years old)... i had already spent the last 2 years of my life playing runescape and jacking off to censored late night girls gone wide infomercials.. i had started jacking off when i was around 5 years old so i was getting real bored with the censored shit. i was going crazy. at nights i would cry because i could not get my dick down and it would hurt because i have severe phimosis.... i was so desperate to see a naked woman!!! all my acquaintances in school had acess to porn and GFs. some even had sex at that age.. and here i was a a loser. no girls would look at me. i never got any female attention.. this ate at me even more. while EVERYBODY flirted in school i never once received such attention.. this along with bullying killed my spirit.. but i still had a spark of hope.
the winter dance came. i still remember the day i asked my hot teacher to the dance(my retarded ass thought if i could take her to the school dance she'd fuck me jfl)... i put on a exquisite levis light blue jean, bought myself a nice tommy hilfiger blazer, and put on my dads stacy adams (though they were 4 sizes to big and i had to stuff them with toilet paper to fill them out)... hell i even stuffed a pair of socks into my crotch area in order to prevent erections and so my packaged could look bigger.
my plan was to ask her during lunch time on Tuesday because she was tasked during that day to keep a eye on students in the cafeteria... she looked sooooo delicious that day... petite, slim waist, nice pairs of probably 32B tits (which Tto 13 year old me were KNOCKERS).. i went up to her and got on one knee to ask her to prom. the cafeteria went silent. you could hear a needle drop. god what a mistake.. all of a sudden a guy screamed "VAMPIREEEEEE!!!!!" (the name jocks called me because i have hypo ecto dysplasia) and a group of stacies yelled "BIGGGG HEADDDDD!" (im a manlet with a big skull).... jesus christ even remembering gives me goose bumps. i dont wanna dwell too much but i ended up crying and the teacher said no (she at least took me to the hall corridor to tell me she couldn't go with a student). i was so heart broken.... during this time i wasn't on meds(or idk if i was my mom would everyday give me a pill or 2 but idk what they were for). my mental health was pretty OK but i know i was having minor hallucinations and delusions .
the thing was i didn't snap. i usually snap after such traumatic events but this time i didn't. i was completely lucid BUT desperate.. I WANTED TO SEE A NAKED WOMAN. thats when i stole some of my dads klonopin and decide to see a naked chick.... after 5mg of klonopin i came up with my plan.
Before i go on let me tell you this..... i come from a very sexually liberate family. i remember during family get togethers i would spy and listen into the older folks conversations. i would hide behind the sofa or something and just spend all night laid there listening to their conversations. usually it started off innocently remembering about old times. but as it got late and the liquor flowed the conversation would turn to more edgy topics. i once heard about the famous homeless street in dallas (i was living in dallas at the time) and how they would have sex under a certain under-bridge...
i also forgot to mention i was kicked out of school because after the humiliation and teacher rejected me i played a prank on her by taking her my moms dildo to school.... jaja i was laughing my ass off when i took it to her but apparently she didn't find it funny... so i had one month free.(parents said i needed a month off kek) i made it my mission to see a naked homeless bitch. if that was the only way i was gonna do it fuck it (i wasn't technologically savvy tbh)
i ran away from home with enough food/klonopin (i needed it to stay calm) to last me at least two days. i made base about a football field away from the homeless ppl and spied on them with my binoculars. eventually i ran out of food and klonopin
and thats when things went down hill FAST......
``````PART 2 COMING TOMORROW. SERIOUSLY IM CRYING MY EYES OUT. THIS IS A TRAUMATIC MEMORY. PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORSE. FUCK I WANNA STAB MY EYES OUT BUT I NEED EM..... ANYWAYS PART 2 WILL BE HERE WEDNESDAY TOMORROW``````````````
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