I haven't given up on life and I dont feel in that way. I am LDAR, but its not a self induced LDAR, its just that I cant get anywhere with life, so Im doing what I can, which is doing my own thing, living in my own world, lifting weights, playing some video games, watching youtube videos, browsing the internet, going for walks, studying random things like history, the universe, etc. I just do things that don't involve other people, and it's fine. I can't get achieve anything or get anywhere in life when it involves having to have other people included, because I get socially mogged, looks mogged, hierarchy mogged, so I gain no benefit from being in the society itself, so I just do my own thing.
I dont know if this makes sense, but its just how it is. If I can't get anywhere outside dealing with people, then what else Im going to do besides what appears to be LDARing? If I didn't do what I do now, I'd have nothing else to do, its not like im choosing to not engage with society and people, its just that theres so many barriers to entry for getting anywhere that I just cant get anywhere, so I do things I can do, which are all things I can do in isolation without involving anyone else.
I wouldn't even say im on the bottom of the social hierarchy, id say im not even in the social hierarchy, bluepilled normie cucks who are manlets, ugly, poor, shit social circles, etc, those are the guys at the bottom of the social hierachy, they spend their entire live try-harding trying to get out of it but most of them never will.
A man in my position, not tall, not attractive, no social power, no anything, I can't just go outside and do stuff, people wont want to have anything to do with me, ive tried, it doesn't work, everyone does their own thing with their own social circle, that you cannot get into. Every "normal" thing in life involves having others letting you participate, and nobody does, so what else am I supposed to do? Just keep sitting around doing normal things until one day maybe some normies let me do normie things with them? Nah I'll just retreat to my own world and do my own thing, because I dont even have any interest in normie things, so Id be LARPing as a normie to begin with, so for me to even begin id have to be LARPing to be interest in normie shit to have 0.00001% chance at a normie group inviting me along, of who I have nothing in common with.
If you still dont get what I am saying, it is like MGTOW. MGTOW is really MSTOW, you're not choosing to be MGTOW, you're just either an incel who can't get women, or a betacuck provider who woke up and decided to stop cucking out, the MGTOW who had girlfriends in the past is still MSTOW, because once the betacuck provider stopped betacuck-providing, women ceased activities with him, so he is SENT his own way for not fulfilling his betacuck role in life, and HHKV MGTOWs are just incels in denial who have been MSTOW.
I am a Man Sent My Own way. MSMO.