We're similar. I don't really analyze myself because I know what I look like. One glance at any of my photos is all I need.
College started 3 weeks ago, but I still haven't been to any classes. Why? Because I don't want to go out looking the way I do. I want to be Chadlite and tall not just to get women, but to feel comfortable just living. Everything is so much better when you're attractive. For me going out, especially when there's a lot of people around is a huge chore and it drains me.
I don't have any motivation to do anything. When I'm out in public all I feel is anxiety and I'm constantly imagining what I look like to other people and when I think of how absolutely disgusting I look in photos I can just feel others seeing what I'm seeing in those photos.
They see a skinnyfat babyfaced weird shaped head little bloated chinless gremlin.
It's all I can really think about. I can't talk to people because I look even more disgusting when I talk and move my mouth. I have autism so all of this sounds weird to you guys, but it's the way it is for me. If I were a Chadlite everything would make more sense. I'd be excited to wake up and do all that stupid shit everyone has to do day after day. I'd enjoy it because that's what life is.
If I woke up as a 6'2" Chadlite tomorrow I'd go to class immediately and not even come back home until very late at night. I'd just walk around my town and enjoy life. I'd be out all day every day just walking and taking it all in. You don't really live if you're sub7.
In my room I feel comfortable. I can relax, I don't have to worry about my posture, how my clothes look, how my face looks or how my expression looks.