Me too, but I am twice your age.
I am trying to get treatments and surgeries for my pain but I can't do anything until China virus goes away. That could be a YEAR from now. If it ever even does. My health care is upended for an indefinite period of time.
If sex was available to me, I wouldn't even be able to partake. For me its not even about the sex anymore. Its about the loneliness. Like for me it would be ok just to watch a movie with a girl and maybe kiss her. Or hold her hand or whatever. I guess I can do that with the doll when she gets here.
Thoughts of suicide drift through my mind daily but not for the reasons most incels think. Like I think I am a 3-4 in looks. I would go down to a 2 if it meant I could have a healthy body. If I had a healthy body I could just enjoy the basics in life. I miss out on everything. I look at the lives of morbidly obese and short men and they lifemog me in every single fucking way. Not talking SMV. Just talking about like, before China virus hit, going out to the movies, going shopping, going on holidays/vaca, drinking alcohol, having friends, going dining, etc. I miss out on everything because I am a cripple.