Robotic might not be the right word, but I avoided using "NPC" or "sheep" or "hivemind" on purpose, since that paints certain specific pictures in your head.
I guess this is based on a feeling more than an elaborate argument. It's just that it does feel like that most of the time. I'm quiet and I've learned to keep it in, but I've always been so, so different from other people. Everybody just seems so ... similar and boring. When you break it down, all their differences seem so superficial and they're really just boring robots who question little. And even when they do question things it's still as a part of a herd mentality, being told by someone to question it.
I mellowed out after more than a decade of severe depression and rotting, but I'm still just so different from others. Not in a good way necessarily, definitely not when it comes to being productive or even functioning. By saying all this I don't mean that I consider myself special. Not anymore, life beat that out of me. Now I don't dare think of myself as special, it feels like the universe would punish me for merely thinking that (and I'm an atheist). That's how much life has beaten me up and kicked any thoughts of being special out of me. But at the core I guess I still have that tinge of narcissism and sense of superiority. After all, how could you not have that when you are a loner who avoided people all your life?
I guess this is based on a feeling more than an elaborate argument. It's just that it does feel like that most of the time. I'm quiet and I've learned to keep it in, but I've always been so, so different from other people. Everybody just seems so ... similar and boring. When you break it down, all their differences seem so superficial and they're really just boring robots who question little. And even when they do question things it's still as a part of a herd mentality, being told by someone to question it.
I mellowed out after more than a decade of severe depression and rotting, but I'm still just so different from others. Not in a good way necessarily, definitely not when it comes to being productive or even functioning. By saying all this I don't mean that I consider myself special. Not anymore, life beat that out of me. Now I don't dare think of myself as special, it feels like the universe would punish me for merely thinking that (and I'm an atheist). That's how much life has beaten me up and kicked any thoughts of being special out of me. But at the core I guess I still have that tinge of narcissism and sense of superiority. After all, how could you not have that when you are a loner who avoided people all your life?
