Yes, he was very uptight and controlling. One example: My older sister and I were on summer vacation. On two consecutive days, we took the bus to the beach. He said, "If I can't go to the beach on consecutive days, neither can you." What kind of bullshit is that? You are a grown ass man with a job. We are 12 and 16 year old kids. Why can't we go to the beach on two straight days?
He wasn't that active at school, but I think that most of the other parents could tell that he was a controlling dick and that is a major reason for my then, extreme introversion.
I don't think he was an incel. He actually was quite handsome. He looked like a thinner Alec Baldwin. Among the dads at school, he was probably the best looking. Maybe he was at times an incel before getting married at age 27, while probably not being a virgin up on marriage. I would say it is likely that he underachieved romantically given his handsomeness.
I remember in college my older sister emailed me saying, "Did you know that Dad thinks that we will underachieve due to having low confidence?" She was quite angry about that. I was not thrilled by it, but I thought, "Yeah, probably. But why does he think that we lack confidence? He is clearly a major reason."
Years later he actually told me, "I raised you to always turn the other cheek, and I should have told you that I will support you for standing up for yourself."
Mindset matters. Upbringing matters.